Translated: Sei, MTL-sensei-tachi
Edited: Sei, Grammarly no Danna
Source: Syosetu

Support us on Ko-Fi to make this translation and the translators keep alive. Thank you

Escape


　The girlfriend Yuu-kun had was a girl I knew well.
　She is Haruma's younger sister, Touka-chan, who is also a childhood friend of mine.

　She is cheerful, friendly, lovely, talkative, and stylish... As a girl, I don't think I can win anything.

　I am sure that all boys would choose Touka-chan, with whom they can have fun chatting, over a girl like me who is too nervous to talk to.

　My heart always tightened when I saw Yuu-kun and Touka-chan getting along with each other.
　It's painful, it's hard, it's a mess in my head, and I feel like I'm going to cry.

　I wondered why it wasn't me who was next to Yuu-kun.
　Even though I fell in love with Yuu-kun before Touka-chan did.
　I like Yuu-kun much more than Touka-chan.

　Why can't I be next to him?

　...... The reason for this was obvious.

　Even though I must have regretted it so much when I was in middle school.
　It was my own fault for not taking any action until he finally had a girlfriend.

　Yuu-kun, who is much cooler than the celebrities on TV, and Touka-chan, who is very cute, are a perfect match in my eyes.
　...... There seemed to be no room at all to get in between.

　――But still.
　I know I deserved it.
　It's too late now, I understand.
　...... My reason was appealing to Yuu-kun, who had a girlfriend, in a corner of my head telling me that it was a nuisance.

　I couldn't give up on Yuu-kun――


『D-Does it matters who she is as long as she's cute? Even if it's not Touka-chan, it's okay... is that right?』


『A-Are the two of you in a proper and healthy relationship... I'll be the judge of that!』


　I asked Haruma to help me and investigate their relationship up close and personal.

　…… As a result, I knew they cared about each other.
　It was heartbreaking, painful, and only made me sad.


　I had to admit that I was, definitively, heartbroken.


　...... Then at least.
　Just like the old days.
I wanted to be friends and get along with him as friends, just like when we were "Yuu-kun" and "Natsuo".

　So, I gathered my courage and told him.

『I'm sorry! ...... Please start as friends!』

　When Touka-chan's name came up during my exchange with him, I thought just fine.

　It was Touka-chan who had been at odds with me for a while, but she was the girl Yuu-kun fell in love with.
　I wanted to be able to make up with her and support them both wholeheartedly.

　In this way, "Tomoki Yuji" and "Hasaki Kana" became friends.

　I was really happy to be able to stand next to him as a friend.
　I've always wanted to have him laugh with me like this.

　But I can't help but notice it when we have a conversation.

　Yuu-kun really cares about Touka-chan.
　Every time I notice it, it makes me bitter and lonely.
　I thought I was prepared for this, but I just couldn't stay calm.

　Will these feelings eventually fade away and I will be able to stand next to him as just a friend?
　I didn't know.

　However.

『...Long time no see, how are you? If you don't mind, can we exchange contact information? 』

　Yuu-kun remembered "Natsuo" well.
　Even now, I'm sure.
　I am a liar who could not fulfill my promise, and yet he considers me a friend.

　...... When I heard that, I thought, "I have to do my best".
　I had to be a good friend.
　I thought so.


　But then something unexpected happened.

"My first friend's ...... name is "Natsuo"."

　At his words, Haruma and Touka-chan, who were studying together, looked at me with astonishment.
　They both knew that I used to go back to the countryside every summer vacation, and if Yuu-kun told them about the characteristics of "Natsuo", they would immediately connect me with that boy who was Yuu-kun's best friend.

　Their gazes hurt.
　Before things get rough, I ran away and left for the day.


　☆


"You are Natsuo, right?"

　A few days after I ran away from Yuu-kun.
　Touka-chan, who came to my house for the first time in a few years, asked me so.

"I-I don't know about what you're talking about..."

"Don't play dumb"

　Touka-chan's words were strong.

"...I don't know how you feel about it. But senpai wants to meet "Natsuo". That's why"

　Touka-chan breaks off her words and bows her head toward me before saying.

"Please explain that properly to senpai."

　To me who was shocked and couldn't answer anything,

"I don't know if I can forgive you for lying to senpai. But Yuuji-senpai still wants to meet and talk with his friend "Natsuo" again. That's why... "

　Touka raises her head and looks straight at me.
　I thought ...... she changed without me knowing it.

　The exterior was much better, but her true feelings were selfish and she was strong.
　It was a surprise to me that this Touka-chan would bow her head and make a request for someone other than herself.
　Touka-chan has changed like this, no doubt thanks to Yuu-kun.
　When I thought of this, my chest tightened.

　Holding back the pain in my chest, I looked at her.
　Touka-chan's expression when she thinks of her lover is very dignified ――.
　She was so beautiful that any nice girl could not compete with her.

"...Yeah, I got it."

　At my words, Touka's face lit up.

"But I have one request. I want you two to come to my tennis match and cheer on me."

　I guess it is a ritual to say goodbye to the unresolved feelings.
　I am sure Touka-chan didn't understand what it meant.
　And yet, she nodded at my words and then,

"Okay. But you should be the one to ask him."

　She said quietly.
　I nodded at her words.


　I think this is good.
　This time, I'm going to say goodbye to my first love.


☆

　But it didn't turn out so well.
　In the end, I was so preoccupied with Yuu-kun and Touka-chan that I could not concentrate at all on the game and made a series of mistakes that I would not normally make.
　I lost ungracefully.

　It was pathetic.
　I wanted to disappear and be gone.

　In the end I could not give up my feelings for Yuu-kun at all, and as a tennis player, I was disrespectful to my opponents.

　I thought I was the worst.
　Both love and tennis are half-hearted.
　I can't do anything, and I'm not ready to give up anything.

　I am really helpless and pathetic...

　At that time when I was alone, troubled and suffering.





"Yo"





　A hero has appeared.

　I was happy.
　That he came to me when I was in trouble.
　To be there for me when I am at a loss.

　Seeing him speak so clumsily, I couldn't suppress my feelings of love for him.
　And... why did he become Touka-chan's lover instead of me? I thought.
　I had become mentally weak, and I even felt like I was taking it out on him.

　I boldly told him about my heartbreak.




"You don't have to force yourself to give up, and if anything, you should confess as many times as you like until you can give up once and for all, to see if you can succeed?"



　...... I had to blur it somewhat, so he was terribly misunderstood, though.
　This is awful.
　I shelved myself, I thought.


　...... It was a terrible word, though.
　I soon realized that he was trying very hard to convey his concern for me.
　To have my beloved Yuu-kun think of me like that, and to have him tell me his words.
　I know he is misunderstanding me, and I know I am interpreting it in my favor, but.

　Nevertheless.


"Mou~, Don't be discouraged. I'm blown away by this!"

　It blew up.
　No matter even if anyone thinks I am a bad girl or Touka-chan thinks I am a terrible woman.


　This feeling that I have been holding for nearly 10 years.


　Because I can't give up ――.
　I'm already.
　I gave up on giving up.


"Then it was good."

　At my words, Yuu-kun looked a bit bothered.
　The childish expression on Yuu-kun's face, which had become mature and cool, was very cute.
　... And somewhat nostalgic.

"Yeah, thank you"

　I naturally felt his gentleness,

"Thanks to Yuu-kun, I feel better."

　Without thinking I thanked him.

　Soon after that, a stunned Yuu-kun,

"――Eh?"

　I realized my mistake when I saw him muttering.



"... Natsuo?"



　The look on his face as if to say, "Unbelievable".
　He himself is doubtful, and I'm sure he's not convinced that I'm Natsuo yet, but...

　Still, this is the only time I can confess that I am "Natsuo".

　…… But I can't say it.
　Just a few minutes ago, I had just made up my mind not to give up on this love thing, and I had no idea that I was going to confess my love as "Natsuo".

　So many things swirling around in my head, worrying, conflicting... I lost understanding.

　I turned my gaze away from him, who was looking at me as if he were clinging.


　I stood up in front of Yuu-kun, who was waiting for my answer with a stunned expression, and then I ――.


　Without being able to answer any of the questions, I ran out of the place.

　I was running away from Yuu-kun.