Chapter 3 | I'm going to break it | Remake our Life!
Part 1
"Thank you very much for everything...!"
On the way to the university, Saikawa thanked me many times.
"We didn't do anything, and in the end Saikawa seems to be the one who solved the problem."
When I told her, she slumped down in embarrassment.
"...Uhm, I don't always do that, you know?"
"I know that."
If she was always that aggressive, I wouldn't have approached her in the first place. It's scary.
"That Shibata, if I may say so myself... didn't seem like such a bad guy."
Saikawa says in a slightly somber tone.
"Somehow... What he said at the end was also a bit disturbing."
Yes, the Saikawa case was successfully resolved, but the fact that the actress left the university remained unknown.
What's more, even he himself had resigned from the university. There were limits to what we could do to pursue this story further.
"More than that, we need to get the stuff to Saikawa's house as soon as possible."
"T-That's right... I'm sorry, I will be asking Hashiba-senpai and Hikawa-senpai to help me again."
In the end, Saikawa officially moved into the share house. The decision was made because it was more convenient for her to be close to the university, and because her original apartment was not on an annual contract, making it easier for her to move in.
But most of all,
"Yeah... I think I can stay with Aki-san for a long time... I'm very happy...!"
For Saikawa, the most important point seemed to be that she could live in the same place as Shinoaki, whom she admired so much.
(Well, I'm glad it turned out the way it did)
Saikawa's case went off without a hitch. Next ――.
Part 2
As Kanou-sensei had previously announced, the class was held exactly three weeks later for team formation. However, the decision was not made in class, but rather a form was handed out and submitted within three days.
Since it was a required class, members of the same class, such as Shinoaki, Nanako, Kawasegawa, and Hikawa, were all present.
But I was seated separately from them that day for various reasons. I knew I would be approached after class, so I needed to be alone.
"Hashiba, you got a minute?"
It was Kuroda. As usual, he approached with his eyes squinting.
"Of course. Let's do what you said on the phone before."
"Hihi, that's just right. Let's go to that lawn seat, shall we?"
Kuroda nodded and decided to move as it was.
The space above the two former cafeterias was empty on this day. It was even more secluded than the last time I was here.
"Sit down?"
Kuroda asked me,
"No, I'm fine as is"
I answered and faced him while standing.
"So what do you want to talk about?"
He nodded and began to speak slowly.
"This time, our team is thinking of making an animation for the second-year task."
The content of the video envisioned by Kuroda was frighteningly forward-looking for this era.
"In today's Nico Nico Douga, there are a lot of still images that move and simple effects that are repeated. So, I'm trying to make a solid, real "video". But in order to do that, it is essential to have creators who have the power to do so. "
‘That's why’, he said and connected it,
"Shino... We want Shino Aki to be in charge of the animation of our work. That's what I'm thinking of asking her to do, but I thought I'd tell Hashiba just in case."
It was straight to the point. That is how I could tell that he really wanted Shinoaki's strength.
As a producer, it would be natural to hope so after being exposed to the expressive power of Shinoaki in that class the other day.
I remained silent and listened to him.
It must have been about a minute in time. I kept watching his movements. His gaze was also looking straight at me, as if matching his straight words.
There was no sense of deception there. I felt the will to create something good.
Open my mouth slowly.
"I need to check something about you."
"About me? What are you talking about?"
I continued my words in a matter-of-fact, emotionless manner.
"It's about the true nature of Kuroda Takayoshi, a talented production manager."
Kuroda's face contorted for a moment.
Along with the same tangled discomfort as today's air.
Then the distorted expression returned to a smile.
――Now the smile is distorted.
"...Hihi, fine, let's hear it."
Kuroda continued happily.
While investigating Shibata Arihiro, I was also secretly working on something else.
I wonder if there is actually a cause other than the rumored person that is creating the inexpressible uneasiness and atmosphere.
Since I did not have direct acquaintance with any member of the Kuroda team, I asked about their production system through indirect acquaintances.
"You never made any compromises when it came to production. You always demanded the best from your staff at all times."
Initially, there were many complaints. There were many staff members who wanted to confront Kuroda's methods head-on. However, he successfully extinguished those objections with his complete action against such staff.
"The schedule, the equipment, the money, all the frustrations that came up, were all cleared up nicely and shown to the staff. Right?"
Kuroda laughed and didn't answer anything.
Dissatisfaction is something that happens for a reason. Lack of money, lack of time, lack of things, lack of people. But once those things are neatly cleared away, the only thing that remains is "the ability".
Kuroda did just that. He made the dissatisfaction that each staff member had expressed completely disappear. He made a detailed filming schedule and went directly to the teacher to obtain time, and even went to the landowner's house and got down on his knees to obtain permission for the filming location, which was said to be reckless. He obtained several locations for the film to be shown off-campus, and even raised funds by soliciting sponsors. He did it all without making a single excuse for the actors, the equipment, or anything else.
The staff was in trouble. They had thought it was impossible to match, but when they did, it was their turn. The shooting site was filled with terrifying tension, and everyone showed more strength than they were originally capable of.
Among them, the greatest pressure was placed on the director, Shibata. He was the leader of the anti-Kuroda faction, but now that he had been set up so well, he was forced into a situation where he had to give his best performance.
The direction was brilliant. He did not give OKs to performances that he would normally have given, and his demands on the actors increased with each passing day. If they did not perform well, they were shouted down. The actors were perplexed. This was beyond the scope of a mere student film. If they did not put their heart and soul into it, or if they did not deliver something more than their heart and soul, they would die. So they became desperate. They were determined. The director and the staff responded.
"I finally understand why your team is named after the production manager and not the director."
Objectively speaking, it was the director who made that film and the actors who gave outstanding performances. However, if any member of the staff were asked "who" made the film, they would surely have mentioned the name of the production manager. He was indeed the best facilitator who created the best stage for the performers to give their best performances.
And as a result ―― that work was born. That work, although rough and ready, cut through the audience with the actors' performances and the overall atmosphere. The film was well received and immediately became a major topic of conversation within the department. The actors were great, the director was great, and so on.
After watching the finished film, Kuroda said this to the director and the actors,
"Disappointing. Overdirected, stage-style acting, the director and actors are ruining the movie."
The actors cried the moment they were told, and the director ranted and raved about unintelligible things and punched Kuroda, and the atmosphere was said to be the worst.
But everyone could not say anything. It was the production process that gave the best performance. As long as the work was unclouded, it was impossible to fault him in terms of his work.
So they taunted Kuroda with their feelings, at least as a counter-argument.
"A bastard, they said."
Kuroda apparently had a big smile on his face when he was told this.
This one incident led to both Shibata, the director, and Matsunaga, the actress, leaving the university. However, Kuroda's name was never mentioned as the reason for their departure. It may sound like an exaggeration, but he did the best job he could. And the criticisms that he had hurled at them, they could only emotionally refute because they had some idea of what he was talking about.
"Shibata said. He said Kuroda is a genius at driving his opponents completely into a corner and making them silent. So, when the opponent can't say a thing, the only way out is through compensatory action."
Shibata Arihiro had nowhere to run to find salvation. Therefore, he stepped over the line without hesitation to do what is normally considered wrong, and followed a girl with whom he was not close. Looking back, this may have been more like self-injurious behavior than an act of romantic love.
Kuroda Takayoshi is the best production facilitator ever. What he creates is of high quality, and his work is top-notch.
However, the system, which did not tolerate even the slightest mistaking, crushed the people on the team one by one, eventually forcing them to drop out.
A genius bastard.
A team member who heard the story said these words as if to spit them out.
"That's all I have to say about your nature. Is everything I said correct?"
Like me earlier, he also remained silent and listened.
He didn't deny anything, never stopped smiling that slight smile, and was so quiet that it felt creepy.
I felt a ripple in the tepid, stagnant air. Something mysterious, which had been covering me for a long time, slowly melted and soaked the surface of the earth in a sludge.
"Hihihi, hihi, hihihihi... hiha, hahahahaha !!"
Kuroda started laughing suddenly. After a stifled gesture, he eventually opened his mouth wide and continued laughing for a while.
"Well investigated. I'm impressed... You are not bad even though you're not a detective."
For all his verbal praise, he didn't seem the least bit emotional.
"So what?"
He said it in such a way that, just like his production style, he does not feel a single cloud over himself.
Both arms, which are even longer than usual, hang limply in front of the body, moving in an uncanny manner from side to side.
"A bastard~? What's wrong with that? It's natural to aim for the best in order to create a good work of art! But they just put their own shitty abilities on the shelf and started making excuses like "I don't have the money," "I don't have the equipment," "I don't have the time," I just had to get it all together. What's wrong with that? Nothing wrong, right? Instead, they should be thanking me"
Hihihihihi, Kuroda shakes his shoulders and laughs.
"I thought they'd be able to make something a little better since they were so desperate to make it, I saw a preview of the film and it was a complete disaster. The direction was just a bunch of incompetent screaming and the actors just rambled on and on without questioning it, I was about to leave, but I thought I'd at least give them my opinion, so I told them quite nicely, and they cried and moaned, just like in the movie, and I thought they were doing some kind of skit, hihihi"
A sigh, and a disappointed look.
"Making things is a war. Those who die will die on their own, and those who live will live. Once the commander has narrowed down his strategic wisdom, he should deploy his frames with only the best possible outcome in mind. Tactics are the responsibility of those in the field. Once the results come out, it's up to you how you want to take it. We're not kids, you know, asking the commander how to interpret the results. If you want praise, go home and get pampered by your mom"
And again, he laughed eerily.
"Hashiba, do you know what is the most important thing in creation?"
"……Who knows?"
Kuroda shook his eyes and opened his eyes.
"It's the work. It's obvious, isn't it? The work is everything! No matter what kind of project, no matter what kind of staff, no matter how much money or how little time, the final product is what counts. Look at a work that is a masterpiece, a masterpiece, no matter how scum the director is, no matter how devilish the producer is, no matter how bad the actors' personalities are, if the thing is good, everything will be overturned! There is only one person the creator cares about: the audience. All you have to do is think about breaking the audience's hearts. For that, no matter what the crew does, no matter if it kills them, it all pays off when the best film is made... Hihi"
It was the kind of voice that came in through my ears and stuck to the edges of my heart.
I could feel Kuroda's words penetrate into the most vulnerable places of my heart. Slowly, and then, as if soaking into it.
Ah~, I see, I finally get it.
The true identity of this mysterious, big, unpleasant thing.
"So, what is it? You can't give Shino to this horrible person? You've got a pretty good personality for going out of your way to make such a strong preamble, don't you, oi."
I shook my head quietly.
"No"
I made a firm smile. I'm not sure if I smiled well.
"The answer is, OK. Take care of Shinoaki."
It seemed as if Kuroda's expression had changed just a little, slightly. It may have been my imagination, but I may have been able to surprise him enough to poke holes in him with the tip of a needle.
"Can you tell me the reason?"
Kuroda said quietly.
I replied.
"That's because you're the ultimate egoist who will do anything to make things."
Chichi, a small bird that had been nestled in the bird's nest flapped its wings..
A breeze of unusually lukewarm temperature brushed my cheeks. The sky was high and clear, but the humid air made me feel uncomfortable.
"You may be verbally harsh, but you are serious, and you are earnest about your creativity, and I thought that if you were like that, Shinoaki would respond."
He was still smiling.
"Although the personality is an absolute mess of a bastard, the ability to produce works is definitely there. And in a completely different way than mine."
As a result, he has left a good work.
It is a great weapon, strong and unyielding enough to turn everything upside down.
"Hihihihi, Thank you very much for your high opinion of me. I see I see, I've been certified as a bastard by the best bastard."
"He~e, am I the same?"
Kuroda opened those big eyes to their maximum and laughed with his mouth half open.
It didn't look like a sneer to me. It looked like a smile from joy.
"You're a bastard guy, right? The guy who started making doujin games, made a lot of money, and then used up all the scenario writer and forced him to quit college, what an incredible bastard."
Kuroda looked at me and laughed, hya hya hya.
"I have never once pretended to be something I'm not. But Hashiba, what are you? You laugh and smile like a good guy, but when you do it, you cut down people more cruelly than anyone else, and you call me a bastard, isn't that so funny?"
I was prepared for it. I was prepared to be told about Tsurayuki and to be thoroughly beaten up about the way I was.
And I had also decided what I would say back after being told so.
"That's right. I'm the worst bastard. That's why I know you so well."
Because I did not understand the thoughts and pain of others, I acted and achieved results.
But it bounced back to me in a cruel way.
I could have turned a blind eye to it, but I have grown too fond of everyone to do that. So.
"I've made up my mind. I've decided that I'm going to swallow their lives and everything in them. No matter how many branches of the road they have to take in order to get there, they will always bring them back to themselves in the end."
When I came back from the future, I decided.
I want to be a person who never ceases to be passionate. I will take in all the joy, sadness, and anger, and burn it for them and for the work.
And I will use whatever I can use for that purpose. Even if it is a "deadly poison" that is a reflection of myself.
"I'm not afraid to crush people, okay? You just saw an example of that right in front of your eyes, and you... I don't care what happens."
"It's okay, I trust you."
I turned my back to him. I kept walking step by step.
And.
"He~e, fine."
Kuroda laughed.
"You're a dangerous guy. You put your most important staff member with someone who is clearly dangerous just because he has the ability. That's insane."
The most important one, huh?
That's right. I am now about to leave someone who was so important and who accepted me so much in the future world to others.
It's madness. I sometimes wondered if making things had to go this far.
But I decided to do it.
"I entrusted the best staff to you, make your work the best it can be. And I'm going to go further than that."
"Can you do it?"
From behind, words were thrown at me.
I turned only my face toward him and said.
"It's not "Can you do it?". I'll do it."
I opened the door and entered the classroom building. I did not see his response again.
Walking down the corridor lined with classrooms. It was the middle of class time, and my footsteps were echoing. From the window at the end of the corridor, I could see the sky whitened by the strong sunlight.
" ―― Otherwise, I wouldn't be living this life."
From my pocket, I pulled out a single yellow sticky note.
『Pairing the best talent with the best Shinoaki』
What has brought me back here?
Because there is absolutely no way I will ever forget that.
Part 3
It was a few days ago.
I had time to talk slowly with Shinoaki and once again ask her about what she wants to do and what she is interested in.
My initial prospect was that by meeting Saikawa, Shinoaki would get a new stimulus and regain her motivation.
But it was right in some areas and off in others.
When Shinoaki saw Saikawa's drawings, she,
"Minori-chan is amazing. As I thought, a girl who has studied art all her life is a little different."
Yes, she spoke with sincerity.
"I know that her drawings and my drawings are different, but there are parts of her that I just can't catch up with, and when that happens, I just... I feel a prick"
"A prick?"
"Yes. When I wish I could go back in time and start over, or wish I had drawn the picture from a better angle, I feel a prick deep inside my body."
As someone who has benefited from going back in time, this story really hit me.
"But for me, it's now or never. That's why I want to draw more, but unfortunately, my feelings just can't keep up."
Seeing Shinoaki smiling sadly, I was filled with a sense of guilt for what I had done.
It's not simply a matter of meeting a rival. Unless the genres and what they are working on mesh well together, it can simply lead to demotivation and, in a bad way, reassurance.
There is no doubt that Shinoaki was inspired by seeing what Saikawa draws.
(Taking that on, what is the next thing to work on)
Just as I was thinking this, I was approached by Kuroda in my animation training class.
There are subjects that would be of interest to Shinoaki. He said something like that, I think. he'll recommend it the next time he sees her.
A short time later, Shinoaki came to my room excitedly, which was unusual for her these days.
"Do you know Kyoya-kun? He lent me a lot of anime DVDs! Anime is amazing, there are so many different kinds of anime besides the ones on TV!"
After saying that, she spread out a DVD that Kuroda had lent her and talked incessantly about how great this was and how interesting that was.
"This one has a surprising amount of depth with just line drawings, and this one has a simple drawing, but the way it starts and ends is really cool."
Kuroda's selections were wide-ranging. And all of them were excellent in the techniques of direction and editing that he mentioned, and it was clear that he was trying to change Shinoaki's preconceived notions about anime.
"Shinoaki"
"Hmm?"
"What did you think after seeing all these different things? Are you still not that interested in anime?"
When I asked her before, she was not very interested in animation. She was only interested in doing it because it was an assignment, and she was only passionate about it.
But,
"I thought I'd like to give it a try. I realized that all I was doing was just playing around with the beginning, so now I can do more of this kind of thing."
Shinoaki nods once there,
"Yeah, anime... I want you to try it. It looks interesting."
"……I see"
Frankly, I was very frustrated. I was no match for Kuroda in terms of motivating Shinoaki. I had not been able to break free from my preconceived notion that she must have one picture in mind, from the perspective of doing what she wanted to do.
It was easy for me to say, "Well, let's make an animation together". I'm sure she would reply with her usual smile, "Sure".
But that was not a real choice to move forward. Above all, I did not have a plan for making animation, and I am sure that Kuroda would have taken into account what kind of animation he wanted Shinoaki to make.
So I told her.
"Shinoaki, I have a little suggestion for you."
"Hmm~? What is it?"
I think I haven't seen her like this in a long time. She was full of motivation and things she wanted to create, and she looked irresistibly happy. Seeing her like this, I was very frustrated.
But I was very ...... happy in that I found a path that leads to the future.
Part 4
And yesterday, a meeting was held to decide the future of Team Kitayama.
In addition to the three people in the shared house, Kawasegawa and Hikawa are also there. All were sitting around the kotatsu, which had finally reached the point where the futon had been removed.
In my seat, I stood up and was the first to say.
"This time, Shinoaki will be removed as a member of the team."
After a moment of silence,
"Hnnn?!"
Nanako was the first to stand up.
"W-What's wrong Kyoya ?! Did you have a fight with Shinoaki? Did you do something naughty? I-If you did, you should do it in the proper order, or else you'll be disrespectful to Shinoaki! Oh no, what am I talking about!"
"Nothing has been done to me~"
Nanako's sudden outburst was stopped by the carefree voice of Shinoaki.
"T-Then, is that because of me? And, but when I sing in my room, I tell Shinoaki first so that I don't disturb her, and, um, I don't eat umakayo without permission, eh, um, I'm sorry, I have no idea……"
After soothing Nanako, who was confused, I said calmly.
"I thought about it a lot. I thought a lot about what would be good for Shinohaki and what would be something I could seriously face. But none of that would lead to the creation of something with this team. So――"
I suggested to Shinoaki that she make things with Kuroda team.
He probably anticipated that he would make that approach to her.
Hikawa asked me while folding his arms.
"Uhm, is this guy, Kuroda, a great guy in Hashiba's eyes?"
"Yeah. At least, I think he's the one who can make a proposal that can be of interest to the current Shinoaki."
"I see. Then I guess I agree. Because it's good for Shinoaki to do what he wants to do."
He nodded and seemed convinced.
"I agree too"
Kawasegawa also raised her hand and responded with a few short words.
"Because Hashiba, who has been working with us all this time, has decided to do it, so I am sure it is a proposal for the better."
I was grateful that she interpreted it in a much better way.
Nanako looked around in surprise as everyone moved in favor of the proposal.
"Eh, uhm, Shinoaki... is that okay?"
Shinoaki smiled,
"If it were you, I would have agreed from the beginning ~"
"Shinoaki..."
"When I entered this university, I decided to study a lot, and I thought that if I could learn things that I didn't know, it would be nice to explore something different."
Shinoaki was always positive and diligent.
She agreed to my preparedness suggestion with a lighthearted, "Sure~" as if she were talking about something else.
But behind that lightness, more than anything else, was an awareness of the challenge of new things and absorption. I have a newfound respect for Shinoaki.
"It's okay, it's not like we're saying goodbye forever, we're just going to make it in a different place, so don't worry Nanako, okay?"
Well, since we have been working together as a team for so long, it is understandable that a sudden change in team members would cause confusion. After all, it has been less than half a year since Tsurayuki left Team Kitayama.
"I-I got it... If Shinoaki and Kyoya say that, that's fine, hm."
Nanako finally seemed to be satisfied when Shinoaki patted her on the head.
"I'm not going to lose, I don't know what Shinoaki and the others are going to make, but I'm going to make good music and make you want to work with me again!"
"Oh, Nanako's going for it, I'm not going to lose to you either!"
I thought, as expected, they are both creators. If they are too shinny here, that could lead to a relationship that sticks to the group in a bad way.
To be aware of each other, but not to be acrimonious, but to encourage each other.
I want them to be like that.
"I'm sure everyone has their own opinions, but we are not only team members, but also individual creators. That's why I don't want to bend what you want to do... and stick to the team."
Everyone looked at me with a serious face.
"I promise. When it's over, I'll definitely... connect to something new."
Part 5
And today, as I predicted, Kuroda moved.
I did what I was supposed to do and declared war on him.
I have not confirmed it, but he will probably write Shinoaki's name on his team members. And we, Team Kitayama-Kai, don't know if it will be Kai 2 or New, but Shinoaki's name disappears from it.
Including the loss of Tsurayuki, the number of members has been reduced by half from the initial members. In the normal course of events, it is safe to say that this is a major change.
At the end of class, I really wanted to talk about this with someone, so I sent an e-mail to Kawasegawa. I was doubtful that she would read it, as she is deathly weak with machines, but fortunately, 10 seconds after I sent it, I received a phone call saying, "What".
And now, I'm walking along the way to the share house, talking to her.
"You've taken a very big gamble."
Kawasegawa said, still in a tone of astonishment.
"It's the result of a lot of thought. So I have no regrets. I will give it my all."
While responding, my arm had been numb ever since my earlier conversation with Kuroda.
"Anyway, when you meet the members, you should stop looking like a person who wants to kill."
"Eh, do I have that scary face..."
In the middle of asking her back, she showed me a hand mirror, and I was a little taken back by the look on my own face.
It seemed I was taking it too seriously, more so than I had thought.
My brow was furrowed and my eyes looked as if I had killed someone.
If I went home with this, they would probably be very worried.
"Sorry, I'll fix it right away..."
"Remember all the stupid pictures and videos you've seen lately, and smile properly."
Does Kawasegawa also watch such videos? I wonder what kind of things she likes. But I'm afraid she would get angry if I ask her.
"... But to be honest, I think you were the only one who could come up with this solution."
"Is that so"
"Yes, the answer came from the fact that you faced Shinohaki properly and didn't just let it pass by. I think the process is more important than whether or not the answer is correct."
"I hope so. I hope it doesn't end in vain."
I said something a little unreliable.
Then Kawasegawa suddenly turned around where she was walking and,
"You see, listen?"
"Eh, eh?"
"There is not a single thing in this world that is in vain! So be confident and do it to the best of your ability!"
For a moment, the airport lobby of that day came back to me.
When I was in shambles, she brought me back to life with a powerful blow, along with Kawasegawa Eiko at that time. I see, she had been living with these words for such a long time.
I am a happy person. I really think so.
Even when I make suggestions or remarks that might make others unhappy, they all face it properly and support me in this way.
I guess this is exactly where my greatest happiness lies, being able to rewind the time back 10 years.
"...Thank you, Kawasegawa"
I thanked her wholeheartedly,
"Eh, it's so creepy, to thank me again..."
Naturally, with no weight of ten years on her shoulders, Kawasegawa was bound to become suspicious.
Kawasegawa was still mumbling to me, and before I knew it, we had arrived at the front of the share house. It was almost dusk, and the lights were coming in from the house.
"L-Look, we've arrived. Is your face okay?"
"Yeah, I'm okay because I remembered the funniest picture and put a smile on my face."
I decided not to tell her what kind of image it was, because she would seriously despise me if I told her the details.
I take a deep breath and open the door to which I am accustomed to return.
"I'm back"
"Welcome ba~ck"
Everyone's voices echoed as usual.
But from today on, the routine will be a little different from usual.
With passion and determination, change it.
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