Prologue | He Who Left | Remake our Life
I began to have scary dreams often.
Ever since I came back to the world of 10 years ago, I have been waking up every so often with nightmares. I would wake up sweating profusely and with tears streaking my face, which sucked all my energy. Even if I slept, I could not regain my strength, which happened many times.
"... Ah, I see it, again..."
And for the past few days, I had been having nightmares in a row. Relieved that it was just a dream, a feeling of exhaustion came shortly thereafter. Along with repeated rough breathing, the memories of the dreams came back to me, step by step, tormenting me. The contents were always almost the same.
Tsurayuki is always there.
He bids me farewell and walks away, a sad look on his face. It is a memory of that rainy day. When I try to call him back, my feet suddenly become too muddy to walk, and gradually he disappears, and soon it is dark with no one around.
Regretting terribly that I had lost Tsurayuki, I sat down on the spot, slumped down in the mud, and then struggled in the mud and sank down.
While saying 'Sorry, sorry Tsurayuki'.
"Tsurayuki..."
I keep thinking about him, who is no longer here.
How should I do to avoid going to an unwanted future? My encounter with Saikawa, the circumstances of Shinoaki, and the return of him who was gone. I kept trying to figure out how to make it work.
And now, I was finally about to reach the entrance.
The return of him who has been making stories with our team for a long time.
Lost by my deeds, his resurrection.
Finally, I am at the point where I can execute.
"However..."
Fuu, I let out a sigh.
Will it really work? All of the measures I have in mind are just theoretical. I won't know what will happen if I actually try them until the time comes. On the other hand, it is also possible that the situation will get even worse by taking action.
I am an evil person who manipulates everyone. I have nightmares because I have a guilty conscience.
I have already lost a friend through my own actions. Now I am about to do something that will hurt that friend.
I should have been prepared. I should have been able to act without hesitation, because even if it was my ego, I had to believe in it. I should have decided to go through with it even if I was no longer considered a good person...it was supposed to be.
Even so, the hesitation still lingered beneath my consciousness. It manifested itself as a nightmare.
"I'm no good at all, I'm..."
I suffered when I was looking at it, and I suffered afterwards.
Would the return of Tsurayuki really end this suffering? A loud sigh and the sweat trickling down my forehead further drove my consumed mind to the edge.
"Hmm...?"
Knock knock, there was a low, subdued knock on the door.
"Kyouya-kun... are you okay? Can I come in?"
It was Shinoaki's voice.
"Ah, I'm sorry... okay, come in."
When I replied, the door gently opened.
"I heard a loud voice just now, so I wondered what was going on."
It must be the voice when I woke up.
I thought I had kept it under control, but I may have yelled something in my sleep.
"I'm sorry, I just had a bad dream."
Shinoaki made a worried face.
"Again... You have seen it."
After saying that, she came to my side and sat down.
"I guess you're just tired ... because you've been so busy lately."
She gently rubs my back and says kind words.
"...Thank you. But I'm fine now."
The truth was, I didn't, but I couldn't let her spoil me.
I treated her like a pawn, even though it was for the sake of future production. I made everyone bear the burden of hardship, saying that if we had worked together to create something, it would have been settled peacefully, in order to create the future as it should be.
"You're going to Tsurayuki-kun's place, aren't you"
I nod at Shinoaki's words.
"I'm sorry, actually, I would have liked you to come, Shinoaki..."
When I told her, she shook her head,
"It's a tough time for production. It can't be helped."
She laughed when she said that.
"Besides, I'm enjoying drawing now. So I'm glad."
I don't know if what I'm doing is right or not...
The only good thing is that she said so.
(I wonder what kind of things Shinoaki will make)
So far, the work of Shinoaki and her team has been a complete black box.
I was both looking forward to and afraid of seeing the results.
In contrast, our work is still in the middle of the road, or rather, has not even reached the entrance yet.
To be honest, I am impatient. But nothing will progress if we are impatient.
There is no other way but to proceed steadily, one step one step.
"Well, I'm getting up."
"Yeah, then..."
Shinoaki said so,
"Ah..."
She gently hugged me and wrapped my body in her arms.
"Do your best, Kyouya-kun."
"...Yes"
I couldn't resist the gentleness and warmth of Shinoaki, not even a little.
Perhaps I sat there for what seemed like a minute. Shinoaki gently patted my back,
"Okay, then."
She said, waved lightly, and went back to her room.
"Shinoaki..."
I was pathetic. I was ashamed of myself for being buried under her kindness, and also of myself for not caring for her.
Shinoaki should now be ready to take on another solo battle. She can't ask for anyone's help, she can only push herself to the limit. Even if one tried to speak words of sympathy, they would inevitably come out empty, because no one could understand her pain.
Despite such loneliness, she faces it strongly. With her gentle smile and soft voice, she breaks down the barriers that stand in her way one after another.
I wonder what I can do for that preciousness.
I wonder if I'm just doing something that makes it even more painful.
"What a nightmare... Me."
I slap my cheeks with both hands to wake up.
I am not the only one suffering. No, everyone is suffering more than me. But this is no time to be a spoiled guy.
Let's get Tsurayuki back. That sparkling talent that was lost due to my stupid negligence. I will do whatever it takes.
I looked at my watch and saw that it was an hour before I was supposed to get up. Let's go ahead and get ready, wake up Nanako, and get going.
Where to go is, of course, already decided.
It's where Tsurayuki is.
I quickly change my clothes and check my luggage.
"Alright..."
After all the preparations, I faced the closet again today.
I take a deep breath and open it.
A frightening number of yellow sticky notes.
It is a scenario that describes my future, our future.
It is both a mass of ego and a pathfinder pointing the way to the future.
I peeled off the one that was stuck right in the middle of it and stared at it.
"Make Rokuonji Tsurayuki return to college"
The words, especially those written in bold letters, lit a fire inside me.
"Let's do this"
Straighten my back, stare ahead, and step slowly down the stairs.
I felt the heat of a sticky note lodged in my hand as I clutched it tightly.
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