Chapter 4 | "Not So" | Remake our Life!
Part 1
One month later. I was in
Nishi-Ikebukuro.
I walked through the street by
the park and stood in front of a high-class apartment building that stood out
from the rest.
One, after taking a deep
breath, I pressed the intercom.
"Yee ~ s"
A cheerful voice came over the
speakers.
"This is Hashiba"
"Ah, I've been waiting for
you ~"
I said my name, and the door
opened easily like last time.
In front of the large glass
door, I take a deep breath.
"Yoshi..."
I reconfirmed the contents of
the conversation in my head and went inside with determination.
The room is clean and tidy as
usual.
Despite her flashy appearance,
she was always meticulous and polite.
"This time, it looked like Hashiba-san came alone."
Minori Ayaka sipped tea from
the cup in her hand and smiled.
Today, she was not dressed in
gothic lolita, but in a normal outfit.
"Yes, I thought it would
be easier to talk to you alone."
"Right, if with
Morishita-san, we will always talk about work from the start ~"
She giggled aloud and placed
the cup on the saucer.
Then she carefully brought her
hands together on her lap,
"Thank you for your help
with the recent disturbance."
"Ah no no..."
The series of ruckus over Mystic Clockwork had, of course, reached her ears.
She was close to perfect when
it came to handling social networking. Since she was in charge of the main
character design, and since she couldn't create the characters in time for the
release, there was a tendency to criticize her based on speculation, but she
didn't refute them at all, and kept a quiet attitude of watching the process.
"I apologize to sensei for
any inconvenience this may have caused."
"I wasn't harmed in any
way. More than that..."
Ayaka's eyes shone with curiosity.
"I heard that it was
thanks to Hashiba-san that the fire was extinguished. Can you tell me how you
did it?"
At one point, what had happened
in the company had been kept confidential. It wasn't something that I would
tell anyone else, and I wanted to keep it to myself.
She is one of the parties
involved and has been indirectly affected. In terms of accountability, it is
morally possible for her to hear out if she asked me to do so.
I think she probably
understands that and is listening. As a compliment, she was a really smart
person.
"...I understand. Assuming
that sensei will not divulge any of this, please."
"Yes, I promise."
Ayaka gave a friendly smile.
Part 2
On the day of the commotion,
there was a strange atmosphere in front of the development office.
In the room, the president was
shouting this and that, and the development staff was responding to him in a
half-hearted manner.
Then I suddenly shouted loudly.
The area was instantly quiet,
and all eyes turned to me, the sound of the voice.
"H-Hashiba-kun, why are
you suddenly shouting so loud!"
The president turned his anger
toward me and approached me.
"I'm sorry, I just thought
to get out a little motivation."
"Motivation? What do you
mean motivation?"
Then the president made a
surprised look,
"Ah, I see, by any chance
you are that, you're going to solve this mess like you always do, that's helpful!"
He suddenly changed his attitude
and tapped me on the shoulder with a smile.
"What are you talking
about?"
"You already know! MysClo
is on fire! And according to Kawasegawa-kun, the program is in bad shape, isn't
it? If we don't take action right now, the company is in danger!"
MysClo is an abbreviation for
Mystic Clockwork. The president told us to call it by its official name or
the development number APG08, but it is not time for that.
Nevertheless, I wonder if there
is something I can do about this way of talking about the Kawasegawa, which is
the head of development.
I made eye contact with
Kawasegawa, "Leave it to me".
"Then, you're okay with me deciding what to do?"
"F-Fine, but you will have
to protect the parts that are in the specifications!"
It came. He was probably
talking about in-house engines.
"Please listen,
President"
I stand right in front of the
president and tell him straight out.
"It's an engine we
developed ourselves, but it's useless. Let's throw it away."
This kind of person can't be
understood even if I say it in a roundabout way. It's better to talk about it
from the conclusion first.
"……Ha?"
The president's eyes darted.
"You didn't hear what I
said? I said we're abandoning our own engines."
"What did you say!!"
I could see the president's
face turn bright red.
"No way I'll let you do
that! Do you have any idea how important our engine is going to be as a pillar
of our company!"
"I understand what you're
saying, but it's too reckless to do in this project."
"What's so reckless about
it, an announcement of such a large work will surely attract more attention and
be a good material for the public listing!"
Aa~, As I thought he was doing it for the attention, huh...
I didn't know why he would take
the risk, but it made sense now.
"But the errors are so
frequent now that if we don't do something about it, the credibility of this
game will fall to the ground. Are you okay with that?"
"Just fix it and it will
be okay! Then, it will be managed somehow, Kawasegawa-kun said it too!"
Kawasegawa was standing aside
with a bitter look on her face. Perhaps she was forced to say so.
"It's a waste of time and
effort to spend for that. Considering the amount of work that needs to be done
at the script and material level, it is better to recreate it here for later
use."
"So what do we do! How are
we going to build an engine when we don't even have a programmer!"
Alright, I've brought the talk this
far.
It's not a good idea to leave
the engine as it is, with that flow, I knew he was going to say these things. He
knew from the start that there was no way that a replacement could be prepared
quickly enough.
"We have, if it's an
engine"
" ......Eh?"
The door to the development
office opened energetically behind the disheartened president.
"I'm sorry, I'm
late!"
Kishida, the B team sub-leader, came in.
"That engine thing we were
talking about, do you think we can implement it yet?"
Kishida grinned and said,
"Of course, as long as you
have the script and materials, we can get it running immediately."
From his PC, Kishida sent a
link to the A-team members to let them know where the engine was located.
"Can you load the script
file from the file I just sent you?"
"Yeah, but don't we need
to make any adjustments?"
"Okay, just as it is"
The director of Team A copied
the file from his PC with a half-confused look on his face. As he was told, he
immediately put the script data into the engine and ran it.
"Eeeh?"
After a while, a surprised
voice came up.
"You're kidding... it just
works without any adjustments!"
"Really? And it's so
light! It doesn't even crash with errors!"
The staff began to gather
around the director's desk.
"What did you do...?"
Kawasegawa is looking at me
like she has no idea what is happening.
Part 3
"...So what did you do?"
Ayaka, who was listening to the
story, didn't seem to understand.
"For some time, MysClo's
development had come to a standstill. That's why I told Kishida, our
sub-leader, to investigate and take action."
If I didn't use it, I thought
it would be a blessing in disguise. Unfortunately, this engine became the key
to this story.
Part 4
"The engine is made by Anyde,
which has a reputation for stability, so it's stable."
"A-Anyde, you said! It's
expensive, right!"
"Well, it's pricey for the
quality."
"Order such a thing
without permission... This is a big problem!"
Of course, it would be a
problem if we ordered just the engine without any reason.
"Yeah, that's why I used
the B-team budget."
"It's totally misused! Oi, what are you doing as a team leader?"
I used my index finger to
control the president's mouth,
"Please calm down. Indeed,
I used the B team's budget. As the cost of the engine that runs Team B's game,
though."
Kawasegawa nodded.
"I see, the engine used by
the B team has been made into a general-purpose model that can be used by the A
team."
"That's what I mean"
Oh, everyone shouted, but the president rolled his eyes and yelled.
"B-But the cost of usage
and customization would be excessive! So if it doesn't work there, what's the
point... What is this document!"
In the middle of talking, I
thrust a piece of paper at him.
"We have a budget that the
team has cut down on and saved for unforeseen circumstances. We're trying to
make it work for us with a zero margin."
I knew from the start that he
would complain.
That's why I turned the part of
the budget that was floating around to us. This way, we can avoid the B team's
expenses sticking out in the books and causing a deficit.
"No complaints, okay?"
"........."
The president turned his head away in frustration.
In fact, I don't even have a better idea. If we don't use this exit, I can see us all burning to death.
"All right, then we'll
decide on the official response. This was decided in consultation with Producer
Kawasegawa."
Team members roar.
"W-Wait, Hashiba..."
Kawasegawa tried to intervene,
but it didn't matter,
"Just do it. First, you're
in charge of SNS and other official stuff..."
I turned around and saw
Morishita-san's face, who was just there.
"Morishita-san, do it"
"Eh, Eeeh, me?"
The person who was told seemed
more surprised than anyone else.
"Out of all of us, you're
the one who sees things from a bird's eye view, and above all, you're the one
who's closest to the users."
She is serious but also funny
and has a good sense of application. This type of person is better to deal with
than someone who is too rigid.
"Kawasegawa will only check what kind of text you upload only at the beginning. But when you start to get the hang of it, I'll leave it to you."
"I-I got it!"
Morishita-san replied with a
military-like salute.
"Apologize to
Suenomori-san's agency both by phone and email, and promise that you'll make it
known that he's not at all to blame. Also, tell them that the casting of any
new characters to be introduced in the future will be given to you for the time
being."
"Oi! What are you talking
about, giving away casting rights! It's so important..."
"We give it to them because
it's important. If we were to get libel and indemnity instead, that would be a
bigger loss, wouldn't it?"
The other side is also in
business. If we can build a relationship with them in the future, they won't
make unreasonable demands.
"Okay, next... the person
in charge of the script, raise your hand."
The man sitting at the desk in
the back of the room raised his hand fearfully.
"How long does it take to
fine tune, check, etc., the system?"
"Etto... I can't say for
sure, but I'm guessing it'll take about six days, including detailed
verification."
Upon hearing that, the
president jumped in.
"Six days? It's too long,
it's three days, do something about it in three days!"
"Okay, then I'll give you two weeks, so please do something about it."
"Don't say stupid things! Are you insane to stop the service for two weeks ?!"
Ignoring the president's voice,
I continued.
"Let's say 10 business
days, 5 days for adjustments, 3 days for validation, and 2 days for reflection.
How's that?"
"T-That's more than
enough!"
"Then, we’re counting on
you. Then next..."
I ask the director, looking at
the progress chart.
"How many apology stones
do we usually give out?"
"Etto... depending on the
game of course, but for this project, I'd say around 2 or 3 times 10-round
gachas is about right."
"Hmm. Then prepare ten
times that amount."
"T-Ten times?!"
"I-I've never heard of a
game that gives out that many stones! Something like that, just add one more
time!"
The director and the president
jumped in at the same time.
"That's not even enough to
make the news, only the negative aspects will stand out and that's it. The
impact of the response should be enough to make people talk about it."
As the president continued to
rant and rave, I stood in front of all the members,
"And this is the most
important task, so please listen carefully. Listen?"
I could hear them all gulping for air.
When it was as quiet as water,
I,
"I want all the members to
take two days off from today for complete rest. Don't work. You can start
working on Wednesday."
I could see everyone's faces
stunned at once.
Then, as a matter of course,
the president spoke up.
"T-Take a rest?! What do
you mean by taking a day off without doing anything in this emergency!"
"Of course, we'll just do
the first response on SNS. If we suspend the service after that, there will be
no problem."
"Gu, Gugugu..."
With the president at a loss
for words, I,
"That's what you were
thinking, isn't it?"
I told Kawasegawa, and she
nodded silently.
If you put more weight on a
person who is working to the limit, they will either collapse or run away.
So let them rest first. It is
much more efficient and successful to let them think about the next thing after
they have refreshed their minds and bodies.
"If I'd just shut up, you, from a while ago...!"
Finally, the president grabbed
my chest.
"You can't just decide to do
this and that. This is a major project that involves the entire company! Do you
understand that!"
"Because I know it, I
think about it and deal with it properly."
"You don't understand!
Everything you're saying is to the detriment of the company! Look, a company is
supposed to make a profit and gain trust through that..."
As if to interrupt the
president, I shook off his hand that was grabbing my chest.
And,
"President!!!"
I yelled, so loudly that
everyone in the room was surprised.
The entire floor fell silent, and the eyes of everyone there turned to look at me.
Even the shipping staff was
waiting patiently to see what we would do.
"Hie... What is it?"
The president was clearly
flustered but still tried to argue.
I continued in the calmest tone
I could muster.
"You said before that you
trusted me, didn't you?"
"Yeah, I said that. But so what?"
"And, you said this too. It's
also a time when trust as a company is important."
"I said it... I think."
"You said it. The
president is very aware of the importance of trust. That's a very good thing.
And here's the important part."
I took a single breath. And
then,
"Indeed, meeting deadlines
is a form of trust. In that regard, all of us here in development deeply regret
that we were not able to adhere to it."
"R-Right! So at least
provide service as soon as possible."
"But once a major failure
has occurred, regaining trust is not a matter of resuming service quickly. It's
about demonstrating our remorse in a tangible way and taking measures to
prevent a recurrence in the most reliable way possible. "
With patches, the operation is running
every minute between maintenance. There is no way one can play the game
properly under such conditions.
"Right now, the impression
of this game is the worst. That's why we need to do something far better than
what we should, or users won't come back."
The president's face had turned
completely pale.
"...has such a bad
reputation, this game?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so."
The reputation of this game has
unfortunately fallen to the ground.
It is too difficult to regain
the trust that once fell.
But we are going to have to
take on that impossible challenge. To do so, we need to do something different
from the norm.
"Let's be honest and let me
explain. What's happening in this game right now, and how we're going to deal
with it. It's only when you speak without lies that you gain trust. If you lose
trust in the game, you have to gain it back in the game."
That's why the service was
suspended for an unusual period of time, and the items were distributed as
apologies. It's still not enough, though.
"...I once told a big lie."
It was a story I didn't want to
remember.
But I thought it was the only
way to talk about it now.
"In order to finish what I
was working on and to gain their trust, I said a few off-the-cuff things. They
believed me. But after it was completed, everyone scattered. Words without
truth do not lead to trust."
Kawasegawa shut her mouth as she tried to say something.
"The president also apologized for the inevitable bug that occurred in a mobile application you developed a long time ago, didn't you? You could have kept it quiet, but you overcame the objections of the sales staff and said you didn't want to lie to the users."
The president looked surprised,
"Hashiba-kun, that
story..."
"I thought it was amazing.
And by being honest and public about it, the app's credibility went up as a
result. It's a bit similar... don't you think?"
Immediately after the
development crisis became apparent, I visited a former colleague of the
president and asked him about the development of the hit app.
The president was also one of
the many venture entrepreneurs. In the beginning, he just did it because it was
fun. He enjoyed the service together with the users. However, as the company
grew in size, it had to change.
I know the pain of it all. No
matter how far you go, money will always follow you, and the more people you
have, the more money you will have.
"I understand what the
president is saying from your standpoint. But still, in this emergency
situation... Can you please think again about what is important?"
I looked straight at the
president.
"It doesn't have to be all of it. Can't you just look at this side a little?"
To the president, everyone here
must be the person he used to be.
The eyes of every member of the
development team were on him.
The president stared into space
as if remembering something.
And after exhaling one big and
deep breath,
"...Okay. Do what you want."
Then he left the development
room. The members cheered.
"Thank goodness... I think
we can handle this somehow!"
"Let's just prepare for
verification, and when it's done, we'll go, to our home!"
The development team, which had
been in a state of weariness and resignation, quickly came back to life.
"The text for SNS is
ready! Please check it!"
Morishita-san ran into
Kawasegawa's seat.
She has a serious look on her
face as she checks it.
"You'd better get home,
too. Otherwise, what's the point."
"I'll go home without
being told. I really want to take a bath and sink in it."
Sighing heavily,
"...Hashiba"
Kawasegawa turned to me and
smiled.
"Thank you"
"You're welcome"
After confirming that the development
was beginning to function, I left the room and visited the president's office.
The door was left open. I gave
a token knock and entered the room.
"……Thank you very
much"
As soon as I entered, I bowed
my head deeply.
"Yeah, you put me in a situation
where I had to answer."
The president replied, with a
bit of a wry smile.
"Do you want to sit
down?"
"No, I'm fine as is"
The president said, "I
see" and blinked slowly.
"Did you make that
suggestion because you knew I'd lose?"
"No, I honestly didn't
know."
"You're quite a gambler,
aren't you? One wrong move and you could lose your job."
"It wasn't a gamble. That... I was serious, and I just didn't have any other answer."
Fufu, he replied with a bitter smile.
"Are you serious? It must
be strong."
I was able to appeal to him
there because of what I had heard about the development in the past. If I
hadn't heard about that episode, I wouldn't have been able to push through.
The president was also a person
who was standing here after a serious struggle. That's why I was able to fight
too.
I'm going to show my respect to
him for facing me head on.
"In return, I'll make you
a promise."
"Promise... what is
that?"
I slowly opened my mouth to the
president who looked at me curiously.
Part 5
"... That's about getting
you to draw a new character."
Ayaka laughed, ahaha,
and looked up.
"It's been brilliantly
incorporated into the scenario."
"Yes, it installed."
Mystic Clockwork managed to calm the fire down after that. Of course, there was some criticism of the long term maintenance, but some users defended the project by talking about the reasons and plans.
And when the service resumed,
the uncommon number of apology stones and the previously unthinkable lightness
of the system were able to turn the impression around. The quality of the
original materials was good, and the number of new users increased, as if they
would give it a try if it was such a big deal.
But there was one last thing
that was missing in my mind.
That was the new character
creation by Minori Ayaka.
"Please... can you do it?"
A moment of silence followed.
Eventually, she opened her
mouth,
"...I would like to do
that if possible."
The words that came out with a
sigh were negative.
"I tried to think of
various reasons why I couldn't draw."
She was the type of creator who
turned outside stimuli into art.
That's why she has been trying new things one after another. There were activities overseas, live drawings, and even a single analog illustration that took several months to complete.
That is why the lack of stimulation was the biggest pinch for her now that she had risen to the top.
I slowly opened my mouth.
"The reason why Ayaka-san
started to draw. I think there is a hint."
A surprise spread on her face.
"Hashiba-san, is it okay
to talk... that story?"
With those words, I became
convinced of the hypothesis I had formulated.
"The other day when I was
here, you were drawing a picture, right?"
"Yes, it reminded me of
the touch of someone I used to admire..."
"That person's drawing...
I know it well... very well..."
A touch of watercolor. A figure
with a solid presence against a large expanse of background. A moment of
dynamism, as if about to start moving.
The reason why Minori Ayaka
started to draw seriously.
It seemed that I, in this
world, had been keeping this fact from her for a long time. She also seemed to
understand the reason.
I didn't know how it happened
because I didn't remember anything about it. So when I met Ayaka and talked to
her, I didn't understand what she meant, including why she liked me so much.
However, by collecting the scattered pieces and tracing the past of an illustrator named Minori Ayaka, I finally arrived at the right answer.
"This is for you,
Ayaka-san."
She unwrapped the package I had
brought and spread it out in front of her.
"Ah, this is...!"
Ayaka held her mouth in her
hands and stared in amazement at what was spread out in front of her.
"Yes. It's an image visual
for a game I made once called "Haru Sora"."
For me, creating doujin games was a big, too big turning point.
In the process, I forced Shinoaki, the illustrator, to compromise on many things.
However, there was only one
illustration that she had drawn just the way she wanted it.
As the top picture of the site,
this is the image visual that we have been showing since the announcement.
The picture was constructed
with all of the features of hers, both the background and the characters. With
cherry blossom petals flying all around, she depicted the characters from the
game walking around, laughing, angry, and confused, all in accordance with
their personalities and settings.
When I received the finished
version of the illustration from Ayaka, which she said she had drawn after
returning to her original inspiration, I had a very nostalgic feeling. From
there, it wasn't long before I came across Shinoaki's work.
I checked every inch in my PC. I knew that I must have kept it somewhere, because I couldn't throw it away. And my hunch was right.
I stretched the file I found
into a large format and framed it. I wanted to give it to the illustrator, who
had a special attachment to this illustration.
"When I was in high
school, I once thought about quitting drawing."
Ayaka began to talk about her
memories while looking nostalgic at the picture.
"I was praised for my
sketching and my color composition was given the seal of approval to go to art
school. However, my teacher told me that my pictures were just technical skills.
It's not attractive at all. And then I got depressed, and I hated drawing... It
was during that time that I was introduced to Haru Sora by senpai who liked
games."
She raised her eyes and looked
at me. She had innocent eyes.
"I was impressed. An illustration
that has appeal is such an amazing thing. It can move people's hearts in a big
way. And then..."
With a faraway look in her eyes,
"I really felt that I
wanted to draw this kind of picture. And one day... I wanted to work together
with the person who drew this picture."
Ayaka knew about me and
Shinoaki. She also knew how she was doing now. That's why she told me this in
the past tense.
I think it must have been hard for me, who was originally in this world, to look at Shinoaki's pictures. I guess that's why the conversation with Ayaka never went beyond a certain point.
However, due to the coincidence
of my existence being switched, Shinoaki's drawing and she were able to meet
again.
"Thank you very much. This
picture has saved me twice. I will treasure it...... forever."
Ayaka stood up and bowed her
head to my side,
"Please give me a week for
the rough. I can go from line drawing to coloring in a few days. If there are
any differences or such... please email me again."
It was a statement of intent to
raise a new character design.
I also stood up and bowed to
Ayaka.
"Thank you very much,
sensei"
"It tickles me when the
person who encouraged me to draw calls me "sensei"."
Ayaka smiled, looking
embarrassed.
Part 6
Minori Ayaka began to move actively, as if the time that had stopped so far was a lie.
"Ha-Ha-Ha-Hashiba-san, Ayaka-sensei
was called me!"
At the office, I received such
a report from Morishita-san, who was trembling.
"What's she saying?"
"W-Well, she said that she
had made a rough draft of the character and that she would send it to me right
away, and I told her that that's such a waste so I'll come directly to her!"
"Oh, I think it makes her
happy."
After the "meeting"
that day, I had heard many words of trust in Morishita-san from Ayaka.
Some people are happy to
finally be rewarded for it.
"Yes... Thank you very
much, Hashiba-san!"
Morishita-san bowed deeply as
usual, then hefted her bag onto her back.
"A-Anyway, I'll be going!"
She waddled out of the office, muttered
wawawa, and banging her body all over the place again.
"This is okay... I
wonder."
When I saw that figure, I
breathed a sigh of relief.
And she uploaded the design drawing of the new character on the promised date.
The quality was unquestionable,
and it was a significant piece of work for her, as she tried a new style of
drawing while following her past style.
"Ayaka-sensei contacted me and said she'd love to do the next character!"
Overjoyed, Morishita-san
reported to me.
"I see, that's good to
hear."
She hadn't raised a new
illustration for a long time, and this new character was truly a savior for MysClo. As
if the bad reputation of the game at the time of its release was a lie, the
game was flooded with users looking forward to the next development.
"With this, it's a
relief... I wonder?"
"In the meantime, yes. But
now that the expectations have been raised, it's going to be tough."
In fact, it is easier to take
measures from a negative point of view. This is because the original
expectation value is low, so even a small amount of good news will be biased
and turned into a positive.
But from now on, it will be
different. As long as people see that the management there is doing a good job,
even a small negative will be seen as a big deal.
"Don't worry,
Kawasegawa-san has created a very thick manual for this purpose."
Kawasegawa's follow-up response
was as good as expected.
A detailed policy and countermeasures were presented, including detailed changes due to the change in the game engine, points of support for SNS, and future development plans.
"I never thought she'd
bring the president to negotiations."
In addition, we shared the
development plan with Succeedsoft, and they agreed to take the initiative in
creating the development from now on.
According to the president,
Kawasegawa had been in control of the meeting.
"I've made it so you can
run for three years without me, Kawasegawa-san said that."
"As I thought she is
awesome, that girl."
A series of bad circumstances
prevented her from setting the pace, but she had a lot of ability to begin
with, so she wasn't worried about what would happen once she got back on track.
Just then, the 12 o'clock chime
rang. It was lunchtime and the area was noisy.
"Then, let's go for lunch
with that person."
I said, and looked towards her
seat.
"Huh, Hashiba-san didn’t
hear it? It looks like she's leaving from Haneda at 14:00."
"Eh?"
I looked at Kawasegawa's seat.
Her desk was always neat and tidy, but today it stood out. Oddly enough,
nothing had been left on the desk.
She is a person whose sense of responsibility is like walking around with clothes on. She was the type of person who needed to do everything herself, which is why she was confused by the management position.
Even if the manual was made
well, there was a point where she would end up doing it herself. That's
why the process of making it was already planned. But after that, it was
strange.
It will continue without her.
Suddenly go out by plane.
A clean and tidy desk.
"Morishita-san!"
I hurried back to my seat,
grabbed my bag and took off.
"Tell them, I'm taking the
afternoon off!"
"Eh, eeh?"
Before I could hear her reply,
I rolled down the stairs and out.
I stopped a taxi that was just
coming,
"Hurry to the domestic
terminal in Haneda!"
I wonder why I didn't notice.
If I were to intervene at the site where she was working as a supervisor, she would certainly find herself in a difficult position. Even if the president guaranteed her the position, the trust of her subordinates would decline.
Even though it was a decision made by me and Kawasegawa, it was obvious to those who were there that I took the lead.
Indeed, things went well. But I
thought the rest of it would be okay.
She's excellent, she has a good
understanding, so she'll be fine.
But I didn't understand.
It's the opposite. It's
the other way around.
The better she is, the more she
is driven.
I had not learned a single
thing after Tsurayuki. I didn't think about what will happen after we have
moved, and the only solution I could find was just to burn the problem.
In the end, it's all about me.
As long as I look good, I guess that's all that matters.
"What a fool, I
am...!"
I hit the seat with my fist,
over and over again.
I wanted to go to her as soon
as possible.
When I arrived at Terminal 1, I
didn't have time to pick up my change and just rolled into the lobby.
The clock had already struck 13:00. The plane would close the gate half an hour before. It was just barely in time.
I looked at the baggage check
line. But there was no sign of her.
"Kawasegawa, please still
here..."
I walk, I run, I look around
with my eyes.
However, I looked at the seats
and scoured the lobby, but there was no sign of her.
"Kawasegawa...!"
Out of breath, I sit down on
the spot.
I didn't make it in time. She
would probably submit her resignation immediately. Once she did, there would be
no way to make her change her mind.
And then she's going to leave
in front of me. Just like Tsurayuki did.
"Sorry, Sorry……"
I clench my fists on my knees
on the floor.
What is the reason I came to
this world? What is seriousness? How was I supposed to make everyone happy with
such a poor strategy?
I was a person who couldn't
protect anyone at all. I over-interpreted Nanako's words and took them as I saw
fit, and this is the result.
"Uuu... Uu..."
I don't know if it was a cry or a moan, but I felt like I was going to burst out of my throat. This pitiful state of affairs seemed very fitting for the end of the world.
The white-polished floor
reflects my pathetic appearance.
There was a shadow approaching. A
bright red travel cart and a woman in the same color skirt approached me.
A voice came from above me.
"W-Why... is Hashiba
here?"
I turned around, and there was.
"Kawase, gawa..."
The very person I had been
looking for was standing there.
Part 7
I sat down on a bench not far
from the departure lobby and waited for her.
Soon after, she returned with
two cups of coffee.
"Here"
"A-Ah. Thank you..."
I thanked her, took it, and
sipped it.
The bittersweet scent quickly escaped my mouth and into my nose, and I felt relaxed.
"Good grief, don't you
have any idea how to send a RINE or make a phone call ".
"......Sorry"
"Well, I feel bad that I
came out here without telling you, but."
Kawasegawa was really nothing
out of a big deal, just a refreshing vacation.
If it was a coincidence that
she showed unusual behavior, it was also a coincidence that she cleaned up her
desk more than usual.
"There's no way I'm
quitting. It's so pathetic that you turned things around so spectacularly and I
ran away without being able to return the favor. If I don't pay you back and
make you say, "I lose" I won't be able to relax".
I had underestimated her.
Kawasegawa Eiko hadn't changed at all, even as an adult. She hadn't given up on
fighting, and she hadn't given up on the sparks that flew. I guess that one
incident just happened to coincide with a time when she was weak.
In the end, it seems that was me jumping to conclusions.
"Um, what about Okinawa?"
"I changed my mind. I've
canceled it, so it's all good."
"... Sorr"
"You don't have to
apologize, mou."
Kawasegawa was strangely angry. Well, it's not surprising that the mood for refreshment is blown away when a big, misunderstood man comes running at her.
On weekdays, the airport was
full of people on business. Unlike on weekends, it was somewhat hectic and time
seemed to be moving faster.
Both Kawasegawa and I were different in this context. I wore a polo shirt and jeans, and she wore a cutaway, cardigan, and skirt. It had a holiday atmosphere, as if it had been cut out.
As I was thinking about how to
apologize, Kawasegawa said to me.
"Why were you so worried
about it?"
"……That is"
The words stopped.
I was alone in the crowd,
rewinding time.
Ten years ago. I met a great
group of people. I thought, if I can make something with them, I'll do
anything. I moved with all my might. And... I thought I would use my
10-year experience to my advantage.
As a result, I lost one of my
friends. And what awaited me in the future was the sight of me losing my other
friends as well.
"I was scared. Everyone
was gone, and Kawasegawa, too, would be gone."
Kawasegawa's expression hardened.
"Hashiba..."
A look of concern and pity for
me.
"Both Shinoaki and
Tsurayuki... they were so amazing, but when I realized they both stopped being
creators. Nanako also..."
She didn't quit singing, but it
didn't change the fact that her talent was destroyed.
It was all my fault.
In the end, no matter what
happened to the world, I was still the same person who got carried away with
the feeling of being all-powerful and thought I could solve anything. I had
just thought that vandals should at least live quietly and not conflict with
the world, but I still acted in a shallow manner.
"It's all my fault. I
think I'm thinking about others, but in the end, all I think about is myself."
I believed that if I did what
was expected in this world, it would be a recompensation. I thought that
what Nanako had said had affirmed me in no small way.
But that was wrong. The more I
moved, the more someone else lost their place.
What the heck
produce. What the heck be the person who creates the place?
That the result was only the creation of my own comfort zone was really well done, a great future to show off. This epilogue with a happy ending was meant to show me despair to the fullest.
"Yes, you've been saying
that all along. I'm sorry for them, I can't help. When I asked the reason, you always
said it's useless."
"Yeah... That's correct."
After all, it seems that I, who
was here, was thinking the same thing.
And I guess he was just
mumbling his regrets in words only.
"They're all unhappy
because of you. You really think so, don't you."
"...Yeah. It was a mistake
for me to be there."
The silence continued. The guide to Okinawa was finished and the gate was closed.
Kawasegawa stared at the scene.
Then, she gently laid her right hand on my left hand beside her.
"Kawasegawa..."
Our eyes met each other's.
"That's right"
She replied shortly and quickly
picked up the pouch on her left side and held it in her right hand.
And,
"Kawasegawa... Eh?
Gyaa!"
BASHIN!!
With all her might, she smashed
the pouch she was carrying against my back.
"What! What are you
doing!"
"Shut up! You're really
pissing me off!"
Kawasegawa continued to smack
me hard on the back. To be honest, it hurts a lot.
All eyes around us were
completely focused on us. The airport staff was pointing at us and asking if
they should get involved. Some of the customers were even trying to take
pictures of us with their phones.
"S-Stop it, Kawasegawa, d-did
I say something strange?"
"You never said it!"
"Eh......?"
I saw something unbelievable.
Kawasegawa's eyes were moistening.
No, two or three tears had already fallen.
"Everything you do is like
honor student that it makes me feel inferior, and you have nothing to complain
about, you know!!"
"Ka, Kawasegawa..."
"Why, why don't you ask for help? Do you try to do everything by yourself? Does everyone around you seem so unreliable? When you're not sure what to do, don't you think of leaning on someone......?"
Kawasegawa is Ha~a Ha~a,
breathing heavily.
"You can't support
yourself anymore. It was the same at that time. You were chasing the shadow of Tsurayuki
who is gone, all the time, and even wrote your own scenarios even though you weren't
really suited for it. You never thought about finding someone to write. You
didn't think about it at all. You didn't resist Shinoaki's decision to quit
drawing, and you couldn't help Nanako's frustration. But... but!"
She stood up. She glared at me
from above.
"You don't have to take on
that much responsibility for everyone's future! You didn't ask them to do that,
right! Why are you blaming yourself so much and becoming depressed and falling
apart on your own! You said I was useless, why... What makes you think that!"
And then, she showed me her
tear-stained face, with a mixture of anger, sadness, and many other emotions.
"Y-You've always been
really, re-really doing your best. You were always putting yourself aside,
always striving to move someone else, to make someone else create something. When
laughed, we laughed together, and when cried, you cried alone. There's nothing
wrong with that. I'll never, ever forgive anyone who says that. I won't forgive
it!"
Gushi, she sniffed,
"That's why!!"
Kawasegawa grabbed my chest.
"So be confident! Was it a
mistake for you to be here? Of course not. So you're saying it was a mistake
for you to be here now, helping me?"
I shake my head as hard as I
can.
"Isn't that right? You're
amazing! I guarantee it. You're the biggest, most inspiring, most unpredictable
person I've ever met, and I love and admire that about you, so don't be such a
downer!"
I was stunned and just let her
do her thing. Kawasegawa dismissed the onlookers with a quick glare, then
suddenly turned red and let go of my clothes.
"……E-Etto……"
It was unusual for her to be
upset.
As expected, I knew the reason.
At the end of what she said, it
was obvious... That's exactly what it meant.
"U-Um"
I wondered if I should say
something.
Right, as if to distract me
from trying to pay attention,
"...The last two were unnecessary. I take them back."
In a low voice that seemed to
come from the depths of the earth, a request was made to remove it from her
mouth.
"O-Oh..."
As expected, I didn't have the
courage to pursue those two here.
Instead, what came out of my
mouth was,
"Um, so-sorr"
It was a pathetic apology.
Immediately, Kawasegawa's
menacing eyes flew at me. "Apologize? Are you an idiot?" Her gaze was
telling me.
"No, etto..."
That's right, it’s not sorry,
isn't it?
"...Thank you,
Kawasegawa"
I canceled it. The beam
disappeared from her eyes.
I felt really embarrassed, so I
looked away from Kawasegawa. She seemed to be the same, staring at the floor
with a red face.
The coffee was completely cold.
She and I both picked up our cups at the same time and took a sip.
At the same time, we said
"it's lukewarm".
We looked at each other and were both embarrassed again. I wondered what I was doing at my age. In fact, I felt ashamed that I couldn't say anything to her at this point.
"If, If..."
Kawasegawa murmured in a low
voice.
"If I could go back to
that time when you were in suffering, I would have helped you in any way I
could."
It was a small voice. But it
was firmly directed at me.
"But back then, you were...
never asked for my help "
She said with a bitter smile.
"That's not true... Thank
you."
I'm sure I would have been very
happy if I had heard it back then.
There was something about
Kawasegawa that made her seem unreliable. It was because she herself was trying
so hard to be something that she was afraid to step in.
"All right, I'm going to
Okinawa after all "
"Eh?"
"I lied about the
cancellation. I'll ask if I can change my flight, and if I can, I'll take the
next one."
She stood up and stretched, hmm,
"Don't worry, I'll be back."
She said, reaching for the
handle of the cart and grabbing the pouch.
Then, as she was about to walk
away, she suddenly looked back.
"And you said everyone
disappeared because of you, but."
As if I remembered,
"You've made one flower
bloom properly."
"Eh?"
"Minori Ayaka. That girl
started drawing pictures because of the game you made, right."
…… I see.
If I hadn't created the game in
the first place, she wouldn't have taken the path to becoming an illustrator.
It makes sense that she wouldn't have existed as an illustrator in the world I
was originally in because I didn't create the trigger.
She was very grateful to me.
She even told me that I had given her the trigger to start drawing. The truth
is, it was only because of Shinoaki's pictures, but without that game, I would
not have been able to release her pictures to the world at that time.
Just one. It is true that just
one... Was I able to create a great opportunity?
"In the world"
Kawasegawa cut off her words there, and for a moment, her eyes seemed to look into the distance.
"There is nothing in vain,
I'm sure."
She smiled and walked to the
gate with a slightly mischievous smile on her face.
She is so gallant. I kept
watching her dashing back in silence.
Part 8
I didn't feel like going back
to office.
I walked up to the observation
deck of Haneda Airport and watched the flow of planes coming and going.
Perhaps because it was a
weekday, there was no one on the deck.
In the blue sky, colorful
planes landed one after another and flew away. Some of them were probably
carrying Kawasegawa to Okinawa.
A strong wind was blowing from
the sea. With the smell of sand and salt on my face, I decided to find a place
to sit.
Shortly after, I found a bench.
I lightly brushed off the sand and sat down.
"Yoisho..."
The shouting that I would have
never said 10 years ago has become a natural part of this world.
I sat down on a blue bench, the same color as the sky, and watched the plane go by again.
The wind had stopped. Except
for the sound of airplanes flying, it was quiet and still.
Strangely enough, I felt calm.
With a strangely clear head, I reflected on everything that had happened so far.
I was thrown into the world of 2018 with no idea why. While despairing over the future that is the result of misunderstanding and hubris, I am cheered up by Nanako, helped by Shinoaki's pictures, and even saved by Kawasegawa.
Kawasegawa affirmed to me that
I could live. She accepted with all her might the life that I had been denying
for a long time since I came back ten years ago.
I wanted to burst into tears right
there. I don't mean to sound too harsh, but I truly felt that "it was okay
for me to be there".
I thought this world was a
punishment game. I thought it was a bad ending disguised as a happy ending.
However, Kawasegawa's words have blown away that meanness. I knew that I had to
come here, and that this world existed because it was absolutely necessary for
me in the future.
The future me. It will not be
the me of 2018, but the me of 2007.
So, somehow, I had a hunch.
Perhaps this world is about to end. And the next world is probably beckoning me
to open the door.
I don't have any evidence or predictions for the future.
I wondered if this world full
of happiness would soon come to an end ――.
"Hmm?"
Fu, suddenly, I saw someone at the edge of my
vision.
It was a girl. She was a cute
girl with pink hair.
"Who is that......"
I wondered if she had gotten
separated from her parents. When she saw me, she walked straight up to me.
She stood in front of me, and...
The girl approached me, looked
at me and smiled,
She said, in Kansai dialect.
"Yo, Hashiba-kun. How have
you been?"
At that moment, the pieces of
my memory that had not been filled in began to flood into my brain.
"... Keiko-san, it's been
a long time."
I greeted her as if I had known
that would happen.
2 Comments
Thanks for the translation! Nitip jejak
ReplyDeleteFinally found where the anime left off after 3 years. Of course Keiko is a time traveler as I predicted. Thanks for the translation.
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