Translated: Sei, MTL-sensei-tachi
Edited: Sei, Grammarly no Danna

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Prologue | Nothing's Changed | Remake our Life!

    If I could go back to that time.

    It's something we all think about at one time or another, but the delusion is so fleeting and poignant.

    This is because time is irreversible and there is no such thing as going back to the past.

    It is much more meaningful to hope for what is possible in reality.

    ――But still, we can't stop the delusion.

    Because the world that could have happened in the "if" world is irresistibly sweet.

    That's why people are so confused when it comes to making choices.

    With tremendous anxiety and expectation for the future that lies ahead.

◇

    My dreams in Tokyo were shattered, and I ran back to my parents' house in Nara.

    As soon as I returned, I was asked to clean up my room.

    My sister Miyoko, who had married in Tokyo, divorced without my knowledge and is coming back as a single mother. So, she wants to turn my room into her child's room. The brother lost his job and the sister divorced. All together, it's been a rather tumultuous time.

"Well, was it here, this..."

    A cardboard box shoved on a shelf. A notebook in which I wrote down the settings of my fantasy game titles, a sketchbook in which I finished drawing up to five days after taking seriously a thread that said I would get better at it if I drew every day, and the light novels and manga that I was addicted to.

    But I can't find one thing that should be there.

"Hmm? That... where did it go?"

    When I was looking for it, my smartphone rang.

"Huh... it's a phone call. Hello?"

"Ah, onii-chan? When I was sorting through my stuff, I found some of onii-chan’s things mixed in, and I felt bad if you were looking for them, so I called you."

"My? What?"

"Your acceptance letter. You treasured it, didn't you?"

"... Yeah, I was looking for it. If you could bring it to me, that would be great."

"Okay, I'll see you later ~"

    I hung up the call. I lay down on the bed.

"Why did I take the test back then..."

    Ohnaka Art University, Department of Film and Video. For some reason, I applied to this university, which was the home of the director of a national anime series that everyone knows, the setting for the hit manga "Akai Honoo," based on the life of a very famous manga artist, and had produced many creators for the world-famous game maker, Jintendo. This is also the school where those three creators came from.

"I got accepted, didn't I... why?"

    For some reason, I passed. However, I didn't go on to study at the University of the Arts because I was accepted at my first choice, which was a higher rank.

    What if I had gone to art school and become classmates with those three.

"...That's right, if that happens..."

    I imagine myself living my life as a student with them, whom I have never met.

    We talked, discussed, got angry, cried, and laughed about our work.

    We were inspired by each other's creations, and I was inspired by them to make something.

    That's when I stopped fantasizing.

"So what the hell...!"

    My eyes were getting hot, and my vision suddenly blurred.

    Something came all the way up from the back of my nose.

"It's too late."

    It all ended that day 10 years ago.

    The result of chasing my dream with everything half-heartedly is the person I am today. Only a helpless company with a helpless president could pick me up, and that's who I am now.

    The game that was sent out to the world in a half-finished state was my life itself.

"What was my life really..."

    I laugh to myself and close my eyes softly.

    I wish I could go back to that time.


    I was having a dream. It was when I was taking an exam.

    My sister was still in middle school at the time, and we were all excited about the fact that I was going to take the university entrance exam.

    Whenever I received a pass/fail notice in the mail, my sister would wait at the mailbox and bring it straight to me. As if it were her own, she would be disappointed if I failed, and if I passed, she would hold my hand and jump for joy.

    I can hear the sound of going up the stairs.

"Hmm, is she back?"

    The sound made me open my eyes.

    I reached for my smartphone to check the time.

    The door of the room opened to aim at the moment when the lock was released by face recognition.

"Good work, onii-chan! Ah, I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

    This is my sister, Miyoko. I remember she said she had some business.

"No, I was just about to get up."

"Good, then! Here, this"

    She handed me a slightly larger envelope from a pouch she was carrying.

"Do you have any plans today?"

    No, I said,

"I'm glad ~. It's been a long time since I've seen you, and I promised Dad that we'd go out for dinner, so make sure you're ready ~"

"Yeah, okay."

    After roughly deciding on a time to go out, Miyoko went straight downstairs.

    I could faintly hear her talking to her child downstairs. Even though she was divorced and became a single mother, my sister seemed to have a good job and was enjoying her life.

"I've got to do something, too..."

    I got up from the bed and looked around the room again.

    The TV in the room is a standard model, and the game console is a PS3. On the bookshelf, there are a couple of light novels and manga. There are some things that I brought with me when I started living alone, but there are still some things here that bring back old memories.

    They are all from a time when dreams were still dreams.

"I have to see the reality... the reality"

    I smacked myself on both cheeks, trying to wake myself up in two ways.

◇

    Hashiba Kyouya, 28 years old.

    That's my current profile. I don't have anything else to add, and I don't even have a past to boast about. If you remove the minus points, it will naturally be like this.

    I was born and raised in Nara Prefecture, the ancient capital of Japan and the satellite city of Osaka. I was not particularly interested in sports or studying, but I became addicted to video games when I was in elementary school, which led me to dream of entering the video game industry.

    I used to long for, and still long for, the entertainment industry. Among them, the game industry was one that I was particularly attached to, but the reality was not so easy.

    I was rejected at the application stage by many so-called famous companies. The Bishojou Game company that I joined by making connections like a thin thread went bankrupt in a hurry as a result of the president's repeated unrealistic actions. I didn't end up in debt, but I did lose my job.

    I moved out of the apartment I was living in and came back from Saitama to Nara, where my parents live, as if to escape. My father listened to what was going on and gave me comfort, but I couldn't stay here that long.

    I have to find a job.

"What should I do from now on?"

    It's not going to change anything, but I mumble to see the reality.

    Unlike in the past, people in their twenties are now actively changing jobs. That has been somewhat of a relief in the current year of 2016.

    However, speaking of my work history, I didn't have much and I didn't have any skills, so I didn't think I would be able to cross the job change front smoothly.

    I'm more or less confident in my ability to solve difficult situations that I've cleared up, but it remains to be seen how far I'll be able to take it, given the limited nature of the industry.

"Well, let's not limit myself to one industry..."

    In my hand, I found the envelope that Miyoko had given me earlier.

    I quietly opened it, which had already been opened.

    Inside was a slightly thicker sheet of paper, along with some documents.

"You have passed the entrance examination for the XX year, so we notify you."

    It was a letter of acceptance from Oonaka University of Arts, which I had received ten years ago.

    At the time, I was applying to this university with the aim of becoming a creator in the entertainment industry. I was happy to have passed the entrance exam, but in the end, I did not go down that path.

    I was scared. I was afraid that I, a person who had no ability and only longed for something, would enter an art university full of people who had probably been selected, and that I would fall down early.
In the end, I went on to a normal private liberal arts college and graduated after spending four years in a daze.

"I wonder what would have happened, really?"

    I still think about it a little.

    What if I had made the decision to attend that university? If only I had been able to make things with the platinum generation that I still admire.

    But "that's not possible". In fact, I made a different choice and I am in a different place now. I don't think my time with them will ever cross over again.

    There is no point in chasing after a time that exists only in the story.

    Living in reality is what I'm going to do.

"Let's get started little by little..."

    Nothing would happen to me if I stayed at home and just moped around. What I have learned from my little experience in the working world is that happiness does not come to you from the other side.

    Take action, even if it's just a little bit. If I do, there's a chance I'll hit on something.

    I opened the RINE of a friend who lives in Tokyo, and sent a message for the time being.

"I wonder if we can meet next week."

◇

    ...That was last month.

"I'm home... Haa, I'm tired..."

    I took off my shoes and walked into the room,

"Welcome back. You look like you've been beaten up a lot."

    Hayakawa, a friend of mine from college, looked at me with a wry smile.

"Of course I'm going to have this look. It's so bad that I'd rather be in the ice age of employment. I can't get a job at all, and even if I make it to the interview, they look at me like, why are you here."

    Enter the living room while chatting and sit on the sofa by the window.

"It's a popular industry. It's where you want to be"

    Hayakawa stood up, took out two cans of beer from the refrigerator, and threw one towards me. I thanked him and opened the lid. With a whooshing sound, the bubbling beer came pouring out.

"It's been exactly three weeks today"

    As Hayakawa counted the days on his fingers, I nodded and said, "Yeah".

"Sorry, I'm struggling more than I thought I would... It should've been settled sooner."

"It’s fine, don't worry. You can extend it if you want."

    Hayakawa was my classmate at university and my closest friend.

    When I asked for advice on how to find a job in Tokyo and I was penniless, then, he said come here, and I took his offer.

    Not only did he provide me with a place to live, but he also lent me money for the time being, and I was completely unable to repay him.

"Hey, Hashiba. Why don't you give up on that and come work for us."

    Hayakawa said with a serious look on his face.

"Your work history may be like that, but you have a good personality and good judgment. It's true that being an advertiser is hard, but if you can produce good results, your income will increase. I don't think that's a bad thing."

"The part of the work history maybe like that is unnecessary."

    While laughing bitterly, I stare at my hand.

    After graduating from university, Hayakawa got a job at a major advertising agency, and then changed jobs when a senior salesperson he had been taking care of went independent, and now he was working at that company as a core sales employee.

    When I say "sales," I don't mean just hitting a few targets, but rather B to B sales based on solid planning, that is, advertising sales to companies.

    He told me that it was more than half creative, as he had to go into the actual content of the advertisement.

    Yes, it seems worthwhile. It's not a field I'm completely uninterested in.

    Hayakawa seemed to be in a position to speak to HR to some extent, and he even assured me that if I strongly recommended him, I would pass with a high probability. He even said that if I made the right decision, it would be possible for me to have a quick interview with the president.

    It was the best deal ever. I felt that there was no reason to refuse.

    ……However.

"I'm sorry. Just give me one more week"

    I had promised Hayakawa that I would only stay with him for a month.

    Until the very last minute, I had something I wanted to stick to.

"I see. Well, you can think about it until the deadline."

    Hayakawa laughed cheerfully and drank his beer all at once.

    His words and actions were filled with indescribable confidence.

◇

"...Another bad day, this one"

    I sighed and looked up at the sky as I put the information pamphlet away in my bag. In the Shinjuku subcenter, beneath the skyscrapers, many people were passing by. But none of them had anything to do with me.

    I just couldn't give up, so I started looking around for mid-career jobs in the entertainment industry.

    However, as I had no job experience or educational background to rely on, I was naturally struggling. What can you do? It had become a pattern that I sank without a fight before the question.

"It's a crucial moment, isn't it?"

    The words that Hayakawa said to me yesterday are still ringing in my ears.

    It was an unbelievably good deal, considering my current situation. The salary and benefits that were being offered were also obviously good.

    I was so grateful to Hayakawa that I could not help but cry when I thought of him, who had probably gone to great lengths to get the story through to the top.

    In fact, I wonder why I am so obsessed with it.

    I should have stopped chasing my dreams.

    After such a painful experience in the entertainment industry, and with ongoing failures, there is no hope in sight.

    The more I persist in this, the more trouble I will cause my dear friends and relatives.

    Giving up shouldn't be a bad thing.

    There is magic in entertainment. This is a phrase that was mentioned in an interview with a creator that appeared on a website. It is true that there is power in it. It's the kind of magic that makes you want to cling to it even when you know it's not going to happen anymore.

"Six more days. And then really ―― Let's end it."

    I mumbled to myself. If I didn't put it into words like that, I would inevitably get lost in the process.
The streets of Nishi-Shinjuku were strangely quiet compared to those in the east. In the midst of the constant flow of cars and the twinkling lights of the buildings that looked like nightless castles, there was a strange feeling as if only people were left behind.

    I didn't mind being in such a situation. The sensation of being alone in a city landscape created by drawing was like being taken somewhere far away from home.

"Odakyu is... over here, right?"

    It was a bit far from here to Shinjuku station, but I decided to walk to save money. From the Nishi-Shinjuku station area, I walked east along Oume Kaidou and saw a large pedestrian bridge. Under the many layers of the bridge, cars were constantly coming and going.

    I climbed the stairs and looked around from the passage. The destination was divided into the building district on the other side of the river and the downtown area near the station.

    Without hesitation, I tried to walk towards the station,

"Eh?"

    I noticed something that made me stop in my tracks.

"What is that person doing?"

    In the middle of the pedestrian bridge, right above the traffic, a woman in a suit was staring at the scenery in front of her.

    There was no one else on the bridge. The time of day just happened to coincide with a time when there were no people around, like an air pocket, so it was just me and her on the bridge.

    What is her purpose?

    If I had taken a picture with my smartphone, I could still have overlooked it,

"... Isn't that a little dangerous?"

    The way she kept staring at a single point in silence. Her hands were on the parapet, her feet neatly aligned.


    ――Commit suicide.

    The words are not auspicious, but they still come to mind realistically.


"Speak to her... I guess I'll start with that"

    If she said it was just my imagination, I would be happy to hear that. In fact, if something happened to me because I let it go, I would regret it much more.

    I looked down for a moment and thought about what to do. I decided to be as natural as possible and talk to her gently. I decided to do so and raised my head.

    The woman had taken off one of her shoes.

"Whoaaa, stooop!"

    There wasn't a moment to lose.

    I ran all the way to the woman and jumped at her.

    With the dry, dusty air, the night scene in front of me was turned over.


    ――That's why people get very confused in situations where they have to make a choice.
With tremendous anxiety and anticipation for the future that lies ahead.