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Chapter 4 | It was an Undesirable Result | Remake our Life!
Part 1
Upon the announcement of MysClo, Kawasegawa immediately set up a verification team and began scrutinizing the contents of the application.
At an emergency meeting of the Development Department, both Kawasegawa and Kuroda's faces were lifeless and their eyes were vacant, as if they had not slept.
"I'll explain the results of the verification."
Among these she had to explain as a producer, which was too much, even though it was her role.
"First of all, the overall quality of the system, graphics, and scenario are all of a high quality and stable."
Although MysClo was released as a social game, the free parts were very ... No, there were an unusually large number of free parts. The gacha was also large-scale, and it was a style that was excessively oriented to users, so much so that it was said that it was not at a level that was not profitable.
Therefore, the initial reviews were very positive, with nothing to complain about.
"If it's almost free, that alone will get you a high rating. Is that what they were aiming for?"
For the graphics, they recruited the most famous illustrators available in Japan, and placed them not in a gacha, but as characters to be selected at the initial stage of the game. Therefore, it was easy to introduce them on social networking sites, and the fact that the information ban was lifted was enough to fill the timelines with MysClo at once.
"So you're saying that the whole reason they were hiring illustrators and graphics artists for so much money was so they could do this."
The information from Miyamoto-san was solid. But I could not discern their purpose. Now that I think about it, the top-secret project that Liu-san was talking about must have been about MysClo.
The new MysClo had a robust system. The servers were strong from the start, never went down, and provided easy-to-play specifications.
But what shocked me even more than the system or the visuals was the quality of the scenario.
The settings and plots originally left by Tsurayuki were used almost as they were. Moreover, the scenario written by an outside writer based on them was not at the level of "well done," but was clearly interesting and well presented.
"What a mess...... Even when playing it, there are very few points where it gets dull, and it seems like they have a pretty skilled writer writing this thing."
The credits published on the site after the fact mentioned a well-known and popular writer in a way that the writer's name was undisclosed but everyone will think 'probably this person'.
And this point was the element that would cause fatal damage to CloDes, which is currently proceeding.
"I'm going to have to tell Tsurayuki ... some pretty terrible things."
Kuroda said, as if squeezing it out.
The scenario he is currently writing was originally a setting and plot arranged on the basis of the one in MysClo. Of course, he has added wording and some rearrangement, but it will definitely be similar to the currently published scenario of the MysClo.
In fact, the team that was verifying the scenarios reported that they had found more than a dozen scenarios that were almost identical in structure to the event scenario delivered by Tsurayuki. The conclusion was that if both were played, a significant number of users would say they were similar.
"And that includes past relationships. And there will definitely be comparisons."
Kuroda nods at Kawasegawa's words.
"No doubt. Even the parts that we made assuming they would be different will be criticized and a fuss will be made over them, saying, "They are identical"."
Since the project originally originated from a single project, anything that came later would be at an overwhelming disadvantage.
"I didn't expect them to release it first for the purpose of retaliation...And it's top secret."
Considering the overall high quality and speed of development, they must have managed to generate a considerable budget. Furthermore, the robustness of the information management system, which did not allow Miyamoto-san and Kojima-san to obtain any information from outside sources. In both cases, we were completely outwitted.
(Is this what Hachiya was aiming for, by offering such favorable terms...!)
I involuntarily clenched my fists. It was too good to be true that we could just post the credits. No matter how high the quality of the work, it would not escape the slander of being a copycat, and the credit for the "original idea" would be a hindrance to the work.
As I thought, my intuition was right at that point that there was some kind of trap.
"Sorry, it is my mistake ... if I hadn't said at the time that we were going to use MysClo setting."
At my words, which I said as if I was trying to squeeze them out, they both shook their heads.
"It can't be helped, we can't predict that. In fact, we agreed with you."
"Yes, and if we had stuck to the original setting there, I'm sure we would have been stuck with a deadline problem. Put it this way, there was no way out."
They gave me a follow-up, but that doesn't mean that anything is going to change for the better. I will have to wrap my head around this and come up with a solution.
(What should I do about this?)
The more I sorted out the situation, the more I realized that it was too hopeless.
"Does the president know about this?"
Kawasegawa gave a small nod when I asked.
"I went to report it and was told calmly that everything was under control. She asked me to put together a plan to deal with the situation, so for the time being, the project itself is still active."
Everyone sighs deeply.
This announcement, which came after already six months and half of the planned time, had so much impact and shock that it was not easy to imagine countermeasures in a nutshell.
"For now, I'll talk to the staff for a bit."
Kuroda stood up and lightly dusted off his clothes,
"If we're in such a shambles, people are going to be very anxious. Whatever the outcome, let's at least put things right on the front page."
With that, he left the conference room.
"......He's amazing, isn't he."
Kawasegawa muttered, as if it were someone else's problem.
"There's still things we can do. As Kuroda says, if we don't move, everyone else can't do anything, either, so let's talk."
Kawasegawa lightly stopped my words with her hand.
"Kawasegawa?"
"I'm sorry. I understand. I know that if I don't do something, everyone will be in trouble, and that it's not all over yet."
After muttering that much in a quiet, indifferent voice,
"I know, but as expected......"
Her voice was trembling. I knew she was trying hard to hold back her tears, since she had promised not to cry anymore. But I guess she no longer wanted to cry or anything. The despair is too heavy for her mind and body to keep up.
I don't think I can handle it with just a sense of responsibility.
"I will report to Tsurayuki and the others. You should get some rest."
"......I'm sorry."
It was a voice that seemed to disappear. It was so hard to believe that it came from her.
After leaving the conference room, closing the door, and standing in the middle of the empty hallway, I momentarily felt like I was about to scream, but I held back my voice.
I put my hand on the wall and clench it as it were.
Until they crushed Grape's plans and froze MysClo, even though it was a cruel act, I was still convinced that it was the company's policy.
However, what the company and the executive director had just done was a complete act of retaliation that went beyond such considerations. It was completely beyond the scope of what my mind could comprehend.
How could I tell them about this out-of-the-ordinary event? I staggered down the path to my seat, feeling many times farther than usual.
If possible, there would be a big hole somewhere and I would fall into the bottomless darkness. This was the first time I had ever been driven by such a thought, even among the many hardships I had suffered.
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Part 2
I immediately called Shinoaki, N@NA-san, and Tsurayuki. I explained to them what had happened and about what would happen in the future.
Everyone was uniformly shocked, but as for Shinoaki and N@NA-san, they were in agreement that we should not give up and start over again if we could. In terms of their assigned work part, the fact that there were not that many damage may have also affected them in a positive way.
But as for Tsurayuki -- of course, things did not go so easily.
"Can we do meeting and talk for a moment?"
When Tsurayuki told me this, there was no way I could refuse, and I immediately agreed.
Even though the deadline for his new work was approaching, he came to the BCC conference room the same day I contacted him.
He appeared in front of me, who was already waiting, less than 15 minutes before the promised time.
"......Thank you for your hard work."
There was no other way to say it.
His eyebrows are wrinkled and his mouth is tightly knotted. I knew from that look alone that he was clearly different from his usual appearance.
I stood up and led him around, and he quietly dropped his luggage across from me.
Then, at the opening, he put my hands on the desk,
"I'm sorry, when I just pulled the trigger on the new settings...!"
He said and bowed deeply.
"It's not something Tsurayuki should apologize for. If I hadn't suggested we use the previous setup and encouraged you to do so, none of this would have happened."
"No, the reason Kyoya had to make such a suggestion was because I was too slow. It's not your fault, it's all my fault..."
It was hard. I would have rather he had cursed me. But I also knew, painfully, that it was an escape. I thought that he himself might have wanted me to do the same.
"Hey, Kyoya...Creators can't do anything after all."
Tsurayuki murmured softly.
"When I am creating something, I feel like I am the creator of the world. I feel powerful, knowing that what I have created will take shape and have an impact in so many ways. But in times like this, there is really not much we can do. I guess we'll just continue to be called 'sensei' only when it's convenient and then go out and do it..."
There was a gnashing of teeth.
"The company snatched up what we had made, and stirred things up, and when Kyoya managed to find a way around it, they took advantage of the situation and released it to the world as the real thing. They do such a terrible thing, don't they? Compared to that, the Demon King and the Devil would still fight honestly."
Fuuh, he let out a loud breath as if he were dropping something that had possessed him.
"I'm sorry. That's a terrible complaint. There's no point in telling Kyoya about it."
"No, that's..."
I wanted to tell him, "There's nothing to worry about, everything will be fine". What I really wanted to be was someone who could give that kind of relief to the creators. Now, after giving them extreme anxiety and mistrust, I am trying to confront them with realistic decisions.
It wasn't anyone's fault. It was the result of a series of small details, all of which were crushed by the malice of the Executive Director, who tried to overturn them all for the worse.
"Tsurayuki"
It was a terrible thing to say to him as he was still in a state of shock, but as long as the project was still going on, there was still something left to say.
"Can you think with me about how we can start over? If it's difficult, we can just consider what we can think of."
Although the winds have become more severe, game production as a business is still going on.
However, the fact that there is no time left has not changed. Tsurayuki, the main writer, must decide what to do.
For a few moments, there was silence between us. It was clear that there would be no immediate answers.
"-- Let me think about it. I don't think I can give you an answer yet."
With every word, in a certain tone, Tsurayuki said so.
"I understand. But we don't have a lot of time. I think I'm going to have make the deadline. I'll send you an email so you can take a look at it. You can reply in any way you like."
I wanted to burden him as little as possible. Tsurayuki said in a quiet voice, "Okay," bowed to me again, and then left.
"Tsurayuki..."
I got to know the author I admired so much that we could talk to each other in person. Why did something like this happen when I was about to start making something?
"What does it mean to make things?"
I had returned to the beginning.
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Part 3
I sent Tsurayuki an e-mail that night. I tried to be as soft as possible and not to be overly concerned, so as not to cause unnecessary tension.
I decided to give him a one-week deadline and wait for some kind of reply there.
"I wonder if we'll get any kind of positive response......"
Kuroda was somewhat pessimistic. It was a very difficult situation for Tsurayuki, and even if he was able to move forward, it was obvious that he would be at a disadvantage as a creator.
"We're going to have to rebuild the setting and plot, and rewrite the scenario. Even if we are guaranteed the cost of the work that has already been done, we will be doing in less than half the time what should have taken a year."
Reading it out again, I realize how difficult it is.
In the first place, Tsurayuki had struggled and worried so much when creating the initial settings. There is no way I can casually talk to him saying, "Let's just try it for now," and with more suffering than that awaiting him again, I can't go in that way.
"Not only that. The newly created scenario creates an even higher hurdle. Given the reputation of MysClo, which is the subject of comparison, it is naturally assumed that it will exceed that reputation. That's going to be a tough one for Tsurayuki, who has always made things with the user in mind."
Kuroda was right.
If I were to be asked if I would take on this challenge in the same position, I honestly don't think I could.
In order to be motivated to work hard, it is important to have a suitable compensation and environment, but in the current production of CloDes ... I don't think it is possible to guarantee that to the scenario writer.
"I'll wait. Then I'll listen to what Tsurayuki has to say, and—"
The phone rang. It seemed to be the internal line that connected me. When I picked up the phone,
"Hashiba-san, you have a call on line 3. It's from a person named Fujiwara-san from Gakuokan Shobo."
"Gakuokan....."
For a moment, I wondered who it was, but it quickly connected in my mind.
He was Tsurayuki's editor, who had been taking care of him since his debut.
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Part 4
"This is my first time to greet you. I am Fujiwara from Gakoukan."
A calm tone of voice came from the other end of the phone.
He is the person who has worked closely with Kawagoe Kyoichi, the author of the light novel. While he has an eye for calmly assessing the market, he is also a person who has earned tremendous trust for his ability to think of the writer with the utmost care.
Tsurayuki himself had previously told me that he trusted him as much or more than his college classmates.
"I am Hashiba of BCC. I heard about you from Kawagoe-sensei."
I was contacted directly by such a person. I didn't think it was a very good story.
I'm sorry to bother you with this matter. Regarding your company's title, Clockwork Destiny, I heard from Kawagoe-sensei, who is in charge of the main scenario, that you are currently discussing whether or not he will continue to participate in the project."
"Yes, that's right."
I knew it was about that. I held my breath, waiting for the next word.
However, since they took the trouble to contact me in this manner, I assumed that they had some kind of vision or plan in mind. It could also be that they wanted to discuss specifics, such as what they were going to do and when they would be able to write the book.
But.
Such an optimistic expectation could not have come true.
"Regarding that matter, sensei explained to me that it would be difficult for him to continue. I hereby inform you of that fact."
"Eh...!"
I thought, "I knew it," but at the same time I wondered why.
"W-Why, besides, why not simply contact me directly?"
That was what I was concerned about. In the past, Tsurayuki would always have reported to me about this kind of thing. Even though he trusted him, it was not something he would let a substitute tell me.
Fujiwara-san spoke up, sounding a little reluctant to say it,
"He said it was difficult to say this directly from himself. That is why this message is from me. If it is absolutely necessary, I will prepare a new document for you."
"No...way"
I was in shock. Words could not come out of my mouth.
Indeed, when I last met Tsurayuki, he seemed to be in a rather unstable mental state. His strong anger and grief toward various things in the world. After hearing that, it seemed difficult to have a positive reaction, but...
"From Fujiwara-san's point of view, is it difficult for him to continue?"
And a question just in case,
"Yes. The impact on our publications has been felt for quite some time now. For my part, I see this as the last line crossed rather than the reason for all of this."
...... Was it that far? I was speechless.
Fujiwara-san's words continued.
"From your company's perspective, we understand that it would of course be a blow to lose the participation of a key sensei. However, the original agreement was that his participation would not affect our work, while giving priority to the writing of our publications."
Indeed, there was such a statement. I remember when it was being made at Succeed, that is exactly how the contract with Tsurayuki almost ended.
The contract with BCC also included that statement. Of course, I included it in the contract with BCC to reassure them that nothing like that would ever happen again.
But now, even with that clause, the contract with Tsurayuki was about to end.
"As the editor in charge, I have decided that I can no longer overlook his current situation. I would like to follow his wishes."
The words of Fujiwara-san, who was in charge of his work, were calm in tone, yet there was a sense of anger in his words.
That's how it should be. An important writer with whom they have worked together on a novel has been repeatedly mistreated for a single project, and is now being exhausted in an ongoing process. In fact, it would not be surprising if they used stronger words to abuse us and then declared that they were severing ties with us.
"That's all. Is there anything else?"
With those words, I realized that everything was over.
"―No, there is not. We will contact you again regarding the post-processing. We apologize for any inconvenience caused."
I made no defense and hung up the phone after saying so.
"Tsurayuki, so it didn’t work, huh?"
"I see."
Kurota said, as if he guessed the situation from my words.
"Yeah, they said he couldn't tell me himself, so they said instead. I didn't think they were lying."
Kuroda didn't say anything more.
After the phone call, I officially decided that Tsurayuki would step down.
After that, I talked with Fujiwara-san about the staff credits and the timing of the announcement of his resignation, but we decided to delete all the names and only announce his resignation from the board by the manufacturer, not immediately, but in three months when the situation would be over.
Finally, the basic premise of using three platinum generation members, which was the plan in the first place, has been destroyed. I have to tell this to Shinoaki and N@NA-san. Given the premise that the three of them were all together, I had to consider the possibility that two of them might drop out of the project in the future.
It was around this time that I received a call from President Ichikawa.
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Part 5
The president's office at BCC was a very small room, only so large that even a little bit of vocalization would be enough to make it resonate.
Me, Kawasegawa and Kuroda were sitting on the sofa in front of the president, who looked the same as usual.
The president took a quick look around at us and said.
"We have decided to discontinue production of Clockwork Destiny, which is currently in production."
A jolt of electricity seemed to run through the three of us.
"Such a ... We are still trying to figure out what we can do in development. Can the decision wait a little longer?"
" It is true that Kawagoe-sensei's departure was painful, but we are considering how to market the remaining two as the main players and whether we can create a new direction for the project. It is still too early to tell."
Kawasegawa and Kuroda were clinging on as if it was their last hope.
But the president shook her head greatly.
"Then I ask you the other way around, at this stage, can you offer a way for this project to rebound? Can you turn everything around and come up with a solution that is not a compromise?"
The two stood up briskly, but soon became speechless as they were, and sat down again on the couch without any strength.
"...No, I don't."
"Yes. I just think will it end like this? and that's what frustrates me."
The words of the two were trembling.
They must have been really frustrated that they had managed to make it this far and even changed companies to compete, only to have it crushed once again by the hands of that man.
It was something I was prepared for after I informed her that Tsurayuki was stepping down. The brand and sales approach that could only be achieved by all three of them working together was no longer possible, and the image of the game itself was expected to deteriorate further with Tsurayuki's scheduled official announcement that he would be stepping down from the project.
President Ichikawa gave an extremely logical explanation, including such reasons.
"I know you went through a lot of trouble to get them here, but I've decided that if we don't do something about it, it will affect the image of B-Craft itself. Do you understand?"
Having been told that, we had no words to reply.
"What will happen ... to the Development Department in the future?"
Kawasegawa asked,
"Rest assured. We will not fire you just because CloDes is over. You will mainly be assisting in the development of the software we are working on, but as soon as things settle down, you can start working on a new project."
"I understand. Thank you very much."
For a moment, Kawasegawa's expression seemed relieved. That is understandable. She was also responsible for bringing in a number of members who had been working on the development of MysClo. As the head of the department, she must be concerned about whether the staff would continue to be employed.
However, that was just a way to deal with defeat. It was a passive strategy to think of a way to keep everyone from starving, rather than connecting the field to fight.
"As a company, I think we have to give something back to Succeed. But that means no longer making games"
With those words, I felt like something had ended inside me.
We are paid by the company to make games. Therefore, the moment we are told by the company that we are not allowed to make games, everything comes to an end.
That's why I should have been able to predict that this would happen. But I didn't think it was possible and didn't include it in my thinking.
We did not have anything more to say to each other. We saw Ichikawa-san get up and we all left the room together. We did not speak to each other after we left the room until we were on our way to the development department.
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Part 6
Later that day, the development department received a notice about the cancellation of the production of CloDes.
Since it was explained that employment would continue, there was no major confusion, but some staff members demanded explanations from Kawasegawa and Kuroda in a strong tone of voice, reminding us once again that this was not a matter that would be settled so easily.
I sat at my desk and thought about all that had happened.
A lot has happened. The story of how I got into Succeed, my assignment to the 13th department, the launch of Project Grape, and my involvement with MysClo and the Platinum Generation.
There were many hard times that made me think it was over. But I knew that if there was a happy ending in the end, it would be rewarded and become a good memory.
But the result was this. The project that I was trying to make with everyone in the Platinum Generation has really come to an end as of this moment.
"Hashiba-san, I..."
When I turned around, Sakurai-san was standing there.
"Thank you for your hard work. I'm sorry that this happened."
Sakurai-san nodded repeatedly without saying a word. Her eyes were bright red, as if she had cried a lot.
Even though she got involved in the middle of the project, she too had strong feelings for MysClo. And yet, after being repeatedly interfered with, this was the reality that awaited her.
"Today is the day of the regular meeting...What shall we do?"
"I see. It was today."
A gathering of former members of the 13th Department to exchange information.
It was a meeting to make sure everyone was doing well and to discuss any problems in development. But more than half the purpose of holding this meeting has been lost.
(Miyamoto-san must be frustrated...)
The information he had obtained all accurately captured the executive director's plans. If only we had a little more evidence to go on, and the wisdom to guess.
But that's not something that can be said now. That is exactly like a game, you cannot go back in time and start over. All you can do is to optimize what is happening in front of you now.
Even if we will talk about the future, but for now...
"I think I'll talk to the two of them a little later. I'm sure I won't be able to talk about it calmly now."
Sakurai-san nodded.
"Okay. Well then, I'm going to inform everyone that today is cancelled."
Bowing her head, she returns to her seat.
"Ah, Sakurai-san, also that"
I stop her as she is about to walk away.
"There's something I'd like to ask you. Could you help me get ready?"
"Y-Yes..."
"What is it?" Sakurai-san had a quizzical look on her face.
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Part 7
After contacting various places, I left the company alone.
Although it was a little later than the scheduled time, considering that I was in the midst of development, I still got home far too early.
I probably wouldn't have been home this early for a while. I am almost overcome with loneliness in unexpected places.
I left the building and was about to head for the train station when I stopped in my tracks. There was nothing in particular to do at home. I casually looked around ... thinking, "I could go out for a drink or something to kill some time".
"Hi there."
With a friendly, cloudless freshness, I was called out.
It was a familiar voice. And it was a voice I would never forget.
"--It's been a while, Matsuhira-san."
When I turned around, Executive Director Matsuhira was standing there.
"Heh, you don't seem surprised. I was expecting you to roll your eyes more, or grab me out of hatred, or something like that."
"What can I do for you?"
There was not the slightest intention to make small talk. What I saw in front of me was someone I couldn't help but hate, so much so that I wanted to beat him up, as he said.
But I was interested in him. So I wasn't going to walk away quickly myself, and I wanted to know what he was up to.
"Not so much as to have a word with you. Just coming to see what you look like as your rival, is that an inadequate explanation?"
I see, well, I think that's enough reason for this person.
"Would you like to sit there?"
At the end of the finger pointing, there was a little resting area.
The roof is made of glass and shaped like an umbrella. Underneath, there is a wooden bench and a large stone that serves as a desk.
It was a place I didn't usually use, but I just couldn't imagine a tavern or bar as a place to deal with the executive director.
"It's a bleak place. Well, I don't really care where."
Matsuhira sat down on the bench with a giggle.
I followed suit and sat down right in front of him.
As usual, his eyes were lifeless and cloudy. He may have been trying to smile, but his eyes were always dark.
"If you went out of your way to sit down, does that mean you want to talk to me?"
"Yeah, you're right."
When I answered, Matsuhira giggled again.
"You have a strange tastes. After being hurt so much, you still want to talk to me."
"I think I'm a do-M."
"So? What do you want to ask? If the question is, "How long have you been developing MysClo?", can I answer, "Since the day after you left?"?"
Has he been thinking about it and moving on it that long ago?
"That was one of the questions I wanted to ask. Just to confirm, Matsuhira-san, you yourself spearheaded the production of MysClo, didn't you?"
Matsuhira's expression moved slightly.
"Hee~, how did you find out? I didn't put it in the credits, and I had to warn the people who were working on it, but I guess it leaked from China."
"I don't have any information. It's just my hunch."
"Hunch...?"
I continued my questioning without regard to Matsuhira's quizzical glances.
"One more thing. Did you work with Horii-san in the past?"
Matsuhira showed a faintly angry expression.
"Did he blabber that stuff to you?"
"No, this is also a hunch. No matter what I asked Horii-san, he never talked to me about Matsuhira-san."
I had asked Horii-san many questions about Matsuhira before today.
However, he did not tell me anything at all. He told me that if I really wanted to know, I should ask him directly, but he would not answer me.
But this reaction convinced me.
"What are you going to ask me?"
Is he irritated or simply jumping to conclusions? It was hard to gauge with my own eyes, but I could tell that he was taking some kind of interest in this matter.
After seeing that, I opened my mouth.
"I've been thinking about it for a while. Why are you attacking us so much?"
At first, I thought it was a difference in company policy.
Being the executive director, he would want to color the company in his own colors, and in fact he was said to be the next president of the company. So, he thought of tearing us apart when we came up with a project that went against his wishes, and having us work in a different department.
And when the development of MysClo was frozen, I thought it was due to a difference in policy.
So I knew that if I changed the whole company, albeit in a rough way, this time he would lose interest. I thought that if I could just go to a rival company, out of reach, he would naturally leave us alone.
But as it turned out, he showed an unusual degree of persistence and stood in the way of our production, even to the extent of doing things that were clearly unprofitable for the company.
"That's how I figured it out. You don't hate us. It is what we are involved in that you have a strong hatred for."
Matsuhira's expression twitched. Apparently, it was right.
"That's why I confirmed it a while ago. Why did you take the lead in game production, when you had been talking about how trivial it was to make games? Normally, you would have left it to your subordinates, right? There was a reason why you didn't."
Matsuhira's face stiffened. After all, there must be something here that he did not like being probed.
"To destroy CloDes, it was necessary to make MysClo a good work. But to do that, you couldn't just leave it to development after all the competent staff was gone. So you, who knew and hated the game so much, had to take the lead."
I was convinced. This was the answer that Matsuhira had.
"Matsuhira-san, you... used to love the game. But."
"Yes, yes, that's enough talk."
Matsuhira interrupted me by clapping his hands.
"You seem to be good at observing and analyzing various things, but I was intimidated by the fact that you also have the talent to be a detective."
Not responding to the sarcasm, I nodded.
"As I thought, that's how it was."
For a long time, I've been thinking about it.
It is often said that the opposite of hate is not like. If anything, like and hate are quite close to each other.
There must be a reason for such persistence and action. I have been chasing this mystery ever since the project was over.
"Matsuhira-san, will you tell me... Why have you changed so much?"
Matsuhira remains silent. Only his eyes are looking at me.
"I may not be able to help you, but I can listen. Will you tell me the reason why you have not been able to tell anyone?"
I got up from my chair. Stared straight at him.
"Matsuhira-sa......"
"— I'm sorry, I don't think so."
He quietly folded his arms and looked straight at me.
Very ironically, his eyes, which had previously appeared to be clouded over, seemed to have a light in them at this very moment.
However, the words spoken with those eyes defied understanding.
"There was no way I was going to tell you. Did you think I would blabber on about how I came here and what I have been thinking on my own to someone like you, a mere acquaintance from within the company? I wouldn't want that even if I were dead. I would never speak my mind, including to you, who I hate so much that I throw up and cling to the game. Don't get carried away."
It was an indifferent tone, without any intonation, and in a quiet tone.
"I live to destroy everything that has to do with games, and I'll even use games I hate to do it. I don't care what it takes. If I can destroy a game by making a good game, that's the best solution."
Even as he spoke quietly, I could feel his deep, irrepressible anger.
"Quickly disappear before my eyes. I never wanted to meet someone like you."
Matsuhira said that and quietly closed his mouth.
I wonder if I will become like him if I reach the point of despair about the game. I can't even imagine.
However, the person in front of me was me who had taken a different route.
That much I understand.
"I was saved by something you hated."
My life was worn out by a black company, my heart was worn out by part-time jobs, and my dreams were worn out by a bishojo game company that I barely managed to hold on to.
In those helpless days, my salvation was the works produced by the platinum generation.
The girl and the sky drawn by Akishima Shino gave me life.
The cheerful songs sung by N@NA gave me heart.
The sincere story written by Kawagoe Kyoichi gave me a dream.
And I ended up making games with that power. I got a life.
I glared at him. For a moment, it looked like he was frightened.
"So no matter what you do, no matter how much you hate and get in my way."
I really wanted to hit him with these words.
To this person who is trying to take everything away.
"I will never give up making games."
Silence. Matsuhira did not speak, but just stared at me.
"Never give up, huh? After all this"
Kukuku, laughing in the back of his throat, Matsuhira continued.
"So what are you gonna do? You've already lost. You can't predict what I'm going to do, you can't do anything about it, and you've already screwed up your project and your friends. And on top of that, what more can you do?"
From his point of view, he probably thinks he has taken everything from me.
I succeeded in shattering the project that I had managed to hold together by losing the backing of a large company, exhausting the creators I had admired, forcing them to leave the market, and even manipulating public opinion.
But I'll say it anyway.
"It's obvious, isn't it?"
I no longer have to face him.
I said as I turned to my back and started walking.
"I'll make it again. Again and again. I love it more than you hate it. The game, the creation, everything related to it."
I thought I heard a faint click of the tongue. I walked on regardless.
"I praise your guts for not giving up even though you were beaten so badly."
"Thank you very much for that."
"But you're a helpless fool. If you weren't so obsessed with games, I could have treated you better."
I laughed at the sharp parting remark.
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