Translated: Sei, MTL-sensei-tachi
Edited: Sei, Grammarly no Danna
Source: Syosetu

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First Love


　After driving the distance from my parents' house to here, I pull over to the shoulder of the road and stop the car.
　We arrived safely at our destination, near my home.

　After taking a breath, I glanced gently sideways at him as he sat in the passenger seat.
　He was sleeping peacefully and looked very comfortable.

　It's strange that when I look at his sleeping face, his usual mature demeanor and scary expression seem so cute like a lie.
　As much as I thought that, I wished he would make me his wife.

　...... Wrong!
　It's not like that!

　I shake my head and think again after I've calmed down.
　Yes, I just didn't want anyone else to see how adorable Tomoki-kun looks in his sleep!

　...... T-This is also wrong!

　With a head full of nothing but crazy thoughts, I mull it over.
　One thing I understood as I glanced sideways at Tomoki-kun from time to time.

　That is my feeling.

　I take another long look at Tomoki-kun's sleeping figure, which still appears to be pleasantly asleep.
　My chest becomes tight and painful, and I hold it down with both hands.

　Unable to stop my overflowing emotions, I whispered, in a faint voice.


"... I like you"


　I know full well that he sleeps soundly, and I know it won't be conveyed to him.
　Still, it was because I had spoken out the feelings I had been pushing deep down in my heart all this time.
　I realized that this feeling of mine was something I could no longer stop.

　Since that day when I drunkenly cried out my weakness.
　The feelings I had for him must have been very special.

　I myself don't know when that changed to a clear love feeling.

　However…….
　Kind, thoughtful, and mature.
　Plus, he is serious and hardworking.
　He never gives up on me and takes good care of me so much that he is always there for me.

　He is always happy to help me, and he gets angry at me for thinking of me.
　He even encouraged me to tell my father how I felt.

　――If there was such a nice boy by my side, age = no boyfriend in my life, I would surely fall in love with him.
　Even though I'm a teacher, I fell in love with a younger student for the first time.

　And he ... I just can't leave him alone.
　When exposed to unreasonableness, do not resent others.
　On the contrary, he reflects on himself, and his fragility worries me so much that I can't leave him alone.

　I love everything about him.　
　――I'm crazy about him, just like a maiden in love.

　...... Will you really take me as your wife?

　I was aware that my face was getting even hotter, but I couldn't stop my childish fantasies.
　I exhaled heavily and then looked at him again.

"... I knew it. He's so cool."

　Looking at his profile, my gaze was naturally drawn to his lips.
　Then ... my heart raced more than ever.

　I wanted to put my lips on his sleeping lips, just like this.

　――I know I shouldn't do that.
　The sight of his lips is so captivating that I can't even think properly.
　My body was not listening to what I was saying.

　I lean over and bring my face close to his.

　As it is, I――.


"... After all, I shouldn't be doing this."　


　I tried to kiss him and stopped.
　I would be so happy if I could kiss him. It would definitely make me happy.

　But I don't know if he would feel the same way.
　Maybe he is saving his first kiss for someone he really likes.
　Then there is no way that I, who have not told Tomoki-kun how I feel, can take his lips without his consent.

　And――since it was my first kiss, I wanted him to ask for it.

　So I took my eyes away from his lips.


"This much is fine, right...?"


　After muttering to myself an excuse.

　I lifted his bangs and kissed him on the forehead.


☆

　Hmm, he moaned, and then he opened his eyelids.
　I have been watching his sleeping face ever since, but I quickly avert my gaze and pretend to be unconcerned.

"... Perhaps we just arrived?"

"...! Y-Yeah. Right! we just arrived and I was trying to wake you up, but you just woke up and startled me."

　I said this because I was embarrassed that he would notice that I had been looking at his sleeping face the whole time I was there.
　Fortunately, he did not seem particularly suspicious.

　He left the car as he was and said he would walk home.
　I wanted to stay with him a little longer, but if I stayed with him any longer ...... I would die of embarrassment.
　I think as I touch my lips with my fingertips.

　Then I said goodbye to him...

"Your face is all red. Are you okay?"

　What a worried look on his face, he asked.
　It must have been illuminated by an interior light, and he noticed.
　Unconsciously, I quickly turned away.

"Are you tired of driving? Are you pushing yourself too hard?"

"I'm not pushing myself, thank you. ... Don't worry so much. I know what caused it."

　Tomoki-kun, who was completely oblivious to my feelings, said in a gentle tone of voice.
　My heart is fluttering again, happy to be cared for.
　...... Nevertheless.
　I don't want him to notice these feelings, but it's really unfair that I'm the only one who feels this throbbing.

"...Then I'll take my leave. Sensei, too, be careful driving."

　He says so and tries to leave.
　I was at a loss.

　It is not whether or not to tell him ...... how I feel.

"Hey, Tomoki-kun. I will continue to rely on you. So..."

　For me, Tomoki-kun is my favorite boy.　
　So I want to rely on him a lot, and I want to be pampered.
　I want to convey this feeling and want it to be accepted.

　I want him to like me as much as I like him.

　…… But before that.
　Because I'm an adult and a teacher.
　Because he's a kid and a student.

"You, too, should consult me about anything that troubles you. ... Okay?"

　I did not want to bother him or disappoint him by selfishly telling him how I felt.

　He said, about me... to such a pathetic, no good, no good I am.
　He told me he was proud of me.
　He made me the adult I wanted to be.

　That made me happy.
　I was so happy that I cried.

　He has never had a trusted adult around him before.
　I think he trusts me wholeheartedly, in large part because I was the first adult to stand by him.

　He must want me to be a trustworthy adult.
　So while he is a student――.

　I wanted to continue to be his proud teacher, even if I had to put a lid on my feelings.

"Yes. ... I'm counting on you. Please continue to count on me."

　Tomoki-kun heard my words and said so with a calm expression on his face.
　I'm so embarrassed when you look at me with those gentle eyes.
　I turn away and say more words before parting.

"Then I'm going home. Good night, Tomoki-kun. ... Have a nice dream."

　I would like to see you again, even in my dreams.
　But if I said, "See you again in the dream," it would be too scary.

　Tomoki-kun saw me off and I drove away.

　Tomoki-kun is no longer in the passenger seat, but that doesn't stop my heart from racing.
　After taking several deep breaths, I calm myself down and then I sort out my feelings.

　―― I chose to be his teacher.
　I have no intention of giving up on this feeling.

　I've never fallen in love with someone like this.


　That time when he is no longer a student, I will definitely――.


　When I find myself thinking that, and I scoff to myself.

　Because I just wished I could be his proud teacher.
　I can't believe I'm now looking forward to him graduating――.

　I'm sure I'm a bad adult.