Part 4
The designated meeting place was in front of the movie theater where we met by chance.
We knew where it was, and we decided it would be easy for him to find.
"I wonder if he'll come"
Nanako was concerned about the phone call we had made earlier.
After waiting slowly for about 10 calls, the call was picked up with no response other than a simple "yes" at first.
I told the person on the phone, who said nothing, the place and time, and hung up the call.
"If he wouldn't have come, he would have said he wouldn't come, I'm sure."
"Yeah, that sounds like him."
At 5:00 pm, as the area gradually turned into an evening scene, we heard a clinking sound behind us as someone stepped on the road.
As I slowly turned around,
"I never thought you would actually call me."
Without any preamble, Tsurayuki appeared.
He had a face that was somewhat hard to describe, whether he was smiling or crying.
"Because I was the only one you asked not to call."
"That's a terrific argument. Well, okay."
I step forward and face him.
Tsurayuki also faced me directly.
Like yesterday, he seemed to be fine, but his eyes were somewhat cold.
"So... Kyouya. What's your business?"
Tsurayuki said quietly.
I don't feel any special emotion there.
'Just finish it quickly', I wonder if he thinks so.
Or ... somewhere along the way, I wonder if he was seeking this scene?
I took a breath. After a moment's pause, I said at once.
"I want Tsurayuki to come back to university. And I want you to make a work with us."
People's voices flowing from the main street could be heard here at a distance.
The area where the cinema is located is very quiet. It is even quieter at this time of the day because it is surrounded by residential areas.
So when we are silent, all sound disappears from here.
That is exactly what was happening right now.
"... I see"
Tsurayuki first let out a single word. Then he looked down and, in a voice that sounded like he was trying to squeeze out,
"I'm sorry, but I can't do it. Could you please go home?"
The conversation with Tsurayuki began with a refusal.
I didn't try to say anything more,
“Can you tell me the reason?”
Yes, I try to fish for information.
Tsurayuki suddenly changed his tone and said,
"You went around Kawagoe with my father, didn't you? How was it?"
He asked me about that. Mochiyuki-san, did you tell Tsurayuki about it?
"It was a nice city. I was given a tour and took in the sights, and it seemed like a very nice place to live."
Tsurayuki nodded,
"Yes, it's a nice town. There are bookstores, clothing stores, hospitals, and everything else you need. As long as you don't complain, you can live even if you become an old man. If you work hard, you can even go to Tokyo, so you don't have to feel the disadvantages of living in the countryside. It's like..."
After he said it, he exhaled as if to spit out a sigh.
"It was like a prison without a cage for me."
A chill ran down my back.
Even we, as strangers, were reminded of how many "eyes" there are in the city. What if it had been someone like Tsurayuki? I am sure that no matter what he did, a detailed report would have been given.
It is a city where people seem to be able to behave freely, but in reality, it is a city that comes with a firm watchful eye.
Although I thought it was a terrible metaphor, I felt that I could be forgiven for saying it if I were Tsurayuki.
"That's why I ran out of the city. But I couldn't stand the life after I was released, so I wanted to be imprisoned. Because jailbreak is a serious crime. They made me promise I would never leave, and finally, I was allowed to stay."
It was a nostalgic, ironic phrase, but the tone was cold.
“I haven't done anything since I came back to Kawagoe. I didn't work, I didn't study. Every day I pulled weeds in the garden, rode my bike out for long trips, and occasionally greeted people at the hospital as my father asked me to do. Nothing changes, nothing surprising."
He crushed the pebbles under his feet with a thud.
"Every day, it's the same thing over and over and over again. It's not about rejection or disgust or anything like that."
Tsurayuki looked at us.
It was a very different face from the one I had once seen on him.
"Nothing. Nothing at all."
The finely crushed pebbles were kicked and scattered in all directions.
"That's why I said it's over. That's the reason, Kyouya."
Another moment of silence passed.
"See you"
Tsurayuki turned and began to walk. Slowly, but without hesitation, he was about to return to his life of nothingness.
"Tsurayuki!"
Nanako's voice stopped Tsurayuki in his tracks for a moment.
But soon he started walking again.
He kept walking and headed toward the main street.
The sound of footsteps moving away. The evening darkness was gradually approaching us.
I could feel my heart beating fast.
I have to move him here. His heart, his passions.
I took a breath. Bigger and stronger than before.
And I said, with all my strength.
"Wrong!"
Tsurayuki stopped.
"Not at all. Tsurayuki is still... still not giving up."
For a few moments, Tsurayuki remained standing there.
After a slow count of ten or so,
"How can you say that... Kyouya?"
Tsurayuki looked back at us.
There's no way you can understand me. That's what he seemed to be saying.
This is the place. I can help Tsurayuki.
And to make Tsurayuki realize that he hasn't given up on creating yet.
“It was here that we first met in Kawagoe, wasn’t it?”
"Yeah. I thought you probably heard it from someone at the hospital."
Yes, I didn't think of anything in particular at the time.
But the fact that I felt a little odd about it at the time has stuck with me.
“Tsurayuki, why... are you still watching movies?”
Tsurayuki's expression seemed slightly distorted.
"Why, you said... it's entertainment. That's the least anyone would do."
I nodded.
"Yes. But Tsurayuki is different. You didn't just come to watch."
Tsurayuki showed a displeased expression. Frustration is on the surface.
"What are you trying to say? Don't waste the time and just say it."
I took out the piece of paper that Nanako had given me from my pocket.
"What is that piece of paper?"
"It's a note. The one with the phone number you gave Nanako."
"Yeah," Tsurayuki replied, not particularly concerned.
"What's wrong with that?"
"Why are you carrying around a notepad?"
"Eh...?"
"Whenever Tsurayuki had something to record in his daily life, it was often typed into the cell phone. So there was no need for you to carry around a memo."
I remembered that Tsurayuki had done so while living in Osaka. I also remember the reason why he did it, because it would be easier to put it in the PC later.
“However, there was a time when Tsurayuki would definitely bring a handwritten note.”
Nanako raises her voice in surprise.
"I see, a movie theater...!"
"Yes, you have to turn off the power before entering the movie theater. So when you write down a scene or point that you liked, you can't type it into your phone."
Tsurayuki made a face as if he had swallowed a bitter bug.
"That's what everyone does."
"No, they won't"
I declared.
“If you are a movie lover or an enthusiast, I can understand. But if Tsurayuki has really given up on everything, you would rather distance yourself from the work.”
I heard a click of the tongue.
"I just don't think that's what people do when they come to see something for entertainment."
Finally, Tsurayuki averted his eyes.
"You wanted something, didn't you? A work that would light a fire. Something to trigger it."
To be honest, I wasn't that sure.
I could have been told that it was just a note. But if, as Nanako said, Tsurayuki was looking for help, was seeking a trigger―.
I thought that he should not have lied to defend himself against this remark of mine.
"It's the same with college."
Tsurayuki, still turning away, became even more upset.
He took a breath, and I could see the edges of his mouth tighten.
"... What are you talking about?"
In a small voice, Tsurayuki makes a desperate defense.
But there is no power left in his voice anymore.
"Don't make me say it. That's what I promised. With that... Enough to know what I'm talking about, right?"
Tsukiyuki looked at us.
“I see... As I thought, you came here knowing that much”
A faint voice. A pessimistic sound, while grasping everything.
"Yeah, that's right."
One step forward. Tsurayuki remained unmoving.
"Knowing that, I saw a slight possibility."
One more step. Tsurayuki is clenching his fist.
I can see that he is breathing heavily.
I could hear his breathing, "Haa haa," even from a little distance away.
"You still have lingering feelings for creation."
Tsurayuki's body trembled.
I swallow my spit. And I'd add more.
“You'll ... admit that, won't you?”
I took one more step forward.
There,
"... It's already late"
Finally, Tsurayuki walked toward us.
"Ever since I came back here, I kept worrying. I kept wondering if this was really okay. But it was too much to fight alone in this city. So I decided to end it."
Another step closer.
"I told my dad that. Now... it's too late."
There, Tsurayuki stopped walking.
Now it was me, approaching him again.
"It's never too late"
"What did you say?"
"If you think it's the wrong decision, then say so. If you want to start over, why not start over? The Rokuonji Tsurayuki I know should have been that kind of guy."
Slowly, I approach Tsurayuki as if to make sure.
"The me you know isn't here anymore."
Tsurayuki said as if he spat out, and lowered his eyes.
"You don't understand. You have no idea how hopeless it is in this city to turn your words against an absolute opponent...!"
In strong words, he expressed his helpless feelings.
His voice sounded frustrated and squeezed.
I looked at his voice, at his expression, and I said,
"I don't know"
"Eh ...?"
Tsurayuki raises his head and gives me a look that says, "What are you talking about?".
"I don't know. Because creation was really important to Tsurayuki, wasn't it? It was irreplaceable, wasn't it? How can you give up something that you have cherished and relied on, even though it is still burning?"
Tsurayuki moved his mouth. But his voice was not heard.
He gritted his teeth, then closed his eyes.
"That's not ... true."
Tsurayuki's voice had turned hoarse and sad.
"I have been in a cage for many, many years since I was born, and the only light I had was my creation. The only place where I could feel alive was in the stories I created. How could I give that up so easily."
He gritted his teeth and shook his head.
Then he looked at me with angry eyes.
"What are you, Kyouya? Despite I have been so depressed and ruined that I am asking you to leave me alone, you won't forgive me and keep pushing me to expose myself, to tell the truth. Why, why would you do such a thing...?"
Tsurayuki gradually lost his angry expression.
He looked sad and bitter. He looked frustrated, regretful, but helpless, as if he had lost control of his emotions.
Finally. Finally, Tsurayuki showed himself.
Next, I'll expose myself. My ego and my purpose. I said,
"That's because I'm a really bad guy, Tsurayuki."
Kuroda's face popped into my head.
I learned many things from him. He taught me what is important as a creator, and what it means to be proud of being a producer.
I don't intend to follow the same path, but I didn't think I was as determined as he was about the way this work should be done.
That's why I thought I needed to be prepared to take Tsurayuki back.
"But there are things only a bad guy can do."
I looked into Tsuyuki's eyes. The fire of vitality seemed to have been lit deep within.
"I came to invite you once again with the intention of swallowing up everything you want to do and your future life. I do not intend to say such kind words as "as a companion" or "as a friend"."
I took a deep breath and continued speaking.
"We need Rokuonji Tsurayuki as a person who creates stories. We don't have enough members to go to the hell of creation."
Smiling, I almost laughed.
"Let's go to hell together, Tsurayuki."
Tsurayuki looked at me, and then glanced at Nanako.
Nanako grinned and gave a thumbs up.
Tsurayuki laughed and said,
"What are you..."
His hands drooped limply.
"You were always so strong, so straight, so totally out of my league, and I don't know how I could ever repay you for looking out for me the whole time, even though I did such a terrible thing to you."
That's not true. It's not like that, Tsurayuki.
I was deathly stupid, making mistakes all the time, doing terrible things to everyone, and thinking I was doing it for everyone else's sake.
But I still like to create, and I even like everyone, so I just came back like this with a big smile on my face.
Tsurayuki, who was struggling alone, making decisions, and then thinking alone again, is much stronger than I am.
"I don't expect a reward, but if you consider that you owe me"
I took a bunch of papers out of my bag.
"I want you to read this"
Then I offer it to Tsurayuki.
"Kyouya, what is this?"
To Tsurayuki who looked puzzled,
"It's a material for the work we're making now. I want you to read it."
"..."
Tsurayuki took a deep breath.
"I'm not saying, "Read it and do what you want". But anyway... read it."
A "story" in which I have aggregated everything that surrounds me.
I decided to give it all to Tsurayuki.
For me, more than anything else I could say or appeal to, this was the only way I could tell Tsurayuki now.
It may be too early for him to decide what he is going to do.
But my true intention was to create a work with Tsurayuki.
"......."
Tsuruyuki was silent. He looked at the stack of papers in my hand, but could not quite accept them. If he accepted it, something would burst inside him. Knowing this, he seemed unable to take the step.
But he eventually slowly reached for it, and,
"...Got it"
Firmly, he received that bundle of papers.
There were no more words from Tsurayuki.
But that was enough for me.
I was convinced that if he read this at the right time, it would set everything in motion.
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