Translated: reireiss, MTLs-nim 

Edited: reireiss, Grammarly ssi 

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Translator Note:

Just wanted to let you know that sometimes I won't translate calls(?) like 'oppa, hyung, eonni, nuna, etc.' and suffixes like '-ssi, -nim, etc.'

So...... Bear with me, please (/▿＼ )

Thank You!

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Chapter 15 – It's Not My Fault

'We can take it easy today.'

That was the common thought of the crew as soon as they saw Yoon Jay on set.

When an actor is good at acting, the take will be completed quickly, so they can take a break or go home early.

 

"Chairman Baek, you here?"

"How's the farm going?"

 

After watching Yoon Jay's first performance, Director Park Hyun-seung didn't say anything to him and changed the direction of directing.

Instead, he advised him not to overdo it and to ease up a bit for the final scene.

Yoon Jay dutifully fulfilled the request.

'Great, the atmosphere is nice.'

In the scene where he was speaking to the crowd, he could be seen pretending to be a normal person, but on screen, Baek Jinri's face was a little more concentrated.

The Director was impressed. Even though Yoon Jay is polite and crisp, he's a little unapproachable, but he's very natural when it comes to acting smugly to appease the believers, and even though he's slyly acting like that, his eyes are strange.

 

"Is it possible to meet the delivery date?"

"I think we can prepare more."

"Good."

As he walks away, surrounded by his believers, he looks particularly alien. Is it because he's wearing a white suit when everyone else is in black?

Baek Jinri rebuffs the believers's attempts to open the door for him and opens it himself. And the inside of the ‘farm’ unfolds.

"Sweet, haa......"

Flasks, alcohol lamps, and other things you'd expect to see in a school science lab. Farm workers were working hard to manufacture something.

Next to them, a packager cuts open a teddy bear's belly and puts the manufactured drug inside.

Once Baek Jinri was satisfied that the gears he had created were running smoothly, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"This is grace."

The look of ecstasy on Baek Jinri's face was like he was on drugs.

"I...... Chairman, don't you do quality checks?"

"You must be new here, huh?"

"Huh? Ah, yes. That's right."

Bai Jinri stared at the newcomer with his characteristic turned-away gaze.

At this point, Yoon Jay controlled his breathing to maintain the tension. Then, the newcomer stopped breathing on his own.

 

'Uh, when will it end?'

The actor playing the role of the newcomer rolled his eyes and averted his gaze. Somehow, he felt like he had to do this. Something is going to go wrong if he keeps meeting those eyes.

 

Seconds turned into minutes. Baek Jinri exhaled slowly, relaxing the tense atmosphere. He tapped the newcomer on the shoulder with his index finger.

"Why are you so nervous? It's not like I'm going to eat you."

 

But I feel like I'm going to get eaten. The newcomer gulped.

 

"That kind of thing leads people astray."

While running a 'farm' that leads others astray, he strives for purity. Like the white suit Baek Jinri wears, it's a contradictory belief that he'll stay clean while leaving the rest of the world dirty.

"That's why I don't drink or smoke. We should cherish the blessings we have received from God."

Looking at Baek Jinri's eyes in all the shots, he looks more like an addict than anyone else. This line makes the viewer think, 'So, does that mean he is sane?'

 

"Cut! Okay!"

And just like that, another scene is over. No need to monitor this one. The Director didn't hesitate to move on to the next scene.

"Wow...... You did well!"

"Tha-Thank you."

The rookie actor who played the newcomer glanced at Yoon Jay at the manager's praise.

'Didn't they say he's a rookie like me? What kind of acting is that?'

The act of swallowing saliva was indicated in the script.

But when he looked into Baek Jinri's eyes, his vision blurred and he did it spontaneously.

It was a bonus that he broke into a cold sweat that wasn't even in his script. Is this what it takes for a rookie like him to increase the other person's immersion?

'I think I said the lines right......'

But Yoon Jay wasn't satisfied. When Yoon Jay tries to immerse himself, he keeps thinking about the camera.

It's scary, but it's not as scary as he thought it would be. He was confused because he didn't know what he was feeling.

'I can't ask them to do it again.'

The shoot was already planned out. It's an expensive production, and any delay could mean hundreds of millions of dollars in losses.

If the Director has already given the green light and the actor, who has only a few minutes of screen time, says, 'I don't like my performance, can I do it again?', he will be told to stay still and not make trouble.

"Wow. Are we going to shoot like this? Assuming we don’t have a single NG."

"Thank you."

These compliments fall on deaf ears because he is dissatisfied with himself. Yoon Jay laughs at his fellow actors' praise and hangs his head low.

'They did this because I was a rookie worth taking into account.'

My agency is also the production company of this film, so they must be trying to look good. Yoon Jay shrugged it off.

***

'The shooting is coming to an end.'

On the last day of shooting, when Yoon Jay had finished his scene time, Moon Changmin, who played the lead role of <The Garden of Evil>, Kim Yeon-seok, arrived at the set.

As he quietly entered the set, Baek Jinri was waving a baseball bat around like a madman in a historical drama.

'Wow, he really seems like a crazy person.'

Moon Changmin walked up behind the Director and his eyes lit up with interest as he watched Baek Jinri on the monitor.

He could finally see Baek Jinri, whom he had known by name but not in person.

He's steady with his lines, and he's good at acting. Moon Changmin likes him.

"Cut! Okay!"

"He's good."

Director Park Hyun-seung suddenly flinched at the voice behind him.

"Uwaa, Hyung. You here?"

"Is that Baek Jinri?"

"Yes."

He's more than Moon Changmin imagined.

Since he heard Baek Jinri was a cult leader, he thought of an old man, but he was surprised to see such a handsome face.

As soon as Yoon Jay spotted Moon Changmin, he walked over to him with a shuffling step and bowed low.

"Hello, Sunbae -nim. I'm Yoon Jay."

"Finally, I see my enemy. You don't have to greet me so stiffly."

Moon Changmin was simple-minded compared to his influence. There's only one thing he can't stand: an actor who can't act.

As long as the acting is good and doesn't break his immersion, he will look at them favorably, regardless of whether the actor is a newbie or not.

And his first impression of Yoon Jay was naturally good.

"You did a good job. Where did you come from performing a play? What agency are you with?"

"It's Astra. I don't do theater."

"Oh, come to think of it, I think I heard your name, Jay -ssi. You're the guy who Seowon is obsessed with these days, right?"

Moon Changmin is a national actor who holds two titles worth 10 million. And he is a talented actor. He was also close to Lee Seowon, who is known for his ability to find the right projects.

'I was curious when I heard that Lee Seowon was suddenly raising a rookie. So, this is how he sees it?'

Worried that talking too much before shooting would take away from the intended twist, the Director led Moon Changmin elsewhere.

"Okay, Changmin Hyung. Get out of the way. Immerse yourself."

"Huh? Why?"

"We can save the small talk for after the shoot. This is Jay -ssi's first work. It takes a long time to warm up."

In fact, Yoon Jay was deliberately ignoring the camera to warm up, but to other people, it looked like he was getting ready for immersion.

"First work? Really?"

Moon Changmin wanted to say more, but he held back. He needed time for himself to immerse himself anyway.

'So, could he be like that because he was the former cult leader?'

Moon Changmin only saw him for a moment, but with that kind of presence, it's understandable. He uses his body well, and the glimpse of his eyes is really bright.

'Hmm...... But, is the last enemy that will appear still that rookie?'

Moon Changmin was still suspicious.

Is the last enemy that will appear after all the puzzles solved that rookie? But if it's Lee Seowon's agency...... Isn't that possible?

 

'Jay -ssi, there's something I want to tell you.'

 

Director Park felt Moon Changmin's glaring gaze. Is he confused? Good, it's working as intended.

"Jay -ssi."

"Yes."

"Don't be so nervous in front of Changmin -ssi."

The Director patted Yoon Jay on the shoulder.

"You can radiate more than you usually do, right? Like you're going to kill the scene."

"......I'll try."

Up until now, Yoon Jay hadn't been able to imitate even 60% of the terrorists he had referenced. he can radiate more here.

But the camera.

'What's the difference from what I saw in the Fire Brigade?'

Yoon Jay mulled over his confusion for days.

 

When Yoon Jae-hee won the Best Actor award at Cannes, their family was at home.

Director Lee Young-chang came out to accept the award on his behalf, and his father cheered. Although his mother was worried, she was still happy that her son had received the award.

Dingdong.

[Hello. Is this Yoon Jae-hee's house? I'd like to do an interview with him......]

But the peace didn't last long. People's eyes were following me, and my simple self-talk became strangely distorted, even though it wasn't my intention.

[Ah...... He's not as good as I expected.]

[A genius? He's just average.]

People's expectations were weighing on his shoulders.

[Mother, aren’t you putting too much pressure on your son just because he won an award?]

[I'm sorry.]

Disappointed with his inability to do anything, people would scold him outright or take it out on his mother, the manager.

The image of his mother silently biting her lower lip tightly was still clear.

The family feud, his parents' divorce. He and his mother came to the United States and struggled.

Young Yoon Jae-hee felt like it was all his fault. He blamed himself for a long time before he came back to Korea.

 

"Kim Yeon-seok is on standby, right? So, let's get started."

 

Yoon Jay moved to the United States, where his life took many twists and turns.

There were worse things than phobia and trauma in his life. He thought he was okay because it was covered by other mental exhaustion, but it was just PTSD added, and he was still scared of cameras.

But he has changed since he came to Korea. Why did it change? As he thought about it, he realized there was only one answer.

[It's not your fault, it's all my fault.]

He had been blaming himself for all this time, saying it was his fault. But now, he needed a reminder that it wasn't his fault.

I see. The moment I heard my father's last words, I forgave myself. That's why it didn't scare me anymore.

 

Take a good look.

Those aren't 'eyes' anymore.

As soon as I realized that, my surroundings changed. The 'eyes' that I had deliberately excluded were now just a camera.

It took me a while to realize it, but the unpleasant rush of emotion I felt every time I looked at the camera wasn't fear and dread.

I mistook it because I was emotionally overwhelmed by the joy and catharsis of finally being free from my phobia.

 

"......Haha!"

 

Yoon Jay, who had been waiting for the action sign, raised his head to the sky and laughed out loud.

I finally feel like I'm home. It's funny. This shooting scene, and this situation where I can act again.

 

"Well, well."

 

I suddenly burst out laughing, isn't that a real cult leader? The gazes of some of the staff, already mesmerized by Yoon Jay's acting, focus on me.

'Not yet.'

I'm going to incorporate this feeling into 'Baek Jinri'. The Director's action sign drops and Yoon Jay stares at Kim Yeon-seok.

 

"Hello?"

 

The line itself was ordinary. However, by mixing the sense of freedom of finally being able to act properly with acting that imitates the 'real evil' that tortured Yoon Jay, a decidedly different atmosphere was released from the previous shooting.

 

"......"

 

Moon Changmin gulped.

There was a theory about the uncanny valley, that when humans see something that resembles humans, such as robots, they feel rather uncomfortable.

'Fu#king crazy.'

The Baek Jinri in front of him was the uncanny valley itself.

Moon Changmin lowered his head, forgetting to say his lines. It was a look in Yoon Jay's eyes that was so unpleasant that it was difficult for him to look at it for a long time.

'No way......'

'Oh, my God.'

The staff was dumbfounded and waited for the Director's signature. Shouldn't we stop it?

"......Let's try again!"

The Director shouted afterward, but even he looked incredulous.

The lead actor, Moon Changmin, made an NG. A national actor who holds two titles worth 10 million and is the first choice for casting, he lost to a rookie whose first work is this.

'Wow, Moon Changmin was defeated in a fight? It's fu#king crazy.'

The Director blinked. He told him to kill the scene, and he did.

He has to call Lee Seowon after this shoot. He can't even imagine what I saw, right?


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