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Chapter 2
Knock,
knock, knock.
I
heard a knock and I immediately stopped to think about what happened in the
past. It was Alexander's habit not to stop knocking after knocking twice, he
would definitely knock again.
"May
I come in?"
"Of
course."
As
soon as I answered, the door immediately opened. Wearing dark clothes, today he
returned to wearing a dark blue shirt. Alexander's white face was clearly
visible in the dark room –where not a single candle was lit in this room.
"You
didn't light a candle?"
He
asked. I immediately opened the curtains without saying anything. The dim
moonlight came in and things that were barely visible were now visible.
"I
still can't believe it. It feels like only yesterday I saw my Mother and Father
leave with a smile."
Alexander's
body lines that stick to his clothes are visible. It was a shirt that was
neatly buttoned up to the neck, but for some reason, the neck was slightly
loose, and the shoulders were slightly stiff as if he was tense.
"You
drink?"
"Can't
I do it?"
"As
far as I know, you're still a minor."
"Don't
get me wrong. Take a good look at me."
Not
that I don't understand. Sometimes I will also drink alc*hol before bed. I also
still can't believe such a shocking reality, so I guess I can only sleep when
I'm drunk.
"I
can't even cry. I want to cry, but I don't know if I really want to cry or
not."
I
looked out the window with my hand gripping the curtain tightly. Snowflakes
fell as if they had split the clouds in the middle of winter.
"It's
an area where horse-drawn carriage crashes are common. I told them to leave in
the spring when the snow has melted."
"...I'm sorry."
"Why
are you apologizing?"
How
could he easily ask such a question with such a voice? When I turned to look at
him, I flinched because Alexander was right behind me. The distance between him
and me is very close.
"My
mother insisted on leaving immediately."
I
replied calmly, erasing my surprise.
"She's
also 'my mother.' So you don't have to apologize."
When
we first met, Alexander was cold and blunt as ice. So I guessed that he and I
could never be siblings forever. Even so, once that suspicion was shattered,
precisely when Alexander greeted my mother and me quite well.
When
we get together like a family, he always smiles and starts the conversation
first. Even so, he never once spoke to me, whenever it was just the two of us
left in a room, we would definitely try to avoid each other.
"I
just came to see if you were crying. You look better than I thought. Thank
goodness. No, I'm grateful."
Alexander
brushed his hand over his chin and looked at me in surprise. Those sharp
silvery gray eyes narrowed as if trying to look inside me.
"I'm
not fine."
"What?"
When
I whispered softly, he tilted his head like he didn't understand. He was standing
so close to me, I thought I could smell his scent mixed with the smell of
alc*hol and soap. I let go of the curtain I was holding.
"...Not
fine. Maybe on the outside, I look fine."
I
can still feel his gaze. By accident, our eyes met, and we immediately looked
away. Then at the same time, we looked back at each other. "It's a bit, I
want to be alone. …It's late at night."
I
tapped on the window with my fingertip. Alexander nodded and he looked up at
the full moon and the countless stars that filled the night sky.
"…Oh,
yeah. Sorry."
Finally,
he took a step back. He staggered a little, it seemed he was starting to feel
drunk. I immediately buried my face in the bed as soon as Alexander left
without saying goodnight. I was so dazed that I couldn't even feel the softness
of the blanket.
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