Suddenly I Became a Princess Volume 3 Chapter 10

Translated: reireiss, MTLs-nim 

Edited: reireiss, Grammarly ssi 

Support us on Ko-Fi or Patreon to keep this translation and the translators alive. 

Don't forget to leave a message that you support this novel by writing the title when tipping. 

Thanks^ ^ 

***

PLEASE!!

DON'T SHARE OR REPOST!!

***

Translator Note:

This is a long long long chapter.

So...... Bear with me, please (/▿＼ )

Thank You!

***

Chapter 10 – Nightmare

Claude was unconscious, and only opened his eyes after 10 days.

Hearing the news, the Palace became chaotic. Of course, the fact that the Emperor's life was at stake was a top secret that only a few people knew about. But even so, it was impossible to hide the news completely. Moreover, it wasn't just 1 or 2 girls who were invited to my Tea Party at that time, so no matter how hard the news was hidden, it still couldn't be hidden completely. However, Claude and I woke up on the same day and we looked better than expected, so things were unusual for the Palace right now.

"Princess, why are you still not asleep?"

And I myself, I still don't fully realize everything that has happened to me now.

"You need to rest to heal. Let's go to sleep."

"What about Daddy?"

I asked Lily who had just entered my room, I asked something that made me curious. However, Lily kept her mouth shut at my question. The look on her face when she looked at me was something I couldn't easily describe. However, since it hasn't been 1 or 2 days since I asked about Claude's condition, Lily quickly answered while skillfully hiding her facial expression.

"His Majesty is also resting in his bed. Princess, you should rest too. That way, you will get better faster."

And just like usual, Lily has always answered my questions with that answer for the past week. Therefore, most likely, it would be an answer that would not change —no matter how many times I asked. I pretended to accept Lily's answer and went back to my bed.

"I'll bring you hot tea right away. If you're cold, you should tell me right away."

"Yes."

She made sure I was comfortably in my bed before leaving the room.

Ever since I fainted at the Tea Party, Lily had become more protective of me than before. Of course, I've heard that my condition is quite serious. However, now I don't feel too sick. After all, in terms of pain, Claude was far worse than me…

"……"

Sruk.

I was silent for a moment, then I pulled the blanket covering my body up to my nose. In fact, for the past week, I haven't seen Claude once. The events that recently occurred flashed back to my mind.

***

"Who are you?"

When I heard it for the first time, I couldn't believe my ears. What did this person just say to me? Maybe I just heard wrong? Isn’t it? But, just thinking like that makes me experience a mental breakdown. Moreover, right now Claude is looking at me with a gaze so cold that I can't do anything.

"I asked, who are you? Keuuhhh……"

But instead he asked the same thing once again and tried to get up from his position. However, as soon as Claude lifted his upper body from the bed, he suddenly clutched his chest and groaned. Because of that, I forgot what he said earlier.

"No! Don't suddenly move like that."

I immediately grabbed his arm and stopped him. He was trying to move his body recklessly even though he hadn't eaten anything all this time! He was a person who had just awakened from death's door!

Just at that moment, Claude's eyes fell on my hand which was touching his arm. Immediately, he screamed.

"Felix!"

Claude called Felix.

Oh, right! Since Claude is awake, I should call Felix and Lily to come in! And I also have to ask the Imperial Doctor to come too. I'm glad Claude looks better than I thought, but I have a strange feeling… Wait. Come to think of it, didn't he say something unreasonable just now? Earlier he asked who I was.

"Your Majesty?"

As usual, Felix immediately appeared when Claude called him. He opened the door suddenly and looked very surprised when he saw Claude who had woken up after being unconscious for days. Well, I thought Felix was surprised, didn't Felix look very sad because Claude never regained consciousness?

"Your Majesty!"

Felix, who was still standing at the door, didn't seem to believe it, he immediately jumped towards Claude with a calm expression.

Ahemm… Of course, he felt happy. But, I didn't expect that he immediately rushed to Claude's bed and knelt in front of Claude and hugged Claude's legs.

"Oh my, you're awake! I'm so happy!"

He had an expression that seemed like he was holding back tears on his face, looking like he could cry at any moment. Lily who came in after, had a surprised expression and immediately covered her mouth.

"What's wrong? Your reaction is like I just woke up after sleeping for 10 years."

On the other hand, Claude looked at them as if they had all gone crazy. Hearing those words, Felix looked at Claude irritably —as if he thought that Claude was joking. However, Claude narrowed his eyebrows as if he couldn't understand Felix's reaction. Gradually, I started to feel an unpleasant feeling.

"Today your face looks strange. Why do you look so old just overnight?"

"You're too much! Who do you think I became like this because I was worried about you? And it's not been a day. It's been 10 days since you lost consciousness."

"What?"

Hearing those words, Claude's face immediately wrinkled. He looked into Felix's eyes, not knowing whether Felix was joking with him or whether Felix had lost his sanity. But, of course Felix was serious, and even Lily who was standing behind Felix nodded with a tear-stained face. However, only Claude had an expression as if he didn't understand the current situation at all.

Since earlier, I've been staring at Claude's face while holding my breath. An unexplainable feeling of unease began to creep up my spine, gnawing at my insides.

Claude was silent for a moment, then immediately looked at Felix's face as if trying to find out what was going on.

"I'll listen to that sh!t later."

However, Claude clicked his tongue and changed the topic, probably thinking that he wouldn't be able to hear a proper explanation from Felix who was currently crying. And finally, he turned to me who was right next to him.

"Who allowed other people to enter my bedroom?"

Immediately, his cold voice cut through the air here.

"Ah, I’m sorry. I didn't think about your wishes, Your Majesty."

Only then did Felix seem to realize that Claude felt uncomfortable. He saw Claude and followed Claude's gaze, then immediately apologized as soon as he saw me. Maybe he was interpreting what Claude had just said, 'Athanasia must have been worried when she saw me lying unconscious, so why did you let her in here?'. That seems to be what Felix thought.

But I could see that that wasn't what Claude's words meant. Because right now, Claude was looking at me with a cold gaze —like the cold water at the deepest end of the sea. When I saw him, I subconsciously withdrew my hand which had been holding Claude's arm for a long time.

"What are you talking about? If she was a murderer, then her body would have been dismembered the moment she entered this room."

Maybe my current expression is similar to Claude's previous expression. I didn't understand what he was saying, so I just stared at him like an idiot.

Oh no. I never thought that after this guy opened his eyes, he and I would turn over a new page that couldn't be looked at without tears, but…… Isn't this genre very different? It seemed like this was beyond the range of normal responses one could think of.

"Who is it? Who is the person who let that pale-looking little girl into my room?"

I'm not the only person who can't understand what Claude is talking about. Felix and Lily fell silent without saying anything with their eyes wide open.

"Old Raccoon of Montberg? Or that Crazy Rachel? I don't know who it is, but it's going well. Get those scum to come here and make them tell me the truth. Then, with special mercy, I'll behead them."

Claude continued to speak bitterly. Felix also asked him with a confused face, he sneered darkly as if everything Claude said wasn't funny.

"Your Majesty, what do you mean?"

"Are you asking because you don't know? This girl next to me."

What Claude was pointing at with his chin was, without a doubt, 'me'.

"D-Do you mean Princess?"

"Princess? Princess of which country? How dare she crawl into my room without fear."

It was at that moment, everyone except Claude froze in a daze.

"You think I won't kill you because you are the Princess of another country?"

Surprisingly, he actually thought of me as someone he had never seen before. This unbelievable fact left me speechless.

 

'Who are you?'

 

The words he said to me the first time he opened his eyes started repeating in my head like an echo.

"Your Majesty, can't you recognize the face of the Princess?"

"Are you that girl's maid?"

He even spoke as if he didn't recognize Lily's face. Lily, who asked Claude, was silent with a dumbfounded face. Then, this time, Felix screamed in disbelief.

"Your Majesty! Think carefully. Isn't Princess Athanasia your only flesh and blood? Maybe it's because you just woke up, so your memory is temporarily disturbed……"

"Felix, are you crazy? Since when did I have flesh and blood like that!"

But Claude instead asked Felix, he frowned —thinking that Felix had gone crazy.

I looked at Claude worriedly. No, it's good that people who have wandered between life and death have now opened their eyes, but what kind of nonsense is this? Lily and Felix, they looked very serious with surprised faces. But I'm still confused, maybe because the current situation doesn't feel real.

What? You don't remember me? No, does this make sense? Ah… Is this a coincidence?

"Is this a hidden camera?"

"Hm?"

Hearing my stupid words, Felix and Lily turned to me as if they were asking what I was talking about. No, that's not true, right? Are you trying to prank me by making fun of me? Claude, who had been unconscious all this time, immediately woke up as soon as I came here. And as soon as he opened his eyes, he said something stupid. Yes, that's ridiculous. I can't believe that this guy almost died while trying to save me from a rampaging magic power.

"You're all joking, right? This isn't funny."

I said that and looked back at Claude. I stretched out my hand which was still half raised on the edge of the bed. What is this? What kind of bad joke is this? For a moment, I thought it was real, I was shocked and felt as if my heart was going to fall out. Ah, but I'm happy because this is just a joke……

"Daddy……"

"Do you want to die?"

Instantly my hand stopped in the air, interrupted by a cold voice that pierced my eardrums.

"How dare you say such stupid things in front of me."

In an instant, the air around me turned cold.

"Yeah. Come to think of it, your eyes, they are the symbol of the Imperial Family."

I couldn't help but stare at his icy eyes.

"Should I gouge out those eyes so you don't keep talking crazy about you being my daughter?"

That's when I realized, he really wasn't the Claude I had always known. My hand that was suspended in the air, trembled for a moment. What's this……? Why are you looking at me with such hostility?

What surprised me right now was a strange strange feeling, as if the person I was facing right now had become a complete stranger.

"Wait a minute……"

Even now, I couldn't breathe properly as his eyes stared at me coldly. A moment later, Claude opened his mouth, surprised and frowned —as if he discovered something extraordinary about me.

"Why is my magic in her body… Ugh!"

Suddenly a groan escaped his mouth, and Claude fell to his knees. Then, black blood started flowing out of his mouth.

"Cough!"

"Your Majesty!"

Black blood dripped down Claude's long fingers.

"Your Majesty! I will call the Imperial Doctor!"

"Why would I… Cough, cough!"

Drip!

In my eyes, I saw Claude leaning forward —he seemed to be in pain, and was spitting out black blood again. Soon, this room was filled with the fishy smell of blood. Felix rushed out, and Lily immediately wiped the blood from Claude's mouth with a hasty movement. However, all of that was useless, because Claude's coughing up of blood wouldn't stop. Now, the white blanket was stained with blood that was like a pool of water.

I couldn't do anything and just stared at him silently like a stone, frozen where I stood. After that, I don't remember anything else.

After a while, servants and people who looked like mage rushed into Claude's room and made a fuss. Soon, Claude was personally treated by the Imperial Doctor, and I was brought back to the Emerald Palace. And, until 1 week passed, I didn't see Claude once.

***

After that, my daily life returned to normal. Eating and sleeping, eating and sleeping, eating and sleeping, and eating and sleeping again… No, to be honest, at this level, it could be said that I was just lazing around. Is not it? This is the second time I've become like this, just like when I was little, I was really treated like a flower in a greenhouse.

I wanted to know what happened to the girls who were invited to my Tea Party that time, so I asked Lily and Felix, and they said that they had taken care of it. Apart from the girls, I was more worried about Zenith because she was driven by that strange power because at that time Zenith was right next to me. However, according to Lily, the wound Zenith suffered was so small that it only caused a faint bruise. Then, she said Blackie was resting in the garden silently.

Hearing that, my heart sank. Of course, this incident was my fault, maybe I had no right to think like this, but luckily no one else got hurt because of me and Blackie. Although for some reason I felt strange, why did Claude still leave Blackie alone? Doesn't he know that the magic explosion happened because I touched Blackie?

I stared at the ceiling in the distance. Come to think of it, it's been a long time since I last saw Felix. For the first few days, he came to tell me about Claude's condition, but somehow, lately he hasn't.

Right after Claude regained consciousness, Felix immediately left me and returned to Claude's side. But I was the one who told Felix to be like that. In the end, Claude's condition was not normal, and there had to be at least someone he could trust, who would stay by his side. So, just like 9 years ago, Felix was always with Claude.

According to what he told me, Claude has recovered a lot. He said that Claude was no longer vomiting blood and his skin color had improved —not as pale as before.

Additionally, since Claude had returned to tending to state affairs again after being unconscious for 10 days, everyone was able to ease their worries a little. Honestly, after hearing that, I felt quite relieved.

I know it. A person like Claude, he wouldn't be able to die today or tomorrow. Claude saved me by blocking my magic blast because he was confident that he could do it. I mean, a guy like Claude can even hit a bear with his bare hands! So, how could someone like that risk his own life to save me. That's right…… Unless he's a fool, one who doesn't know that it's dangerous enough to kill yourself. Since when did he become a person who is willing to sacrifice………

I kept repeating my thoughts over and over again until they became somewhat obsessive. However, I was dissatisfied with the fact that the person who had just been unconscious, had now woken up and started working again without proper rest. After all, he didn't know how to take care of himself. Does he think he's a triathlete?

T/N: Triathlon is series of 3 sports, namely swimming, cycling and running. Sport This requires great stamina Because third network sport That must resolved in 1 time.

However, at a certain point, small doubts and anxieties began to grow in my grumbling. Why hasn't he come to see me? Shouldn't he be able to come visit the Emerald Palace and meet me, at least once? Isn't he able to wake up and take care of state affairs? Aren't you curious whether my condition is okay or not after that incident?

Of course, I didn't forget that Claude didn't recognize me. However, Felix and Lily repeatedly told me that Claude was just confused about his memory because he had been unconscious for 10 days. Besides, I don't know whether Claude is angry with me or not…… Because I know very well, I was the cause of Claude's injury this time, so I don't have anything to say even if I have 10 mouths. In that case, should I go see him first…… Perhaps, normally, I would be the one to visit the Garnet Palace first…… But now, for some reason, I'm very hesitant about meeting Claude.

Time passed, day after day passed and I kept postponing the opportunity to meet Claude —really childish.

***

Legs stretched forward.

I stared blankly at the blue bird flapping its wings in its cage and then it started chirping. All I did today was breathe. Apart from eating and sleeping, at most I watch Bluie like now. The Imperial Doctor who came to the Emerald Palace several times said that I had recovered quickly and that I could live my daily life without difficulty. Lily, Seth, and Hannah were overprotective of me to the point of being overprotective, so they didn't let me out of the room for a while.

Then, one day, I decided to leave the room on impulse. Luckily, there was no one outside the door, so I wasn't stopped by anyone. However, as soon as I walked down the corridor, I met someone I knew.

"Oh, Princess!"

What I met was Hannah who was holding a towel that was steaming hot as if she had just finished disinfecting it.

"Princess, you can't go out like that!"

"I'm not sick anymore. I'm just going for a short walk."

Naturally, as soon as she saw me, she immediately ran towards me with a surprised expression. But I just passed it and climbed the stairs. By the way, in this Emerald Palace, only Lily and Felix can order me around. But now, neither of them is here.

Hannah chased after me, trying to reassure me once again.

"But you still look pale."

"That's because I haven't been in the sun for a long time."

Everything Hannah said just passed by my ears, I didn't care how hard she tried to persuade me, it wouldn't work.

Hannah could only stomp her feet.

"Isn't Blackie at the garden?"

But, just as I casually asked that question, Hannah's footsteps stopped.

"Come on, Princess. Why don't you go back to your room? I'll serve you a drink. Today, I've made a lot of cakes that you likes."

It was a brief moment that could be called an instant, but it was enough to make me feel uncomfortable.

"I'm going to the garden!"

"Wait a minute, Princess!"

Ignoring Hannah's call, I headed straight to the park. Maybe Hannah realized that she couldn't stop me anymore, so Hannah could only follow me restlessly, until in the end she went somewhere in a hurry. It was obvious that she was going to go see Lily, but I didn't care about that and kept walking.

It didn't take long, I finally arrived at my destination. But for some reason, the chair that Blackie usually occupied was empty. It's been a long time since I came to see Blackie in person like this. The cause of the magic explosion was me and Blackie, and Claude was seriously injured because of it. So, I temporarily followed Lily's advice not to look at Blackie. To be honest, I was also hesitant about seeing Blackie again, but now that I think about it, I have to see Blackie —at least once.

But today, Blackie was nowhere to be seen. Yes, the garden is big, so maybe it's playing somewhere else.

"Blackie!"

With that in mind, I started looking for Blackie. But, no matter how much I called it and no matter how much I looked for it, Blackie didn't appear.

"Princess!"

A few moments later, Lily ran towards me with Hannah close behind her. Seeing me covered in grass because I was looking for Blackie in the bushes, Lily couldn't say anything.

"Lily, where's Blackie?"

I asked her about that. But she couldn't answer straight away like Hannah. There was only 1 thing that came to my mind when I saw her expression.

"Did Daddy take it?"

"Princess, that's not it..."

“Daddy take Blackie to kill it, right?”

Lily heard me and opened her lips as if she wanted to say something. But for some reason, she didn't say 'yes' or 'no' —as if she didn't know what to say to me. I pursed my lips.

"I'm going to see Daddy."

"No, Princess!"

I let go of Lily's persuasion and ran towards the Garnet Palace. Today Claude —of course, he was neither in his room nor in his office. I looked all over the palace, but I couldn't find the person I was looking for. So, I went out again, this time to the garden where Claude usually walked.

"P-Princess!"

Claude is there. I looked at Felix who was next to him, he opened his eyes and looked at me. Soon, Claude's gaze slid towards me. It's been a long time since I saw Claude like that. Maybe it's because I'm used to seeing his face every day, so after not seeing him for a long time, I feel a little unfamiliar with his face.

Claude looked healthier than I thought. The day he vomited black blood, his face turned pale and then turned red. Looking at him walking in the park, it seemed like he didn't have any health problems anymore. Well, it's been almost 3 weeks since I last saw him, so maybe it's enough time to get out of bed and go for a walk.

I held my breath for a moment and stood confused, looking at Claude. Strangely, after seeing his face, I didn't know what to say. It was as if something was climbing up the tip of my neck, but I didn't know what it was. While looking at Claude, a small realization crossed my day. Ah, it seems I missed this person more than I thought.

I slightly opened my lips to say something to him. But, right at that moment, Felix stood between us —blocking my way.

“Princess, you can't do this now. For now, go back to the Emerald Palace……”

"Felix,"

That's when Claude, who had only been staring at me, finally opened his mouth.

"Yes, Your Majesty."

Felix answered with a slightly nervous face. Even in the midst of all that, Felix sent me a look that I didn't understand. He seemed to want to say something to me, but he was frustrated because he couldn't. And on the other hand, it's like he wants to hide something from me. And finally, Claude's cold voice pierced my ears.

"Why is that girl still here, as if my palace is hers?"

I looked at the face I was facing with slightly parted lips.

"Your Majesty, Princess Athanasia..."

"I've heard that sh!t."

Claude interrupted Felix and muttered as if he heard a low-quality joke.

"Princess? My daughter?"

A cold grin immediately crept across Claude's lips.

"It is funny!"

I faced the sharp taunt that Claude threw in front of me head-on without even having the chance to defend myself.

"I don't have children, so what do you mean by 'a daughter'?"

At that moment, I could feel Felix taking a deep breath. I'm not much different from him. When Claude looked at me with a cold gaze, I subconsciously took a breath.

"Who sent her? Which crazy bast#rd would dare tell her to pretend to be my daughter?"

The Claude I see is different from the Claude I first met when I was 5 years old. He is also different from the Claude I have known so far. Because, now he...

"Are they flattering you and saying that if you do all this, then all the treasures, gold, and jewels will be yours?"

All because, right now, Claude thinks of me as a stranger he doesn't know. The me currently reflected in Claude's eyes is not his daughter, Athanasia.

"I don't know what tricks they've used to persuade Felix and the others. But it won't work on me."

Claude thought that someone had used magic to make me a princess. If I'm not wrong, that's definitely what Claude thought. Even though I already knew, I still stupidly opened my mouth and called him.

"Dad……"

"Dad?"

Claude muttered once, following my words as if he was dumbfounded. And immediately, a chill worse than before wrapped around his entire body and he let out a breath.

"Shut up. If you call me that again, I'll cut out your tongue."

At that moment, my heart was beating fast. This was the first time Claude threatened me directly in this way. Come to think of it, he's never been like this to me before.

"It wouldn't be enough even if I directly tore me apart, but I was attracted to your shameless act —even if it was only for a moment. So, for once, I'll let you go."

If I don't listen to his words, then he will hurt me, or he will even kill me... And the reason is, the me in Claude's eyes right now, I am not his daughter. This was even worse than when he ignored me at the Ruby Palace and treated me coldly.

"From now on, I will lock this girl up in the Emerald Palace."

As Claude said those words, Felix who was next to him shouted, 'Your Majesty! You can't do that!'. Even after that, Felix seemed to say something again —trying to stop Claude. But, all those words did not reach my ears.

I just stood in place, looking at Claude who was in front of me.

"If you value your life, then don't show a strand of your hair outside the Palace."

He looked at me with eyes devoid of warmth, then he walked away leaving me —leaving me alone.

"If I see you again, I will really kill you."

Sunlight shines into my eyes. Felix, who was still there after Claude left, said something to me with a firm face. But, it didn't work. Because, in my ears, there were only the words Claude had just said —they kept echoing in my head.

***

Strangely, Claude suffers from amnesia. When I heard what Felix —who escorted me back to the Emerald Palace —said, I laughed out loud inside. Huh, amnesia? Isn't that something that only appears in novels or dramas?

But, right at that moment, I realized something very important. Yes that's correct. Isn't this (world) a novel called <Lovely Princess>?

Lily and Felix hesitated for a moment as I looked shocked, then, they quietly left the room —leaving the words 'take a rest' to me. Their expressions looked very sad. It turns out the reason why they were worried and always prevented me from going out was because Claude was like that. According to Felix's explanation, Claude had lost all his memories since he first met me.

That means, he can't remember a single thing about the 9 years he spent with me. No matter how Felix explained about me to Claude, Claude still said and treated Felix as someone who was under the influence of black magic. Claude kept saying that he would never have a daughter until the day he died.

"Haaa……"

Another dry laugh escaped my lips. When I think about Claude's cold gaze and the cruel words I just heard, my current situation becomes so funny. No matter how I think about it, this all seems like a lie. But, Claude who I met in person today, Felix who had been by his side all this time, and Lily who prevented me from going out, all told me that this situation was real. So, is all that true? Why does Claude have amnesia? Isn't that an absurd thing that only appears in 3rd grade dramas?

"Nonsense."

For some reason, I laughed sadly and then I threw myself onto the bed. This is absolutely ridiculous. What should I do now? I felt so overwhelmed. When I thought about Claude looking at me coldly, I felt as if a heavy stone had fallen onto my chest.

 

'If you value your life, then don't show a strand of your hair outside the Palace. If I see you again, I will really kill you.'

 

For some reason, Claude allowed me to live —even after he continued to deny that I was his daughter. But, that is on the condition that I must not leave the Emerald Palace for the rest of my life.

Confinement.

That's what he ordered. Is that true? If I leave this Palace and attract his attention, will he really kill me? Considering the look in Claude's eyes I saw today, I thought it was bound to happen. But, I still don't believe it.

I didn't know that he had really forgotten me.

No…… Do I really still not believe it? If that's the case, then why did I stay in the room like Felix and Lily told me to? If I still didn't believe it, I should have gone to visit Claude now. If Claude doesn't come to see me, I can go see him. No matter how much Lily tried to persuade me out of concern for me, there was no way Lily would be able to stop me if I remained stubborn.

"Ah… I'm so stupid."

I lay down on the bed and covered my face with my hands. Even though no one saw it, I still hid my face. Maybe I already expected it. The fact that Claude's cold attitude towards me on the first day we woke up was not the attitude of someone who was confused after being unconscious for a long time. He completely lost his memory and no longer recognized me. From the start, I was aware of it but I didn't want to see and admit that fact with my own eyes.

Before leaving the room, Lily and Felix comforted me that Claude would definitely regain his memory after a while. Sincerely, I also hope for that. Can Claude open the door to my room and come in and tell me that this is all a bad joke. Then, he said that all this time he was just pretending to lose his memory to teach me a lesson about how serious this incident was? Or maybe, tomorrow, Claude's lost memories can return to normal?

Then, at some point, I suddenly thought, have I been a lucky person all this time……? And that's why, now, all the misfortunes have crept into my life and built a new house that I didn't know about? When I thought about that, anxiety started to gnaw at my heart. And then, nothing could end my anxiety, and I woke up in the morning with a sigh.

***

"Princess, there is actually something I want to tell you."

The next day, Lily held my hand and opened her mouth —as if she was trying to calm me down.

“Your Majesty did not take Blackie.”

Lily had a blurry expression on her face as if she was worried about me. And after a moment of being hesitant, I couldn't help but question what Lily said.

“On that day, after the magic power surrounding the Princess and His Majesty completely disappeared, when we approached both of you, Blackie was already nowhere to be seen.”

"What? What does that mean?"

“Just as I said. I've searched all corners of the Emerald Palace, even the outside of the Palace, as well as where the Tea Party was held, but I couldn't find a trace of Blackie anywhere……”

Slowly, Lily's words faded from my ears. Just as I heard the explanation, a thought suddenly crossed my mind. Lucas said that Blackie was created by my magic power, and one day Blackie will be absorbed into me and disappear completely. Lucas also said that the reason why I fainted as a child was because my magic power re-entered my body through contact with Blackie, and that caused my magic power to experience an imbalance.

"Princess, I truly apologize. All this time, I've been hiding it. I'm afraid that you will be even more heartbroken if you find out that Blackie is missing."

I hope, this time too, my magic power goes berserk for the same reason as before………… Then, has Blackie really disappeared completely?

"Princess, are you alright?"

After I didn't say anything for a while, Lily cautiously asked with a worried expression.

Actually, I feel confused. Suddenly, so many things happened to me that I didn't know what to do anymore.

"I'm fine."

But, after I said that, I removed my hand from Lily's grasp and stood up. Said, Blackie disappeared. Not even a trace was found in any corner of the Palace. But strangely, I feel like this whole situation is just a dream.

"I'm going to sleep. I'm a little sleepy because I couldn't sleep last night."

Lily opened her mouth —looking like she was going to say something to cheer me up, but in the end, she left the room and just said that she would let me rest.

After I was finally left alone, I remained standing in the same place for a long time. After that, time continued to flow leaving me behind, and I remained standing in this place alone.

This is strange…… Why, it feels like all the sounds around me have disappeared? It felt like someone had stolen something from me without me realizing it. Suddenly, my heart felt empty and I didn't know what to do —like a child abandoned on the street. I've never experienced something like this before, so I feel very strange. And after a long time passed, I realized this feeling so I muttered in a small voice.

"Oh, I see."

All of this was luck that suddenly came to me, so all of this could disappear suddenly without any signs. I'm just going back to where I came from. At first I thought that all these events weren't real, but I was wrong, this is the reality. This was a reality that I had forgotten because I was carried away by living as Athanasia.

What 'emptiness'? What's 'someone stole something from me'? Since when did I start having such 'luxurious' thoughts? By becoming Athanasia, I have held things that I had never imagined before. Am I going to die now without all that? Since when do I have a weak heart? Since when can I be shaken and swayed like this? Since when could I get hurt just because of something as small as this? From the start, I am, not, Athanasia.

Claude and Lily, as well as Felix and Blackie, as well as the people in the Emerald Palace, and everything I've done here, they're all worthwhile things, but I can still live well even if they all disappear right in front of me. my eyes right now. Even if they completely disappeared from my side overnight, I wouldn't be hurt by that. That's how it should be.

Yes. To think that all this kind of luck was mine would be a mistake. It's a shame, having all this luxury makes me this weak, I even want to cry because I feel sad and upset like a child who has lost the person I love from my arms. Yes, that's correct. In fact, all of this is strange. I've never been so lucky. It doesn't make sense that I live happily as if I own the whole world. This is all a bit ridiculous.

After thinking so, my confused head started to clear up in an instant. My heart, which was beating irregularly, is now gradually regaining its calm. The things that were tightly wrapped in my heart began to come out of me slowly —like grains of sand. Suddenly, now the empty chest was filled with emptiness. But on the contrary, now I'm not sad or hurt anymore. That was a sensation I was used to, so I felt satisfied.

Krrrrrr.

Right at that moment, Bluie who was in the cage chirped and let out a sad cry.

***

For a while, I went about my day as usual. After thinking about it, there is nothing bad about my life right now. Since the first time I opened my eyes in this world until now, haven't I only had 1 goal?

Survive.

Come to think of it, I've created all kinds of dark history, pretending to be sweet in front of Claude, pretending to be kind, and pretending to be a daughter who doesn't know what to do because I love my father so much. I shouldn't have thought that any of it was real. No matter how much fun I spent with him, I must never forget the reason I approached him in the first place.

In that case, as long as I continue to live quietly in the Emerald Palace like this, my goal will be achieved, right? Clearly, Claude told me that he would not kill me as long as I appeared before him. So, as long as I remain silent, then he won't kill me. This situation is much better than when I was little, at that time I used to tremble every day because I always wondered when he would kill me.

Yes, I try to think positively. So, my current situation isn't that bad. Even though I'm locked up, there are still servants who take care of me here. Apart from that, it seems like the financial support coming into my palace hasn't stopped either. Isn't this the life of an idle rich person that I want?

When I think about that, I wonder if this is the future life I've wanted so badly for these 14 years? Rather, as I thought a while ago, compared to my previous life where I had an unfortunate fate, wasn't Claude who lost his memory even less bad? Well, if this is a reality that won't change, shouldn't I think about it as positively as possible?

That way, I can continue living my life like Hanryang. I eat 3 times a day, eat delicious food, read books and walk around in my free time, play with Bluie and sleep from noon until evening.

T/N: Hanryang ( 한량 ) is someone who doesn't work but can spend money generously and enjoy a pleasant life .

No one, including Lily and the other maid eonnis could bother me, maybe they just thought that I was heartbroken because of Claude and Blackie's consecutive incidents. So, I can live a peaceful and full life with complete comfort. Of course, it was everyday life that felt less than before, but I pretended not to feel that emptiness.

"Let's see."

And one day, I took out a book about magic from the bookshelf in my room. As soon as I opened the book, the familiar contents of the book opened before my eyes.

 

[Magic is an extremely rare type of supernatural ability, and currently only 10 out of 10 billion people can use that power freely. They can move or change objects using the magic present in their body or natural objects, and also…]

 

This isn't a library, so the books on the bookshelf in my room are books I've read several times. I've seen this book so many times that I already know the contents of the first part by heart. By the way, the first part of the book is only about theory. And because I'm already familiar with the theory of magic books —because I've been interested in magic since I was little, so I don't need to look into it any more.

 

[Very simple and easy beginner magic! Even a fool can do it! Unless, of course, you're an idiot.]

 

Hmmm. No matter how many times I see it, it's a phrase that makes me angry. When I was reading it just to pass the time, I liked those ridicule words because it was fun to read, but when I tried to practice magic using this book as a textbook, those words sounded annoying.

I furrowed my brows for a moment and pursed my lips, then I turned the page. Yes, maybe you have already guessed everything, but today, I plan to try to do the magic in this book. I've thought about it many times, the reason why Blackie disappeared, maybe it was because it was absorbed by me. I don't know what the principle is, but didn't Lucas say that Blackie was my magic power coming out of my body and taking the form of a living creature?

Since Blackie disappeared when my magic power went berserk, I thought, perhaps Blackie had returned to its original form and was absorbed into me. Of course, I had no choice but to make the decision to confirm that fact myself. And finally, today, I made that decision and opened a book about magic.

Alright, so what should I do now?

I started looking at the book in front of me with a serious face. The only advantageous thing for me is that, when using magic, I don't need to shout arcane spells like 'Loli, loli, lollipop! Take the power of my Rose ☆ ' or utter scary words like 'The darkness that blacker than the abyss, let death befall my enemies!'. If I had to shout a spell that would cause the entire universe to explode due to my hands and feet when I use magic, then I would give up my dream of becoming a magician. And whenever Lucas used magic in front of me, he never cast any spells.

For a moment, I imagined Lucas chanting a spell like 'Black darkness, Void death!'. But then, I stopped imagining that because I thought he would appear with a scary smile and say that he would kill me.

"Let's see. Here, it says that I just need to picture what I want in my head."

In this book, it is explained in long, rambling sentences, but if I summarize it, that's the gist of it. No, I mean, is that really all? Plus, isn't this easier said than done? They publish books like this, isn't this the same as robbery? If that's the case, then I can also write a book about magic!

As I read it just for fun, I don't have any complaints. But when I tried to learn to use magic with this book, I became uncomfortable. I looked at this magic book with dissatisfaction for some time, and then I pretended to be deceived and decided to follow the instructions in this book. The section I'm opening right now is the section about 'Summoning Magic' that beginners can do easily. It probably wouldn't work even if I tried, but I decided to try something. According to the words of a junior high school student that I heard when I worked part time at an internet cafe, usually at times like this the first thing to try is,

" Fireball! "

I stretched out my hands and called out gracefully! Then, surprisingly, a bright red fireball appeared before my eyes, and the fireball looked like it was going to explode —that's what I thought would happen. However, the actual fact is, nothing happened in this room. In this quiet room —even the sound of the clock ticking could be heard. Umm, this is a bit embarrassing. Ah, didn't anyone see it?

I lowered my hand and looked around for a moment. And after confirming once again that I was alone in this room, I felt relieved and wiped my chest.

What is this!? This doesn't work. This stupid magic book!

But, if I think about it from another perspective, maybe this is because my body doesn't have enough magic power to use this kind of magic. Well, I don't know if there were any other changes in my body after Blackie disappeared? Hasn't Blackie been absorbed by me? Or, because Blackie was a kind and gentle child, he was shocked by the situation and somehow managed to escape from here. Didn't Lucas once say that Blackie had something like an instinct to escape from here?

I hope that's what happens.

Actually, why did I take out this magic book? Haa. Do you think I suddenly became an Archmage? I threw the magic book aside and lay down on the bed. What's so great about magic? Actually, I feel that my life right now is more like magic to me. If I tell Lily or the other maids, whatever I want will definitely come to me quickly. Come to think of it, even when I was little, I thought it would be nice if I had money, a house, and delicious food instead of dealing with goblins or having magic lamps like those in animated stories. Not all children want toys, pretty clothes, or anything like that. My thinking about reality has been trained since childhood.

"Open fellow!"

After a while, my innocence burning with my soulless voice, I started chanting a mantra from an animation that was popular when I was little.

"Sulisuli, masuli*!"

T/N: Abracadabra Korean version . #cmiiw

Ughhh. When I was little, I often did this when I was alone.

“Gold, come out, come out, silver, come out, come out, pop!”

After memorizing a spell like that, coins suddenly fell right in front of my eyes…………

Cring, Cring!

At that moment, I heard something like a coin falling somewhere, and I was shocked. Huh? What sound is that? I wondered and turned my head in the direction the voice came from. And suddenly, I witnessed an amazing sight.

Cring, Cring! Tuk. Cring, Cring!

There was something shiny, which suddenly appeared in the air and fell to the floor. I turned my head and got out of bed.

Cring, Cring! Cring!

And immediately, in surprise, I opened my mouth wide. Oh no. What happened? Coins falling from the sky! Isn't this the same as the gold and silver coins that Lucas used when we went outside the Palace? But, why did this coin suddenly appear? Did Lucas do it?

"Lu-Lucas?"

Silence.

"If you're here, stop hiding and come out!"

Silence again.

A sudden thought struck me and I looked around. But, I couldn't find a single shadow, let alone a person, anywhere.

And at that moment, I accidentally repeated the mantra I had said earlier. Hmm, impossible, right.

“Gold, come out, silver, come out, pop…?”

I muttered to myself while staring at the falling coins.

Cring, Cring! Geez!

"Oops!"

At that moment, the coins started falling like rain.

"Wait, wait!"

Criiinnnnggggg!

A flood of silver and gold coins, in an instant they began to gather where I was —my bed.

Aaahhh! Oh my! Crazy! How can I do this!? Aahhhh!

"Hey, wait a minute! Coins! Ahh!"

I had a mental breakdown and shook my head as I watched the rain of coins fall from the air. Even as I waved my hands, the golden waves continued to attack, covering my blanket.

"Eh, stop! Stop!"

I moved my body to avoid the coins jingling at my feet. This was the first time I felt so happy, it was as if my bed was as big as the Pacific Ocean! Of course, I like money, but… But now the growth rate of these coins is so fast that I'm worried that I will be buried by these coins!

"Stop right now! Stop now!"

Cring. Knock, Cring, Cring!

After I shouted, the rain of coins finally stopped. I was panting alone in a quiet room. What happens to me now? Could it be that I'm actually asleep? Isn't this just a dream? However, when I pinch my thigh, it hurts, it seems like this is real.

"What exactly is this?"

I muttered absentmindedly at the gold and silver coins scattered before my eyes. My feet which were on the bed, were already half swallowed by the wave of coins.

"Gold coins are out! Wait, just one!"

Tuk!

I stretched out my hand and tried again. Then, this time, a shiny coin fell right on top of my head.

"Haha……"

For some reason, I laughed out loud. Did I really make this? Is it true? Really? I didn't believe it, so I tried the same thing again several times. And literally, like magic, shiny objects appeared before my eyes. And finally, I lowered my hand after seeing all this.

Wa-Wahhh. Amazing…… Looks like now I can make fake money like Lucas. But, nothing happens when I shout ' fireball ', then why does it come out when I think about money?! Apparently, my magic power respected the arrogance in me. Hehehehe.

Cring.

As I stepped forward, the gold coins kicked by my feet made a sound and scattered. I looked at him with a slightly gloomy gaze, then I threw myself onto the mountain of coins. Just like when I went to the treasure vault that Claude gave me whenever I wanted to rest my mind and body. Cring! This is the real 'drowning in money'! Have you ever heard of gold coin therapy?

"Wow, I'm rich."

Feeling the cold metallic touch all over my body, made me even more confused. Recently, I thought that only unrealistic things happened, but I never thought that something like this would happen. So, can I use magic now? Will my dream of becoming an Archmage come true? Is it true?

"Amazing, great."

But, for some reason, I wasn't too happy. In the past, when a day like this came, I think I would have laughed until my mouth tore with joy. Is this because I still feel like none of this is real?

"Absolutely amazing."

I lay on these coins and muttered soulless words that no one heard.

“Then this means Blackie is truly gone.”

It was clear that I could already use magic. That means my guess is correct. Isn’t it? For some reason, I thought this would happen, but when I personally confirmed that this was indeed the case, the cold began to fill the empty space quickly.

I already knew that one day Blackie would disappear from my sight. It's just that the time was quicker than I expected. That doesn't mean I haven't prepared myself for this. Oh I see. So that's why at that time, Lucas acted more mean to me. He didn't want me to get too attached to Blackie, but as time went by, I grew attached to him. Although, in the end it's something I can't change. Maybe Lucas saw through my stupidity faster than I did. Every time I feel weak like now, I wish someone would reprimand me harshly. However, Lucas, who always said 'You idiot' to me, is now gone.

"What is this?"

When the thought of Blackie and Lucas appeared in my head, it felt like a feeling suddenly appeared inside me. I raised my arm and covered my eyes. I don't know why this reminds me of Claude.

Argh, this whole thing sucks. I want to sleep like this for a week without thinking about anything. As if my magic power had granted my wish, drowsiness began to overtake me. I closed my eyes as if I couldn't win against this torrent of sleepiness. And quickly, I was sucked into my sleep.

***

After that, if you ask if I really slept for a week, of course that's not true. Nearly 2 hours later, I woke up to a shrill scream coming from somewhere.

"Princess! Princess, wake up!"

Oh! It was Lily's voice! Ugh, I'm sleeping. Don't wake me up. I mean, I want to sleep more.

"Princess!"

But because I didn't wake up, Lily started shaking me. Every time he did that, the sound of coins slipping and falling filled my ears. Oh, by the way, did I fall asleep on the coins?

"Okay."

When I remembered that fact, my body started to wake up on its own.

Wow, these coins really exist. So this isn't a dream, right? Ugh, my back! My whole body hurts. No matter how good money is to me, how can I act recklessly like this? I slept on a hard and even bumpy bed, so all my joints hurt!

"Princess, what happened at night? Did you move things out of the safe?"

Seeing the pile of gold and silver coins on my bed, Lily rubbed her eyes wildly, and soon, she started looking at me sadly. She must have thought that I couldn't handle the stress and told the other maids to move these coins to my room. Seeing her eyes that seemed like they were about to shed tears, I felt a little embarrassed.

Oh my, is it that often that I go to the safe, sniff money, and play with coins? No, of course, I went to the treasure vault and safe that Claude gave me as a gift from time to time when I needed healing! That's why Lily looked at me with that look. Ugh. What is my image like in her eyes?

"I didn't see anyone else enter this room…"

Then Lily expressed her doubts. It was absurd to say that I had moved this much coin to my room secretly and avoided the sight of the maids. With this many coins, I might have to go in and out a few times. But during that time, I didn't meet a single servant. How could something like that happen while the Lady of the Manor was still here. I'm not a ninja.

"No, Lily. I'm alone all the time."

It's not that I didn't think for a moment about whether I was going to lie, but I decided not to. However, if Lily asked the other maids in the Emerald Palace, Lily would immediately get the answer. Moreover, to clean all these coins, it takes hard work from the maids. Moreover, for some reason, making up lies and racking my brain is annoying.

I got up from the pile of coins and stood on my bed. And I saw sparkling objects before my eyes.

"Should I keep all this?"

Um, will all this disappear when I think 'disappear'?

Whoosh! Disappear!

"Oh my."

After I thought about that in my head, the coins piled up on my bed disappeared without a trace in an instant. Seeing that, Lily gasped in surprise. Maybe this sounds funny, I was the one who used magic but I was also surprised by the sudden disappearance of the coins in front of my eyes. Ah, it seems like I don't need to say what's on my mind out loud. It turned out to be true, the magic book said that I could use magic just by imagining it.

"P-Princess. How could this happen……"

Lily looked at me as if she was very surprised and shook her head.

" Princess, were you the one who got rid of it?"

I scratched my chin for a moment, then spoke to him with a hint of humility.

"Lily! I'm sure I've become an Archmage!"

"Yes?"

It was at that moment, Lily's shocked voice rang through the air.

***

Remembering what happened a few days ago, I was drowning in regret. Ugh. Lily's expression at that moment…… It was a fleeting moment, but it was clear that Lily was making a face that seemed to say, 'Princess, are you sick?'. Of course, after that, I gave her a bouquet of flowers! After that, her pupils started to shake and only then did she believe my words. But that's strange. Is using magic really as easy as breathing? Oh mu. Or, as expected of me, someone who has the qualities to become an Archmage! That's right, Lucas said that my magic power is quite strong!

"Princess, this is a letter addressed to you."

Lily asked me not to reveal to others that I can use magic. I heard that if you are a magician of Obelia's nationality, even if you are a member of the Imperial Family or someone who doesn't work for the Empire, you are still required to report voluntarily, but I heard that the process is very complicated.

Because right now I'm in confinement, so doing something that attracts attention like that isn't good. Claude had already threatened to kill me if I did anything eye-catching again, and if he found out I could use magic, he would definitely say something like, 'As I thought, you used black magic to pretend to be my daughter. I knew it!', then he would kill me. Of course, Lily didn't say that to me, but I'm sure she thought that too.

"Looking at the date, it seems like it's been a long time, these letters must have been delayed."

I received the letters Lily gave me and looked at the names written on the envelopes. Let's see. There were 6 letters from the Tea Party members, including the Lily Girl, 1 letter from Izekiel, 2 letters from a Noble Lady I didn't recognize, and Zenith…… 5 letters?! Hard to believe. Everyone only sent 1 letter, but Zenith sent 5 letters.

"Miss Magritta is the young lady who gave you the ribbon, right? She must be very worried about you, Princess."

Lily said that with a warm smile on her face and left.

With a strange feeling, I opened the oldest dated letter from Zenith. Geez! Why can I smell the fragrance of flowers as soon as I open the envelope? Could this scent come from the paper? Sigh, the aroma is very nice, like perfume. If you think about it, both the envelope and the paper look very beautiful and luxurious. The character of the main protagonist is really something. Apart from that, the white letter had floral decorations on it, it had neat and elegant handwriting —it looked exactly like the writer.

 

I know that this is rude, but I still wanted to write this letter. I heard the news that the Princess had woken up this morning. What a relief. I'm worried about your situation, and I never feel comfortable because I keep worrying about you. I always pray every night so that the Princess can open her eyes quickly.

 

Keugh. After reading that far, I immediately stopped reading the letter for a while because I was overwhelmed with emotions. In her letters, I could feel the worry and excitement he felt. Come to think of it, Zenith was the only one who put my safety first on the day of the Tea Party when the other girls were busy avoiding Blackie.

I started reading the sentences on the paper again.

 

The other Ladies attending the Tea Party that day were all worried about you, Princess. Right after His Majesty arrived there, we were guided by the knights to leave immediately. After that, the fact that the Princess was unconscious all this time was something I only found out after pleading with Duke Alphaeus, and it seemed like the other Ladies only heard the news that the Princess was seriously ill. So, I didn't tell anyone about it.

 

Oh, I see. I heard from Lily that the other girls were safe, apparently they were evacuated to get out of the Palace once Claude arrived. And me being in a coma was a secret to everyone, except a few people. Wait, how did Albie know about that? Oops. He was truly a man who did not rest on his laurels.

I finished reading the letter while muttering. The contents of the letter after that were filled with words like, 'Get well soon, I hope your condition gets better'. But, why did she send 5 letters?

Feeling curious, I started opening other letters from Zenith one by one.

 

I heard that the princess asked how I was. How can you be so good? I'm not hurt anywhere, so you don't need to worry. Instead, I'm worried about you. Hope you get well soon.

P.S. If it's not a hassle, may I continue to write to you as often as I do now?

 

After some hesitation, I decided to write a third letter. Forgive me for sending you another letter without your permission. But, since the Princess didn't even say that I shouldn't send letters to you, so I decided that it would be fine. Even if this bothers you, I hope you will understand with your generosity. In fact, this is the first time I've written a letter like this to anyone other than extended family, so I'm nervous but also very excited.

Oh. I remember that I once wrote a letter to Izekiel when he was in Arlanta. But, he is like family to me. Come to think of it, did you receive Izekiel's letter? He is also very worried about you, Princess. Some time ago, I happened to see an envelope on Izekiel's desk, and it was addressed to the Imperial Family. So, I know that it is a letter to you.

But I decided to pretend not to know. Because I also wrote this letter by keeping it a secret from other people. So, in another sense, he and I can be called partners?

 

I read the rest of the letter Zenith sent with great interest. It turns out that Zenith has a talent for writing. All the letters she sent me are interesting to read.

The contents of the other 2 letters are also similar to the previous letters. The contents of the letter started by asking how I was because she was worried about my condition, then slowly the contents changed to become like a letter sent to a friend, and I laughed out loud when I read it.

That's right, 1 year is the age where you are in the prime of life…… Ugh. Thinking about things like that makes me feel old. I have to open the other letters.

Zenith's letter that I had read had such a strong impact, while the contents of other people's letters felt the same. Izekiel, Lily Girl, and the others expressed their concern for me and asked me to get well soon.

I thought about it for a moment, then got up from the sofa with the letters I had just read. Then, I placed it on my desk which was near the window, and I sat there.

Let's see. Do I have paper? So far, when I send out invitations to Tea Parties, someone else writes them for me, so I don't have to write letters. So, I had to look in my drawers to see if there was anything that would be useful to me. I opened the drawer wide and rummaged through the contents. And finally, I found a piece of paper that could be called stationery. But, looking at this mediocre paper makes me not feel satisfied in the slightest.

Not only Zenith, all the letters sent by the other girls had luxurious decorations. If I sent a reply to their letter with paper like this, wouldn't it be beneath my dignity as a princess? Ugh. Besides, this letter I received smells good, sniff.

In the end, I called Lily and asked her to bring me all the paper that was usually used when writing Tea Party invitations. After choosing the prettiest paper among the many papers, I sat back at my desk with a happy heart. I chose paper with a small rose decorated in the corner which was drawn beautifully.

Let's see. What should I write in return…… I put the tip of the pen to my chin for a moment, pondered, and finally made a decision then moved my hand across the white paper.

Dear Miss Magritta,

I apologize for the slow reply. I appreciate all the letters you sent me since a few days ago………

***

After that, I often exchanged letters with Zenith. Since there was nothing to do in the Emerald Palace, reading and replying to letters that came from time to time became my new hobby.

“Princess, for some reason, you look a little thin lately.”

"Uh, really?"

When Lily said that to me as if she just realized, I was opening the scented envelope and reading the letter from Zenith. Hearing those words, I tilted my head curiously. Does she think I've lost weight recently? That's weird. Recently, I have been doing my daily activities very comfortably, I just play and eat every day, shouldn't my weight actually increase?

"I have to tell the kitchen to prepare food more carefully from now on."

Lily said that with a face that looked a little worried. No, I think I'll become a pig if I eat more of this, arghhh. But on the other hand, I also prefer Lily who expresses like that. So, I didn't say anything.

"Princess, are you really going to the garden today?"

"Yeah. The weather is nice, and it would be a waste if I stayed inside."

Lily asked me in a hesitant voice, then after looking out the window for a moment, I answered with a smile. Then, she returned my smile with a sad expression and left the room to prepare the tea.

Tuk.

I put the letter from Zenith on the table. This time, I didn't write a reply straight away, I'll think about it a little longer and then write a reply tonight or tomorrow. In fact, there is nothing important about the contents of our letter. Because it only contains trivial everyday stories. In addition, because neither of us is allowed to leave without permission, the contents of the letter only talk about Zenith's daily life at the Alphaeus Residence and my daily life at the Emerald Palace.

Actually, I didn't intend to exchange letters with Zenith for a long time, but my conversation with her felt more comfortable and enjoyable than I expected. Come to think of it, this felt like we were actually meeting face to face. Even though before, I was always on guard every time I looked at him, but now I feel that the defensive wall inside me is slowly getting thinner.

And maybe…… The reason why I can't treat Zenith harshly and the reason why I can't reply to Zenith's letters as easily as before, maybe it's because my feelings towards her have changed. To be precise, if before my feelings towards him were like pity and sympathy, perhaps my feelings towards him now are……

"Because I don't have anything to do, so I keep thinking about various things."

I raised both my hands and slapped my cheeks lightly, then stood up. However, we ended up sharing everyday stories in the letters we exchanged every few days, but recently, Zenith told a story about her Aunt.

Zenith’s Aunt is the woman who planned the murder of Athanasia in the novel <Lovely Princess> with the intention of making Zenith the First Princess. She was the one who entrusted the infant Zenith to the Alphaeus Family.

Of course, Zenith goes by the surname Magritta, so when Zenith talks about her Aunt, she refers to her as 'someone who is like family'. However, when I read her name on the letter several times, I could easily guess that the person Zenith was referring to was 'Countess Rosaria', her aunt.

In the letter, Zenith couldn't hide her excitement, Zenith said that her aunt would soon come to the capital. For Zenith, that person was the only family she was still related to by blood, so of course she felt happy because she could finally meet him after so long.

But, I can't be as happy as Zenith. That's natural. That's because when I received Zenith's letter today, I started to suspect that the snake-like woman had an ulterior motive for coming to the Capital. Are they going to start doing something now? Well, in the novel, it seems like it was around this time that Rosaria left her territory and came to the Capital. However, now everything is different from the story in the novel. If you follow the plot of the novel, Zenith should have now entered the Palace after successfully completing her debut.

Whatever the reason, my thoughts became complicated for some reason. And I couldn't read Zenith's letter with a happy heart like I usually do.

"Wow, the weather is nice."

Once I was out of the Palace, I slowly raised my hand to block the glaring sunlight. Obelia is a country where spring and summer alternate throughout the year, so the weather is always nice except when it rains or it's too hot.

"Come on, Princess."

When I entered the garden where white roses were blooming, the same scene as usual appeared in my sight. However, this time Felix wasn't here, and I could only visit places within the Emerald Palace, so wherever I walked, I was always alone. Maybe it's because humans are adaptable creatures, so I got used to it quickly, and now, when the servants see me walking around alone, they don't panic like before, they have also become accustomed to all this.

"Princess, call me if you need anything."

"Thanks, Seth."

When I smiled and thanked her, she left with an expression similar to Lily's. But she didn't leave the garden, it was clear that she was still watching me from afar.

I licked my lips as I watched Seth disappear through the rose bushes. Haa. Lately, everyone is looking at me with that kind of face.

Seeing their faces like that actually made me feel uncomfortable, but I couldn't help it. Ugh, even if I were them, maybe I would react the same way if I met a girl who had a situation like mine right now.

After letting out a soft breath, I looked at the table and there were many desserts that I liked. However, looking at the desserts that focus more on chocolate than other flavors, it's evident that they care about my mood. Sob. Seth is a cold city girl, but she warms to me.

After a moment of being lost in emotions, I lifted the teacup. In fact, Lily and the other maids noticed that I was enjoying some me time in the garden where Claude and I usually were together. But right now, I'm alone. Wasn't eating and drinking alone popular in my previous life? I don't have to worry about anyone else, look how fun this is. I don't have to worry about anything, and I can enjoy all these desserts in a relaxed manner!

Besides, isn't this garden too nice to make me stop walking around just because Claude isn't here? But if you say that I can't use a nice place like this just because of Claude, then that's really misleading! In the first place, this Emerald Palace is the only property I own in this Imperial Palace. That's right, isn’t? Claude, who lost his memory, ordered that I be locked up in this Palace, that means he admitted that this Emerald Palace is mine!

So, I can ignore the concerns of the other servants. Finally I ate chocolate cake while enjoying the surrounding view. Look at this. I eat 3 times a day and always have snacks like this, so how could I lose weight. Apparently Lily had been worrying too much about me lately, so she must have just seen it wrong.

Sraaa.

When I blew, the shadows of the trees on the grass swayed helplessly.

I took the teapot and poured the tea into the teacup that was in front of me. Claude wouldn't do this simple thing with his own hands and always asked the maids to do it, but that's not the case for me. First of all, if you have weak limbs, why would you ask someone else to do a simple task like this? Of course, it seemed that the Imperial Family and the Nobles had something to pay attention to when in front of other people. But hey, there's nothing like that for an overlooked Princess! Besides, this is me time aimed at healing, so I don't want anyone else here.

With that in mind, I threw away all the manners I usually showed when in front of Claude, I sat down on the chair with my elbows on the table, and put my head on my hands. Oh, this is comfortable. I don't care about other people's views, I just do what I like, and it feels good.

It is said that learning etiquette is a necessary skill for Nobles, but they demand more from women than men. If you think about it, sit pretty, say nice things, and always stand with correct posture. Why does this world or any other world always demand so many things from women? Eww, gross.

When I thought about that, I felt pain in my heart for a moment and I immediately sucked the liquid in the teacup. After I finished the cup of tea, a subtle aroma filled my mouth. What I drink now is lippe tea. To be honest, there are many other teas that suit my taste —I like sweet flavors, but after following Claude, I only drink lippe tea every time I have healing time .

I put the empty teacup back on the table and looked around slowly. This garden was filled with blooming flowers and there was a faint fragrant aroma. The dazzling sunlight colored the green leaves a much darker light. The abundant leaves shaded the chair I was sitting on, then the blades of grass under my feet were swept by the wind and made a sound. A small tea table and 2 chairs are on the green grass. All kinds of cakes that I like are on the table, it's like a scene I've seen before. However, different from before, now there was only 1 cup of tea on the table and the chair in front of me was empty.

I just looked at the chair in silence, then took the teapot again and poured tea into the cup again. Then, after placing the teapot in its place, I looked down at the teacup in front of me, and then, impulsively, I moved my hand.

Different.

The chair in front of me couldn't be reached by just stretching my arms, so I had to get down from my chair.

After a while, my cup of tea was steaming in front of the empty chair in front of me. Even though no one was drinking the tea, I still poured it, I felt a little satisfied.

I sat back in my chair and looked at the scene in front of me, then after a while, I raised my gaze upwards.

"Ah, a sparrow."

And I saw the birds flying above the blue sky. This is indeed a calm and peaceful healing time . Not long after that, the tea on the empty chair cooled down, and I brought the tea cup in front of me again.

***

"Today is His Majesty's birthday."

Said Lily who was combing my hair. I stopped yawning and looked at Lily's face in the mirror. I could see him checking my facial expressions rather carefully.

"Yeah. Everyone must be very busy."

I know. Today is Claude's birthday. But I just reacted as if I had heard things that had nothing to do with me.

"They said there would be a banquet at the Garnet Palace in the evening."

That was the story I heard from Felix who came to visit the Emerald Palace for the first time in a long time. The Garnet Palace and the Imperial Palace were bustling with preparations for Claude's Birthday Banquet.

Originally, I was also going to attend the banquet, but now that became an empty plan because Claude lost his memory. It is said that it is impossible for members of the Imperial Family who have already made their debut at the age of 14 to miss the Emperor's Birthday Banquet…… But, what should I do when the birthday person doesn't invite me?

"I'm not going anyway."

"Your Majesty will definitely recover soon."

Lily emphasized as if trying to cheer me up, but I just smiled at her.

Today, the sun is shining brightly. I looked at Bluie perched peacefully in its cage. I thought it would be cramped if I kept the bird in a cage, so sometimes I let it out indoors, but soon after, I had trouble getting Bluie back into its cage. They said, if I train it well, then it can become a messenger bird, but how do I train it? Hmmm. Maybe later, if I have the chance, I should summon someone who knows a lot about birds to the Palace.

Srakk.

I watched Bluie eat, and with somewhat bored hands, I opened the book in front of me. Because I have to stay in the Emerald Palace, so I can't go straight to my private library that Claude made for me. So these days, I would ask the maid to bring me a book, and end up reading the book in my room.

I turned the page of the book while half lying on the sofa. What I am reading is a complete collection of world literature. Actually, I wanted to read interesting fiction novels, but I didn't have the confidence to ask the maid to bring me the books I had hidden in the private library.

Ugh. The insults I received from Lucas and the Library Door’s Guards at that time were embarrassing enough. Oh, come to think of it, is Lucas okay? I don't know where the World Tree is, but it seems to be a very far place. If Lucas saw my current state, he would definitely laugh at me, right?

I opened the book and thought about this and that, then suddenly I opened my palm and cast a spell.

"Money."

But nothing happened. I frowned slightly. In fact, I haven't been able to use magic properly since the day where I made coins in my room. Why did I say no? Because sometimes, what I imagine can come true easily, but other times, no matter how hard I try to imagine it, what I imagine never appears.

"Gold coins!"

Crick, Crick.

"Out comes, gold nuggets!"

Crick, Crick.

Haa. It's definitely not easy to use magic…… Lucas, I'm sorry. Actually, when I was first able to use magic, I already looked at you lightly. Finally I lowered my arms and lay back on the sofa.

"Princess, may I come in?"

"Please come in."

The door opened, and Hannah was surprised for a moment when she saw me sprawled out on the sofa.

"Y-You must be tired, right?"

She spoke to me in a very cautious tone, like she was dealing with her teenage niece?

"I made madeleines for you, Princess."

"Oh, that sounds delicious."

Seeing the snacks that Hannah brought, the gloomy aura around me faded quickly, and I got up. Wow. We can visit Mount Geumgang after eating*! After all, this was Hannah, the person responsible for my snacks since I was little.

T/N: Visit Mount Geumgang after eating ( 금강산 구경도 밥을 먹은 뒤에 한다 ) is a proverb which means 'in any situation, eating comes first'.

"Is it just me? Or does the Palace really feel quiet today?"

"Ah. It seems that some servants in our Palace have been called to help with the banquet preparations as additional personnel."

Aha, so that's how it is. 'We've been busy preparing for the banquet. But you guys definitely don't have anything to do, right? Then come and help me!'. That's definitely what happened.

"Because of that, it seems like Seth will be at the Garnet Palace all day."

"Then, Hannah, you must be bored, huh?"

"Ah, Princess thinks that too? I'm not that close to Seth."

Hannah grumbled, denying the truth that everyone in the Emerald Palace already knew. The fact that Seth and Hannah were a pair of needle and thread or you could say they were both a pair of chopsticks, that was a fact that I already knew, as did Lily, the other servants of the Emerald Palace, and even the insects that Seth had cruelly exterminated.

"By the way, Princess, I already told the chef to be extra careful in preparing dinner today. Let's have fun tonight. How about it?"

The words Hannah said made my heart feel a little down . Ah, it's Claude's birthday, so she's trying to cheer me up because she's worried that I'll feel depressed if I spend the night alone. Moreover, I originally planned to attend this Banquet, but things turned out like this.

"Yes. Thank you, Hannah."

I smiled at Hannah gratefully. Of course, in such a warm atmosphere, I had to get up from the sofa. But, for some reason, I still act lazy. But in conclusion, tonight, I couldn't enjoy dinner with my family at the Emerald Palace. That's because, the knights suddenly entered the Emerald Palace, where I was.

"W-What did you guys say?"

I looked at Lily's back standing blocking me in amazement. The knights who had suddenly entered the Emerald Palace stood before her. They came straight into the room I was in and said some very surprising things.

"It is an order from His Majesty to take Princess Athanasia by force right now."

"Taking the Princess by force!? How dare you say such words in front of the Princess…!"

“If you do not wish to incur His Majesty's wrath, please step aside.”

"I won't do that! I won't even let you touch the Princess… Ah, Princess!"

When Lily blocked me and didn't move away, a man who seemed to be the leader of these knights pointed his chin at the other knights. And then, as if the knights had been waiting for him, they began to move in unison.

"Argh! Can't you let me go?"

"Take your hands off the Princess right now!"

As if they were an obstacle to taking me away, these knights also captured all the servants who were here, including Lily and Hannah who were in the Dining Hall with me. The knight grabbed my arm and forced me to stand up from the chair.

"Princess!"

Oh, what kind of situation is this? I was just about to eat delicious food with all of them, as Hannah said. Isn't the Party going on in the Banquet Hall right now? Then, why did Claude tell them to take me? Is my hearing correct? They said they were told to take me by force? They treated me like I was escorting a criminal?

"Princess Athanasia de Alger Obelia entered the room."

When I was taken to the Banquet Hall in the Garnet Palace where Claude was, I still didn't understand this unrealistic situation.

The guard guarding the door shouted in a broken voice, as if he didn't know whether to announce my arrival or not. But, before he finished saying my name, the knights immediately took me through the door. The dazzling light in the Banquet Hall seemed to blind me for a moment. But this time, my arm was dragged roughly, and I was made to fall to my knees as if they had thrown me onto a red carpet.

"Athanasia."

Soon, the low voice sounded above my head. That cold and indifferent voice did not sound familiar to me.

Ah, that's Claude. I lifted my head following the voice, a voice I hadn't heard in a long time, even though I knew there wasn't the slightest warmth in it. And suddenly, I was immediately met with icy eyes.

"I have shown unseemly generosity, I even went so far as to let you —a girl who dared to mock me —live."

Those extremely cold eyes penetrated me. Claude was sitting on a large chair at the top of the Banquet Hall, he looked at me who was kneeling on the floor. At first glance, the figure who was holding his chin looked bored with this situation. However, those blue eyes looking at me, were extremely cold —as cold as the icy ocean.

"Even on a day like today, your outrageous name stains my ears. So, what should I do with you?"

Hearing every word spoken by Claude's mouth, an eerie silence seeped deeper into the Banquet Hall. This was a truly strange sight. Even though there were so many people invited to this banquet, my ears couldn't hear the sound of breathing from the people present.

"Your Majesty!"

Only Felix who was standing next to Claude shouted with a shocked face.

"How could you do something like that to Princess Athanasia…!"

Felix had a painful expression on his face, as if he couldn't bear to see me who had been dragged like a criminal by the knights and made to kneel on the floor of the Banquet Hall. And he also looked at Claude who had given such a cruel punishment with a gloomy face.

"Felix Robane."

However, soon, a cold voice interrupted Felix's words.

"Do you really want to die because of treason?"

In my not so long life here, I have never seen Claude speak to Felix in such a cold voice.

"Everyone praises her as a princess and makes her big-headed. Doesn't that mean she's an arrogant person with an evil heart?"

It was also the first time Claude looked at me with unfriendly eyes. This banquet was a banquet to celebrate his birthday, but now Claude looked crueler than before. And it wasn't too hard to see that the reason that made him like that was me.

"Count Padma."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"Who do you think this girl is kneeling in front of me?"

Claude asked the man standing to his left in a very low voice. However, the man did not answer him easily, and once again, a cold voice traveled across the Banquet Hall.

"Why are you mute? Repeat the words you just said with your mouth. Didn't I just order you? Are you deaf?"

It was only then that the man called Count Padma opened his mouth reluctantly, he broke out in cold sweat.

"Isn't she Princess Athanasia de Alger Obelia, the Princess you yourself acknowledged, Your Majesty?"

"Wrong."

In fact, Count Padma's answer was correct. At least that's how it is, based on the relationship between Claude and I so far. But, the answer that followed after that was not an affirmation.

"That girl is neither my daughter nor a princess."

Claude refused my presence in front of the Nobles gathered to celebrate his birthday. As the words flowed out of his mouth like a declaration, the people around became restless. A low humming sound swept through the Banquet Hall like a wave. Some people looked at me with their eyes wide open, others covered their mouths in surprise, and there was also someone who whispered something to the person next to them.

"Not even for a moment, until now."

And I became a spectacle for the people here, I felt my whole body gradually become cold, starting from my fingertips as if I had been exposed to cold water.

"That's not my daughter."

Right now, I am Athanasia de Alger Obelia. That is, Athanasia in the novel <Lovely Princess>.

“That person kneeling before me is just an insignificant and stupid sinner.”

My existence was completely shattered into pieces and scattered in the air like dust.

"So, if anyone calls her princess a second time in front of me, then, regardless of rank, I will behead them for treason."

When Claude said that I wasn't his daughter. Also, when he said that I would never be his daughter.

"Haa. Athanasia. Is that a suitable name?"

The cold smile that Claude showed me, it pierced my heart. At this moment, he was a stranger to me, just as I was to him.

"Last time, there was something I decided."

Claude's eyes looked back at me. I caught his cold eyes sliding across my body, and I grabbed the carpet on the floor as if it was the only thing I could hold on to right now.

"Next time I see you again, I will definitely kill you."

Under the white light, Claude looked like an ice statue that had no blood flowing through his body. A cold-blooded emperor who had no compassion or warmth who did not acknowledge Athanasia as his daughter, and never called Athanasia's name affectionately once.

"However, it's a pity that I don't feel like seeing blood today."

What is in front of me now is that kind of Claude.

"The excitement has died down. Let's call off today's banquet."

He rose from his seat as if he had lost interest, leaving only those sharp, dagger-like words and a cold gaze aimed towards the end.

"Get that stupid girl out of my sight now."

After hearing his order, the knights started approaching me again. But Felix stops them.

"No. Your Majesty!"

"Felix, are my words nothing to you? What are you doing?"

"Your Majesty! You'd better punish me!"

Of course, Felix's words would not take priority over Claude's. Once again, my arms were grabbed by the knights and forced to stand up from my position. While listening to Claude's thorn-like words, the lip I bitten hurt. Finally, I opened my mouth and spoke to the knights who were gripping my arms until I felt sick.

"Remove your hands and step back."

"This is His Majesty's order."

But on the contrary, that grip actually became stronger. I gritted my teeth, then waved my hand at the people next to me with all my might and raised my voice.

"I told you to back off!"

Bang!

At that exact moment, the knights were pushed back with the same force as when Zenith and the others fell the other day. But this time, the power wasn't that strong, and it only made them take a few steps back. Even so, each of them looked down at their hands and then looked at me in confusion.

I looked at them with a cold gaze and let out a cold voice.

"I never gave you guys permission to touch me."

The same silence filled my surroundings as before, but now it was a little different. The people who had been looking at me and Claude were contemplating with pale faces —as if they were going to faint from shock. And Claude, he looked at me with a cold face with one eyebrow raised. I looked into his eyes and opened my mouth.

"There's no need to be forced like that, I'll come out on my own."

In this Banquet Hall, where there wasn't a single thing that wasn't beautiful, from the luxuriously dressed people, the dazzling chandeliers on the ceiling, and the impeccably clean marble floor —visible from the side of the red carpet, I was the only one the only one that looked very shabby. So it won't change much if I leave.

Because I had practiced hundreds of times since I was little, I lifted the hem of my dress with both hands and bowed my head slowly in a polite manner. Then, I greeted Claude who was in front of me as Princess Obelia, not as his daughter.

"Please forgive me for not preparing a suitable gift on such an auspicious day. I don't think you want congratulations either, so I will leave this place according to your wishes."

In the eerie silence, I looked up and saw Claude's face.

"May the blessings of glory and greatness bless the Sun of Obelia. Congratulations on your birthday, Your Majesty."

And until the end, I remained calm and turned away from him, then turned away. Claude, who just said that he would kill me at any time, was strangely silent. It's just that he kept staring at my back, I knew because my back felt sore from his gaze. In this spacious Banquet Hall, there was only the sound of my footsteps echoing.

Tak, tak.

I escaped the hell that Claude had given me to the end without bowing my head or shrinking.

***

The corridor was quiet, perhaps because it had been a long time since the banquet started. I walked alone on a quiet white-tiled street with no one passing by.

Tak, tak. The sound of my footsteps sounded unpleasant. At first it was a slow pace, but after feeling like I didn't like the sound, I gradually quickened my pace. And after a while, I almost ran across the corridor holding the hem of my dress.

Tak! Brak!

Then I felt that my ankle sprained. After a while, the pain spread to my knees and palms. When I came to, I was lying on the white marble floor. I gritted my teeth and tried to get back up, but somehow my legs didn't have the strength for it. There was only the sound of heels rubbing against the floor echoing in my ears.

Then, suddenly, my gaze landed on my hands that were shaking violently. Only then did I realize that my entire body was shaking like a tree in the wind. My palms hurt from being injured by my nails, perhaps because since I left the Banquet Hall, I always clenched my fists.

I can't remember how I just got out of there, and how I walked into the corridor where I fell right now. This was the first time he forcibly threw me in front of so many people for a spectacle, and also the first time he said such sharply honed words without even giving me the slightest chance.

Suddenly, I felt like I was out of breath. I felt like I was going to vomit something, so I raised my shaking hands and wrapped them around my neck. I don't know what I'm going through.

"……Princess!"

Suddenly, I heard a voice calling me from not too far away, and without realizing it, I stopped shaking. I thought the footsteps were rushing towards me, and then the low voice came again.

"Princess Athanasia."

Claude threatened to punish people for treason if anyone called me Princess, it seems there are people who are not afraid of that threat. I didn't turn towards the voice because I knew who it was, I've known since the first time the voice called me.

If I keep pretending I didn't hear anything, can't he just leave? That's what I thought. I thought I could feel his presence getting further away, so I think my stubbornness worked. But the reality is not like that. That's why I flinched when I felt something touch my ankle.

"My apologize for my impudence."

Perhaps realizing my surprise, Izekiel slightly loosened his grip on my ankle. It was a gesture that seemed to say that if I felt uncomfortable with his touch and wanted to reject him, I could break away from his touch at any time.

Without realizing it, I turned towards him, I was faced with his face which was half immersed in light and darkness. Maybe because today was Claude's birthday banquet, Izekiel was wearing luxurious clothes like at the Debutante Party. However, his hair, which had always been well-groomed, now looked a little messy as if he had been in a rush.

I just stared at him in silence without moving an inch, Izekiel moved his hand again. What was in his hand was my shoe. I didn't realize it until now, but it seems like one of my shoes came off when I fell earlier. Maybe the reason I felt his presence fade was because he stopped to pick up my shoes.

Carefully, Izekiel returned the shoes to me. But, when I saw her acting like that, strangely, an unknown feeling came over me. Maybe because his touch was so gentle. Even though he had seen everything in the Banquet Hall just now, my eyes and voice were still very polite and warm…… Maybe that was why the emotions that I had been holding in my heart, were now flowing freely.

Drip.

Right at that moment, Izekiel's shoulders jerked. I could feel his expression change as he looked at my face, but I couldn't stop the tears from falling again. It was all because of the kindness Izekiel showed me.

Ironically, right now, I'm thinking about the person who hurt me so badly. What I had lost in the past was now clear to me. But after realizing it, I felt ashamed of myself. Wounded? To think that I was hurt because of Claude. Because he rejected me. Because he treated me harshly. All of that made my heart feel very painful and tears came out of my eyes. I laughed because I was so stupid.

At first, I just tricked him to survive. All the time I spent with him was just a lie for my survival. But what is this? In the end, it turned out that everything turned out like this. Apparently, I had unknowingly given him affection at some point. I didn't want to believe that he had forgotten me, and I was afraid of the fact that he would never remember me again. Compared to the fact that he was going to kill me, the fact that he rejected me and didn't treat me like before made me sad.

But, I don't want to admit all those facts. I got used to the fact that I was always alone, the days where I had to give up something were far more than the days where I had something in my life. No matter how much I want something to death, my chances of getting it are as slim as picking stars in the night sky. So, no matter how greedy I was, I still couldn't express my desires. That's how I protect myself, and that's how I block myself from these miserable feelings.

So, I should be able to do it this time too. Acting as if I never had anything in the first place —as if the affection, warmth, and kindness that person gave me was never mine…… Even if Claude disappeared from my life like this, I would be fine.

But every time I think about it, my heart feels unbearable pain. Until now, the person closest to him was me. And now, to him I am nothing, all that familiarity never meant anything. Every time I remember that fact, I suddenly feel lonely.

Oh yes. At this point, I can't deny it.

In fact, I've never been okay since I found out that Claude had forgotten about me. No matter how much I repeat that I'm fine, I'm actually not fine. Miserably, I deceived myself while telling all those lies.

Intoxicated with the warmth I felt for the first time in my life, and the goodness prepared just for me, without knowing that it was mud that gave off a sweet aroma, I had dipped my feet into it. So now, I'm sinking into it little by little.

If I didn't know that sweet taste, then I would never know it. However, since I already know it, now I can't get out of this mud by my own will. Honestly, right now I feel like I'm going to die. Moreover, I could not accept the fact that the cause of all this misfortune that befell me was myself. Every day, I feel so irritated that I might go crazy. That's why, actually I'm not fine.

"Don't look at me like that."

So, I should be fine.

"Because I'm not crying."

Because if not, then I can't help myself.

"Yes. I didn't see anything."

Izekiel didn't laugh at my stubbornness that was so meaningless and unimportant. He turned his face away from me and remained by my side in silence until the tears completely stopped flowing down my cheeks. The white light visible in the distance faded like fog in my vision. Like a night view in the rain, or like watercolors spreading across a canvas, everything reflected in my eyes began to blur like a dream. Maybe because of that, I felt like I was in an aquarium.

Ah. I wish everything I saw would turn into bubbles and disappear. I closed my eyes, feeling stuffy  —like a goldfish that couldn't breathe because it didn't have gills.

It had been a long night, and it felt like it would never end.

***

Satisfied with our translations?

Support SeiRei Translations by tipping on Ko-fi or Patreon.

***

Previous | Table of Contents | Next

***

What do you think about this chapter?